How do you stop constantly wanting to buy more stuff

[Bottlesofrumonthewall]

I’m trying to be more eco-friendly and sustainable, and the two feel at odds. Constantly buying and changing things doesn’t sit well environmentally, but I also don’t want to live in a state of permanent dissatisfaction with what I already have.

So how do others manage this?
Is it more about mindset than strict rules?
Do you limit buying, avoid browsing, practise gratitude, buy second-hand, or do “no buy” periods?
Or do you accept that wanting things is just part of being human and try to keep it in check?

We don’t go to the shops much as do it all online, but when DD was 3 or 4 she started really wanting all the stuff in the gift shop at the museum.

it made me think - the lovely new things are all laid out in such a lovely way that we just want to own them. Even things that have no value to us, like a toddler wanting tea towels or coffee table books because they just look so… wantable.

Seeing it through her eyes gave me a different perspective, to enjoy the shop as a show of lovely things. But mainly, to avoid the shops!

I am terrible for buying clothes and make up and toiletries.
I have lots of clothes but I do have to wear smart clothes for work so I can’t get by with a very limited casual wardrobe. I also enjoy having a wide selection of clothes.
However, I am trying to cut down. I have only bought one bottle of perfume this year and that was abroad.
I don’t buy from Shein or Temu. I don’t buy lots of other ‘stuff.’
I stopped buying lots of other things when I moved house and downsized. If I have a clear out, I really don’t want the nice, tidy cupboards to get messed up again that keeps me motivated.
I stopped buying books as I had
to get rid of 3 bookcases when I moved. I now use the library which is cheaper, and saves me having to get rid of the books.
I donate any books I have read to a local charity which provides free books to the community.
I have told all family and friends that I don’t want ‘stuff’ for Christmas . Instead I’d prefer an experience or for them to take me out.

In reality; it’s a lot of quite tough physical work in all weathers which never ends. And once you have animals, you can’t take a day off. Even for flu. Or travel without a lot of palaver.

It can be idyllic in summer 😄. Apart from the flies!

In winter it is freezing and relentless. Everything is covered in mud.

Worth it overall though. But physically demanding.

Citronellacompostella
What a lovely post.

Thank you so much LunaTheCat.

The same to you too! 💐

There’s a lot of mud atm it has to be said! 😄

One in one out
wear/ use to destruction

take great care choosing things so I love what I have to limit dissatisfaction . It took me 2 months to decide on a pair of shoes that should last 10 years plus. Buy to last if you can - it’s way cheaper on the long run.

don’t browse and shop because that’s geared to making you feel dissatisfied - think of shops as emotional manipulation. Learn to say “oh that pretty” rather than “oh I’d like that “

Currently struggling with buying too much and online shopping. Have lost a lot of weight & that has exacerbated things. I'm pretty unhappy at work so i shop for a momentary high. That needs addressing!.

I will say that I return if it doesn't work for us and I try to buy in the sale. I am also very good at decluttering. Give away to charity and take stuff to the tip. I haven't got into debt because of shopping but I don't save as much as I want to because I'm always online shopping. I probably need to find a therapist to help with all of this. Or need to work to change mindset to stop it. May start by unsubscribing from all the emails that come about deals and sales.

Covid and having stuff delivered all the time in that period has created a consumerist monster here.

I wish I knew! I feel like I waste so much of my headspace wanting things, always something new to want. I think it's better at times when I'm busy, so I'm online less (less adverts and social media content) and have less time to browse in shops and supermarkets.

I try not be too annoyed with myself when I do buy things I don't need and remind myself that actually I'm constantly being exposed to the concerted marketing efforts of massive corporations, who are doing everything they can to make me want to buy their things, so really I don't stand much of a chance when you think of it like that.

This is my perfect life 🥰

I don’t go browsing in shops or online as a leisure activity- I’m aware that some people enjoy this but I have always hated it so I find it easy to avoid. I also don’t use Instagram or TikTok so I don’t ’follow’ people, or see what others are buying and I have no idea what’s in fashion.

I get massive satisfaction out of putting money in savings- much more so than spending it. My anxiety about waste and the planet makes buying stuff really unenjoyable and uncomfortable. Unfortunately I still worry about how much stuff some other people are buying and wasting, but I can’t do anything about that. And lastly, my income is such that buying what I need (not what I want) is what I’m used to. I don’t need to own pretty things- it’s nice that they exist in the world but they don’t have to be in my house.

Buy 2nd hand. I love Vinted and charity shops then you can either re-sell or donate when you're tired of them.

Agree with this, buy well and buy once

The words 'It won't look like that on me' have worked wonders to slash my clothes shopping. You see something on some stunning model with the light and props just right, and you subconsciously crave the lifestyle, the feeling of it, but when it turns up it's almost always a disappointment on a short dumpy 53-year-old!

I think the main thing is to stop going shopping. Remove all the shops (including things like Insta and TikTok) from your habitual browsing and replace them with other fun brainless things, like Wordle, the crossword, etc. Sometimes you need a little break - that's ok.

Every time you want to buy something, put that money directly in your savings account instead, or buy yourself a Premium Bond, or donate to something fun like Planet Wild where there's a project you can follow along with.

I sometimes have this urge to acquire something, it's a bit like wanting a cigarette or a sweet or a drink. I have a charity bag in my hall and when I feel that urge I go and find something in my house to give away and put it in the bag. This works weirdly well to scratch the itch, IDKY.

I have just unsubscribed from
Wyselondon - there's a sale on and I had a chunky jumper in my basket. £159
Ninja - been eying the ES701 £699
Mytheresa - wanted some farm rio dresses.

The ads and the emails just draw me back in. Reading that I am not alone has been strangely comforting though.

There's a lot of truth in the insecurity bit. Once you have lots of money, you're often less driven to spend it. Obviously, there are lots of wealthy people who have lots of money and enjoy spending it. But there are also lots of people with hundreds of thousands in savings and investments driving ten year old cars. I know too many people who look the part (new home, flash car, holidays, nice clothes), but they spend every penny they earn, or even admit that they live in perpetual debt. Once you can afford to buy anything you want, the desire to do so does lessen immensely. I say this as someone who has spent a big chunk of their life skint!

Never ever browse.
Respond to identifying a need. Level of need should be related to budget but doesn't always have to be utilitarian - it can be for something of beauty.

I'm human and I don't want things. Certainly as I've got older I find that 'things' are not what make you happy. Couple this with the fact that most things now are crapper, more badly made, won't last as long and cost more than before....it's fair to say the novelty has worn off. I'm happy with the stuff I have. It's very peaceful and saves a fortune.

Some excellent advice above. I’ll just add two things:

As I got older, I got more impatient - especially with trying to find the thingummy I’m looking for amongst clutter. These days I like space and order and not having to wonder where I might put whatever it is I need right now.

Secondly, I have so many hobbies, interests, friends that I simply don’t have the time to shop. What’s more, I get beyond bored when I do need to buy something and actually have to do some shopping.

Do you impulse buy? Next time you realise you are in a “purchasing” mode, sit down with pen and paper and do a basic CBT exercise:

1. Situation:
2. Where am I / what triggered this urge?
3. Automatic thought: “If I don’t buy this now, ____.”
4. Feeling (rate 0–10):
5. Anxiety _ Excitement _ FOMO _ Boredom _
6. Evidence for the thought:
7. Evidence against the thought:
8. More balanced thought:
9. “I want this, but ____.”
10. Alternative action (delay, not deny):
11. Wait _ hours / Add to list / Close tab / Do ____
12. Check-in later:
13. After waiting, do I still want it? Yes / No

Agree with PP who said they can't find stuff they know they have somewhere. We've an attic, big shed plus and attic full in previous house and I hate that I know I have something somewhere but can't find it as we're disorganised and chaotic. I know I've spare christmas stocking somewhere, just can't find them.

I love the feeling of a holiday home where there is space on shelves and empty tables. It's inspiring and gives me room to think and be creative. This is what I'm aiming for in 2026.

Best thing to do for me is to avoid shops as much as possible. Online groceries or just nip in and out.

Being over 60, I feel qualified to answer this:
if it's a need where absolutely you cannot function without it, then buy the best you can afford, and that will work out cheapest in the long run eg I just replaced our 26 year old Miele washing machine because the pump had gone and it truly was uneconomical to replace given a couple of other (minor, still functioned) things had gone wrong. Average cost/year £10. In that time my friend has had SEVEN and it's cost her triple or more. She now has a Miele....

I may look for new china in the sales as we're below functioning level for visitors now, not got enough large plates, and we're into an era of boyfriends/girlfriends adding to the numbers. I last bought a decent set in 1983 , Denby, bought in the sales mostly 1/3 off. Pattern is dated but that doesn't matter it is functional item after all. Might be able to sell the surplus to a collector to make up sets perhaps? Hubby bought a cheap set reduced in Sainsburys about 7 or 8 years ago, and that really has not lasted, the plates chipped, cracked etc.

As for clothes, I do still have rugby tops & jumpers from almost 40 years ago which I still wear...I mostly get clothes as presents so almost never buy anything myself unless a) it fits my colour scheme b) it's charity shop or reduced or it's consumables: knickers, socks etc.

Lovely thread op. I agree with so many posts. This lady has inspired me to keep on track, being content with what I already have.

Not Needing New https://share.google/v9vGqiwsRf6p84yVC

Hope the link works ok. She also has a Instagram page all about the joy of living with less.

Never, ever go browsing for stuff in the shops or online. Why would you? Then you’re at the mercy of advertising and slick content, big corporations who literally exist to get us to part with money.
only buy stuff when it breaks and don’t buy the cheapest stuff you can buy.
look after stuff ie service your car regularly and properly, protect your clothes when cleaning, simple stuff.
But mostly the secret is just not being very wowed by acquiring new stuff. There just isn’t much I want enough to spend loads of money on, and I’ve worked out by my advanced age that the things that matter and give me most pleasure, cannot be bought in a shop or online store.

ETA, I also find having no money helps. If it isn’t there, you can’t (or shouldn’t) spend it.

Work out how many hours you need to work to pay for it. Then ask if it is worth an extra hour or six at work.
This works for most people on normal salaries, not high earners, obvs.