Help with Banking suggestions for elderly

[MsIncognito]

Hi all. Not sure if anyone can help. We’re based in Scotland so would need to be something we can do here. My father is constantly getting caught out with money being taken out of his account by con type subscriptions.

He is a menace. He cannot help himself and just buys junk off of Facebook adverts etc. I am not kidding when I say we have cancelled and requested a new bank card at least 9/10 times this year. Almost monthly.

The issue is he legitimately “subscribes” to quizzes or vitamins etc etc because he’s bored and lonely. He won’t help himself. Won’t go out or join any clubs is technically challenged and doesn’t remember what has been told to him or shown to him every single time I try to unsubscribe him.

I am at my wits end. The only thing I can think of is to take over his financial management for him and remove his bank card with a chip in and only allow him a debit card to draw cash to do his groceries but this is not convenient as he lives in a village that doesn’t have many cash point machines and he’s too lazy to walk far to get cash for the one grocery shop he does per week.

He lives a 40min drive from me so for me to get to see him I need a good three hour window which is a struggle. Takes me an hour and a bit in travel time and the rest of the time is spent trying to fix his technical issues and has become a frustration and chore just visiting him. I feel selfish not doing more but I am so fed up of these problems that I dread visiting him. It’s never a pleasure anymore. Don’t know if he’s getting dementia or just switches off when I try explain anything vaguely technical on his phone etc. because he says he doesn’t understand.

He keeps asks for more apps (instagram) and QR scanner so he can vote in Strictly come dancing or see TV schedules etc but I know it’s just another route to him spending money he doesn’t have and getting scammed.
He’s getting over £140 taken out of his account monthly and is now refusing to cancel his card again, and now can’t even buy his grandchild a Christmas present as he has no savings left.

any ideas??

Also worth tackling the contributing loneliness issues - would he agree to a cleaner? Recruit the right person and it is someone coming to the house and chatting/being around once a week. Of course, recruit the wrong person and they could rinse him for a lot of money - go with a carers agency perhaps if you can find someone who would clean with a carer mindset, but with the structures of an agency in place.

They did give good advice though you would need PoA , there is nothing else they can do. He can move his money into an savings I suppose and just give himself so much a month to spend would he do that?

Without a legal document to say that you can control his finances, you're not going to get far. People with capacity are allowed to make bad decisions.

https://www.mygov.scot/power-of-attorney

It gets tricky if you think he's lost capacity and you don't have this sort of document in place.

Not sure if helps but Bank of Scotland allows you to block the card for certain types of transactions. You can do an Abroad Freeze, In Person Freeze, Gambling or Online & Remote Freeze. They still allow DD's etc to work and you can still take cash out. I have access to my dad's account as a Joint Card Holder so can check the payments etc on the app if he needs me to do anything but I leave my card on Freeze most of the time.

OP is in Scotland where the legal system is very different and completely separate.

https://www.mygov.scot/power-of-attorney

Your dad would have to be in agreement though, OP.

Thanks all. Lots of good advice. I’ll answer most in one here…

1. can I move this thread to the elderly board as suggested? It’s my first time posting and I have no clue.

2. he would be ok with a POA. He’s desperate. I do have access to his online banking because he’s asked me to but not officially.

3. he has a cleaner in and some help from community around the loneliness, depression and boredom sadly he won’t do anything they, or I have suggested for years, to help himself. Like join a walking group, he loves walking, but he’s developed agoraphobia and always says yes to anything I or they suggest and then cancels at the last minute. Including coming to see us or out for meals etc.

4. I do move some money into his online Savings but he lives on his weekly pension and doesn’t get much. So if I move too much out he can’t pay his bill.s.

5. he won’t get a credit card so I’m not worried about that.

I will look into the POA and even one if the other banks. Thanks all

Good luck he does sound like he is open to POA,I would just go ahead with that where does he get his weekly shop does that not have a ATM where he can just with draw money and he can just have a non debit card, although im not sure if you get those anymore.

Get another current account and move all his money into this one, and move all the bills and legitimate direct debits into this. Then set up standing orders once a week into the account he now has, and remove the overdraft facility.
Literally a pocket money account. Then, when it is gone it is gone.
he will need to do this with you, and you can open several current accounts with the same bank.
might this work ?

Get him to set you up with Financial Power of Attorney. Then you can make arrangements with banks on his behalf.

In the meantime, if you poke around enough there will a way of talking to the vulnerable customers team for his bank. Usually buried in the phone options, but also a direct number somewhere. They’ve got additional training to help with these situations. If he’s with you so can give permission on the phone then you shouldn’t need power of attorney.

Moving to prepaid cards could be a good option. Theyre like gift cards, but on visa.

Set up automatic payments for his bills and his savings account, so the money goes out as soon as he gets it. This way he'll be left with only his spending money.

You could also transfer most of his money to his savings and transfer a fixed amount per week back to his checking, so he has a weekly allowance. This can also be done automatically.

You say that he is ¨lazy", but not incapable of taking money out of the machine. I think that if you do get PoA, just make him go to the machine. This would force him out of doors by necessity. He has plenty of time. It's inconvenient, but not impossible. This would prevent him from making online purchases and getting scammed again.

You could also restrict his internet access, but putting time blockers on sites such as Facebook. He is taking the path of least resistance (as do we all), but being bored is good for us. It makes us creative and forces us to focus our thoughts.

I also think your father needs a hobby or two.

From experience, my best advice would be to take out a Lasting Power of Attorney and you control the account.

i used to just draw my Dad out x amount a week and I dealt with the rest.

I took out an LPA, with my dad, with his agreement, and he couldn’t do much without my help and agreement. It worked, after numerous scams etc.

Can you find any online forums he might like so he can be chatting to 'safe' people on line about things he's interested in, rather than spending money on dodgy sites.

If you can’t get him to do LPA, consider switching him to Chase. The card has no numbers on it- to access the card details you have to access the app. If he’s technically challenged, this might be a simple enough barrier to put in place to stop the bleeding? Obviously no good if he’s more technically competent.

Have a look at Sibstar. Working well so far for our elderly relative with dementia