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Have I lost the plot or is this manageable?

118 replies

UpSticks9 · 23/12/2025 14:31

We have fallen in love with a property in the countryside (not far from where we are now) which has land. It’s our dream so I need to know if that is currently clouding my judgement.

Property would triple our current mortgage costs and would need £200k to extend and renovate.

Once bills are paid, we would be left with £1600 a month. We don’t have children but plan to have them in the next 3-5 years. It seems very doable right now but we I am happy to be told otherwise by people who have similar disposable income.

That £1600 would need to cover savings/ investments, anything child related (in the future), holidays, new cars, etc.

OP posts:
UpSticks9 · 23/12/2025 17:25

Thanks all - loads of great feedback and advice. It is good to hear different views and I suppose not having children means I have probably been a bit nonchalant about the additional costs. The plan is to have children in 3-5 years so that’s an additional few years to save more (I already have mat leave costs set aside) and also, we will have increased our income by then too. We are at the junior end of the ladder so there is significant scope to improve our income.

£1600pcm would be disposable income I.e. the money leftover after bills. I think some people thought we may still have food, cars and bills to come out of this.

We have approximately £2.5k disposable income currently and we feel very comfortable. I currently save 50% of my monthly income which I would no longer be able to do.

It does sound as though 2k may be more doable so I’m going to look at how much more equity we could put into the purchase.

OP posts:
YourWildAnt · 23/12/2025 20:21

I'm finding this thread fascinating because I put something up on Friday saying I had literally half of what OP expects to have left over after bills and I felt it was a struggle, and people were telling me I was "rage-baiting", "well off and doing a humble brag" and they would kill to be in my position. Now £1600 is tight and impossible to manage on?! What an interesting insight into the world of Mumsnet 🤔😅
OP, I think you know in your heart what the right answer is about your finances. However, you do not currently have children and cannot begin to imagine the time they will consume from you. As you are completing one task, they are somewhere else creating three more tasks and a dirty nappy for you to clean up. Consider life with children before you make a decision. Nothing can realistically prepare you for the life shift.

UpSticks9 · 23/12/2025 20:36

YourWildAnt · 23/12/2025 20:21

I'm finding this thread fascinating because I put something up on Friday saying I had literally half of what OP expects to have left over after bills and I felt it was a struggle, and people were telling me I was "rage-baiting", "well off and doing a humble brag" and they would kill to be in my position. Now £1600 is tight and impossible to manage on?! What an interesting insight into the world of Mumsnet 🤔😅
OP, I think you know in your heart what the right answer is about your finances. However, you do not currently have children and cannot begin to imagine the time they will consume from you. As you are completing one task, they are somewhere else creating three more tasks and a dirty nappy for you to clean up. Consider life with children before you make a decision. Nothing can realistically prepare you for the life shift.

I think I saw your post! I was fully prepared for people to tell me finances may be a stretch or even the other way and to tell me to stop being an idiot but I don’t think I’ve properly considered the time element before now. I suppose until you have children, you’ll never appreciate how much time they take up.

I do have friends and family who have land and they have never complained or mentioned they couldn’t cope. Babies were strapped in and out to feed the cows. Toddlers put in an all in one and wellies and out on the quad. Appreciate I may have rose tinted glasses on because I’m sure they all struggled at some point, and we will be no different!

OP posts:
napody · 23/12/2025 20:48

UpSticks9 · 23/12/2025 20:36

I think I saw your post! I was fully prepared for people to tell me finances may be a stretch or even the other way and to tell me to stop being an idiot but I don’t think I’ve properly considered the time element before now. I suppose until you have children, you’ll never appreciate how much time they take up.

I do have friends and family who have land and they have never complained or mentioned they couldn’t cope. Babies were strapped in and out to feed the cows. Toddlers put in an all in one and wellies and out on the quad. Appreciate I may have rose tinted glasses on because I’m sure they all struggled at some point, and we will be no different!

So glad to see youve taken peoples comments about time and workload on. Once you have kids time and money are even more closely linked because childcare is so expensive but work/managing land won't get done without it. I had a funny feeling you'd seen some kids strapped to people and quad bikes... people always think that a baby is like a dog (you just take them along for the ride) until you have them! Did those friends work compressed 40hrs each as well as managing the land? Do you consider things like you may have a child with additional needs? Have the kids first then make realistic plans afterwards.

Crofthead · 23/12/2025 20:54

Mum2Fergus · 23/12/2025 14:51

The question I think relevant on posts like this is will you manage if one (worst case, both) of you were to lose your income?

I don’t think any lenders could maintain repayments if both were without income.

UpSticks9 · 23/12/2025 21:00

napody · 23/12/2025 20:48

So glad to see youve taken peoples comments about time and workload on. Once you have kids time and money are even more closely linked because childcare is so expensive but work/managing land won't get done without it. I had a funny feeling you'd seen some kids strapped to people and quad bikes... people always think that a baby is like a dog (you just take them along for the ride) until you have them! Did those friends work compressed 40hrs each as well as managing the land? Do you consider things like you may have a child with additional needs? Have the kids first then make realistic plans afterwards.

One is self-employed so probably works 60+ hours a week but they didn’t really have animals to take care over. Usually chickens and a hand full of cows/ sheep. I can’t see us having a working farm as such. We want an orchard and a huge vegetable patch (I know they are work because we have one) but mainly, the land will be used for our dogs. We will rent some out to local farmers if there is a demand. We only wanted 2-5 acres maximum but it’s so difficult to find anything that this one coming up with 8 acres feels like a needle in a haystack.

Realistically, we couldn’t take on such an enormous project whilst having babies/ young children. We lived through our renovations (average houses - not including land etc) and its graft. You work 40 hours a week but there’s at least 4 hours work a day to do ripping out walls, hacking out flooring, rewiring, etc. That’s without having to chase the gas engineer or the electrician. You go weeks/ months without water and heating. That isn’t fair on anyone let alone little ones. I know that it’s now or not for decades which adds to the pressure!

OP posts:
YourWildAnt · 23/12/2025 21:01

UpSticks9 · 23/12/2025 20:36

I think I saw your post! I was fully prepared for people to tell me finances may be a stretch or even the other way and to tell me to stop being an idiot but I don’t think I’ve properly considered the time element before now. I suppose until you have children, you’ll never appreciate how much time they take up.

I do have friends and family who have land and they have never complained or mentioned they couldn’t cope. Babies were strapped in and out to feed the cows. Toddlers put in an all in one and wellies and out on the quad. Appreciate I may have rose tinted glasses on because I’m sure they all struggled at some point, and we will be no different!

I had to ask mumsnet to remove it in the end because of the ways some people were responding!
I wish you all the best of luck with whatever you choose. This is an absolute dream of mine that I didn't realise until AFTER I had had children, so it is completely unrealistic for us at this stage. I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide!

YourWildAnt · 23/12/2025 21:03

Another thing to consider is whether you could make an income from the land? There are lots of entrepreneurs who sell cut flowers, etc from their farms. Even the Shell On Earth lady would be amazing to follow to see how she does it with such a niche product. This could be a gateway to a whole new career. Good luck!

UpSticks9 · 23/12/2025 21:05

YourWildAnt · 23/12/2025 21:03

Another thing to consider is whether you could make an income from the land? There are lots of entrepreneurs who sell cut flowers, etc from their farms. Even the Shell On Earth lady would be amazing to follow to see how she does it with such a niche product. This could be a gateway to a whole new career. Good luck!

It’s definitely food for thought. We live in quite a popular tourist destination so we could potentially convert some of the outbuildings into airbnbs or add cabins to the forestry section. Not something we would rush into given all the regs!

OP posts:
Bottlesofrumonthewall · 23/12/2025 21:09

I think it’s okay only if you’re willing to grow all your own food because then you would be saving on shopping costs and that might kind of free up more money

SarahAndQuack · 23/12/2025 21:17

Bottlesofrumonthewall · 23/12/2025 21:09

I think it’s okay only if you’re willing to grow all your own food because then you would be saving on shopping costs and that might kind of free up more money

Grin Grin Grin

mixedcereal · 23/12/2025 21:20

If this is your forever home and you have future increased earnings projected then I would absolutely be doing this…

GloriaMonday · 23/12/2025 21:20
Grin
Superscientist · 24/12/2025 09:02

This time last year my partner and I were both in stable jobs, my partner was due to be promoted and I was working towards promotion some time in 2025. We were trying to conceive our second and felt in a really comfortable position.
That all changed in January when my company announced 50% redundancies for my team and by mid Feb I found myself out of work and 8 weeks pregnant. I'm now looking at 18 months out of work and a change of career as my eldest is needing more support outside of school hours.
My company has gone on to make the rest of my team redundant in the summer. My partners work announced voluntary redundancies in the summer and likely to announce compulsory redundancies in the new year. Due to the way his position is funded he is ok until 2027 but doesn't know about after that

On the space of a year we have gone for two stable and progressing careers to potentially both being out of work. Our sector has seen massive deinvestment this year with £2 billion worth of projects being pulled and moved out of the UK.

We were house hunting in 2022 and we found two properties we really liked. One at the top of our budget that would have needed a lot of work and one at the bottom of our budget that didn't need much work and right now I'm so glad we hadn't stretched our budget to breaking point. We are now on 1 salary and comfortable which makes this stressful time less stressful.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 24/12/2025 09:06

Sounds totally unmanageable to me

1600 is just less than 400 a week for bills, food, car, house maintenance, 3 days of nursery fees, adult dentists and prescriptions, clothes, any visits to family etc.. for 2 adults and a kid, that's plainly not happening

So, it's either house or kids I'd say

Even without the kids you need a plan that covers one of you losing their job

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 24/12/2025 09:13

YourWildAnt · 23/12/2025 21:01

I had to ask mumsnet to remove it in the end because of the ways some people were responding!
I wish you all the best of luck with whatever you choose. This is an absolute dream of mine that I didn't realise until AFTER I had had children, so it is completely unrealistic for us at this stage. I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide!

Was that a thread about living on the bread line though? Not that anyone should be nasty to you, but there is a difference between saying 'I am in a temp shit situation - and only have xx to last the month how will I cope?' and being told lots of people live on very little because life dealt them a rough card vs doing what the OP would be doing which would be choosing a life of financial insecurity cis she didn't think things through.

Redburnett · 24/12/2025 09:17

Don't do it would be my advice, because you will struggle in 1001 ways once you have children, both financial and time. Your children will not thank you if you are still there when they are teens, cut off from friends through rural isolation.

Nevermind17 · 24/12/2025 09:26

UpSticks9 · 23/12/2025 14:51

Is £1600 not sufficient and if not, why? Maybe that’s the bit I’m struggling to know. We could buy a tractor to maintain the land ourselves.

If there is a lot of land and trees, do not underestimate how much time/money it costs to keep them in check. Every time there was a storm we’d have branches half hanging off and we’d have to get a tree surgeon out to sort them all. It was always £1-3K a time. Is it a big old house requiring a lot of maintenance? Even after a complete reno old properties will throw up regular costly maintenance issues.

Id say your current budget is wildly insufficient for this house AND children, unless you and your DH can do the big jobs yourself.

Redburnett · 24/12/2025 09:32

Just to add, my parents had friends who did this (bought a smallholding) although their circumstances were different (planning to live off the land rather than continuing to work). For the man it was great, he lived his dream of 'living off the land'. For the woman, she shouldered the burden and her life was non-stop work - the house and children, and working on the land except they couldn't make a living so she had to get a full time job - and still do everything else. I didn't know them well, but I heard that the woman broke a leg and I recall thinking it must have been a relief to have a rest! I saw the man in passing one day, he still had that faraway dreamy look in his eyes.......so I'm sure it was great for him.

KimHwn · 24/12/2025 09:37

We've just done something similar OP, though I am self-employed so income is less dependable, and we have one acre and not eight- but our mortgage is smaller. It's a complete change of lifestyle and I think we've bought into no holidays, no day trips really, no shopping for anything other than need. Eight acres is a lot when you both work, I think, so I'd look at planting at least a couple of acres of fruit trees, get some sheep for grazing, and maybe even plant a small woodland (the Woodland Trust do grants for this.)

Those who talk about the difficulties of having teens in rural isolation have a point, but as someone who grew up that way, it's a temporary difficulty which means you will need a very dependable car! Your kids will have more outdoorsy lives, will have a good connection with nature, and will have the honour of being bored sometimes, which is very important for growing brains!

Dozer · 24/12/2025 09:41

Not sensible financially IMO, when you want DC. Renovation costs could be much more than your estimate. Childcare costs loads and it isn’t a given that current and future employers will agree to the condensed hours you’d both like.

Your plan is very high cost in terms of time and money and is dependent on both your work situations remaining stable. This often becomes far more challenging after DC.

UpSticks9 · 24/12/2025 09:45

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 24/12/2025 09:06

Sounds totally unmanageable to me

1600 is just less than 400 a week for bills, food, car, house maintenance, 3 days of nursery fees, adult dentists and prescriptions, clothes, any visits to family etc.. for 2 adults and a kid, that's plainly not happening

So, it's either house or kids I'd say

Even without the kids you need a plan that covers one of you losing their job

Edited

No, you have misunderstood. Bills, food, cars are already accounted for. This is disposable money only which would include 3 days nursery in 3-5 years. We could afford it on my salary alone and in 2 years, could afford it on DHs salary alone. We would also have the 200k equity which we could use until we got back on our feet but that may mean not completing the renovations in their entirety.

OP posts:
nancpmf · 24/12/2025 09:45

There’s way too much missing information to provide much advice. What are your careers like, will you earn more? What is your lifestyle like? What are your goals? What are your plans when you have kids? What lifestyle do you want with kids? £1600 would have been fine when we were earlier on in our lives, but absolutely not now. So for me it’s your career trajectory that matters most.

redskydelight · 24/12/2025 09:46

Do not assume that working compressed hours will be feasible when you have small children. Particularly if you have additional work associated with your land.

You might have nice, easy undemanding children who sleep through the night from an early stage. Or you might be dead on your feet.

Enrichetta · 24/12/2025 09:53

The one thing you really, REALLY will appreciate once you have children is TIME.

No ‘ideal’ property will ever make up for the time you need to look after your children, your spouse, and yourself.

Don’t do it.