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Original poster

Dad wants me to manage inheritance for sibling

18 replies

wtftodo · 25/11/2025 20:07

I’m one of three siblings. One lives at home with our dad, doesn’t earn an income. Our dad is pretty ill and talking about financial plans once he dies. He expects to leave us around £40k each and has told me he wants me to look after my brother’s and pay him a small about per week over 10years.

He refuses to set up a trust or speak to a tax/inheritance expert or lawyer. He’s knocked back my suggestion to leave it in a private pension. He just wants me to have the money and pay it weekly to my brother.

My concerns are:
can I even have this money in my account if it’s not “mine”?
what implications are there for me for sending money to a sibling every week? will he therefore be “a dependant”?
what happens if something happens to me?

I suppose if it’s possible for me to set up a trust for my brother once dad has died then I could do that - if that’s allowed?

I don’t have a relationship with my brother. Also, our dad has form for absolute chaos when it comes to money, bereavement and more.

would appreciate any advice

OP posts:
EleanorPeck · 25/11/2025 20:12

Not an expert but if you needed to go on benefits at anytime, that £40k kept for your brother would be seen as income and would prevent you from accessing certain benefits. I think you should tell your dad that you refuse to accept money for your brother. It should not be your responsibility to give him a weekly allowance for the next ten years. That's a huge responsibility and very unfair on you.

RescueMeFromThisSilliness · 25/11/2025 20:22

Has your father made a will?

Genevieva · 25/11/2025 20:25

I think he’d have to leave it to you with a letter of wishes regarding his intentions. If he leaves it rot our brother, but not in a trust or pension, he’d get it immediately and could sue if it was withheld.

Namechange822 · 25/11/2025 20:43

Can you open an account in your brothers name (with his consent obvs) and then set up an automatic transfer of x amount per week?

This deals with all of the tax, universal credit etc implications. But doesn’t stop him accessing it if he tried hard enough.

Holesintheground · 25/11/2025 20:48

EleanorPeck · 25/11/2025 20:12

Not an expert but if you needed to go on benefits at anytime, that £40k kept for your brother would be seen as income and would prevent you from accessing certain benefits. I think you should tell your dad that you refuse to accept money for your brother. It should not be your responsibility to give him a weekly allowance for the next ten years. That's a huge responsibility and very unfair on you.

This. It's a load of trouble and could lead to you losing out financially yourself. Tell him no, he needs to pay a solicitor to set this up.

Bromptotoo · 26/11/2025 08:49

EleanorPeck · 25/11/2025 20:12

Not an expert but if you needed to go on benefits at anytime, that £40k kept for your brother would be seen as income and would prevent you from accessing certain benefits. I think you should tell your dad that you refuse to accept money for your brother. It should not be your responsibility to give him a weekly allowance for the next ten years. That's a huge responsibility and very unfair on you.

If clearly held with brother as beneficial owner the benefit difficulty is not insurmountable.

But if Dad wants the set up you mention the will has to provide for it.

Unless your brother is mentally incapable to the point you need to involve the Court of Protection there's no workaround for that.

KittyEckersley · 26/11/2025 08:52

For the benefits scenario, your brother must get benefits and would lose them if he received the inheritance. Once it was used up, he’d have to apply again. Maybe that’s why your dad wants you to have the money.

KittyEckersley · 26/11/2025 08:53

That doesn’t mean I think that you should do it or that it’s fair to put you in that position.

Otterdrunk · 26/11/2025 08:55

Completely unfair on you. It’s a discretionary trust that your father is wanting for your brother yet expects you to morph into a solicitor to save him the hassle & expense of setting one up. Don’t feel obligated or guilt tripped into it. Do not agree to receiving it & if he does leave it to you in his will to administer per his wishes, simply pay it straight back to your brother. If he blows it all it’s not your fault.

ProfessorRedshoeblueshoe · 26/11/2025 09:02

My parents set up a trust for my sibling. It is run by another sibling. It has not affected her benefits.

Beedeeoh · 26/11/2025 09:07

What will the will say? Will it state your dad's intentions or will it just leave the money to you or just to your brother?

If your father simply leaves the money to your brother in his will then you can't insist on having it in your account and dispersing it as your father wants. Your brother could rightly challenge this.

You can do a Deed of Variation after his death to transfer the money to your brother if it's been left to you.

What's your dad's rationale, is your brother likely to piss the money away? On the face of it it's controlling of your brother, I'd be pretty pissed off to receive an inheritance over time like this.

Anyway I would absolutely not be agreeing to do this, it just sounds like manipulation from beyond the grace.

houseofisms · 26/11/2025 11:57

If you ever needed to claim universal credit (no one expects to, i suddenly became a single mum and before had never claimed anything) if you have his money in your account then you wouldn’t be able to claim as over £6k in savings

BadgernTheGarden · 26/11/2025 12:04

Just keep your dad happy and agree with whatever he says and then give your brother his inheritance when the time comes. If he leaves £40k to each of you, you will have no say in what your brother does with his share anyway. If he leaves £80k to you, theoretically you can do what you like with it, but I would just give his share to your brother, get the will varied if there is one. You are not your brother's keeper.

DonicaLewinsky · 26/11/2025 12:07

I echo the posts saying this isn't a good idea, because there could come a time when your own income and assets are assessed to see if you qualify for state funded provision. For that reason I wouldn't be prepared to own anything that wasn't for me, iyswim. He'll just have to pay a solicitor.

Ariela · 26/11/2025 12:15

I'd just tell him you'll ONLY do it if it's set up properly as a trust.

Otterdrunk · 26/11/2025 14:03

The whole advantage of a discretionary trust is that it’s safe from means testing & can make provision for people who may not be able to manage money for a number of reasons. So their benefits will not be affected. It costs to set up & for a solicitor to administer through the duration of its use. Your father knows this but is doing the lazy & money saving thing of expecting you to do it instead.

MannequinsArePeopleToo · 26/11/2025 14:11

Otterdrunk · 26/11/2025 14:03

The whole advantage of a discretionary trust is that it’s safe from means testing & can make provision for people who may not be able to manage money for a number of reasons. So their benefits will not be affected. It costs to set up & for a solicitor to administer through the duration of its use. Your father knows this but is doing the lazy & money saving thing of expecting you to do it instead.

Agree. I have set up a discretionary trust with a letter of wishes. This is going to be administered by 2 of my DC with a solicitor, for my third DC. It wasn't cheap to do but I have the peace of mind I need.
Edit: OP I'd advise trying to persuade your dad to take legal advice for you both.

Original poster
wtftodo · 27/11/2025 15:24

Thank you all, this is v helpful. I had told him to do a discretionary trust but he says it's too expensive. I've said I'm not prepared to take the money otherwise. I will point out that a discretionary trust means my brother's benefits should be unaffected (if true).

Also, re a deed of variation - that is an option. I wonder whether I can set the trust up with the deed of variation? Or can I just arrange to hand it over.

And yes it is controlling... and messy... but he's not wrong that sibling will likely piss it away or even more likely, be exploited for it.

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