Are we all spending too much on kids’ extracurriculars?

[USleepDeprived]

I’ve been looking at our monthly spending and got a bit of a shock. My 7-year-old does swimming once a week, plus a football club after school. When you add the fees, shoes, kit, end-of-term things… it really adds up.
He loves both activities, but sometimes I wonder if I’m just signing him up because everyone else seems to be doing a million things. When I was a kid, we mostly just played outside and that was that.
Do you limit how many activities your kids do? Or do you just accept this is the norm now? I’m trying to find a balance between giving him fun experiences and not feeling like we’re constantly paying for the next club or class.
Would be interested to hear what others are doing and whether you’ve cut back without your kids feeling like they’re missing out.

I think swimming and football at this age is reasonable. My own DS at similar age did swimming, tennis and cubs. Yes swimming lessons do rack up costly but it’s a life skill and we paid for lessons as school weren’t giving him enough time to learn. As long as they are enjoying the activities I would carry on. Can you mitigate any costs for kit with combining it with Christmas or birthdays? Obviously depends on your number of kids how many activities you can fit in.

What your children want and will benefit from most is time with supportive caring adults, preferably their parents.

Can you afford it? Two activities seem reasonable. In my experience football is one of the more expensive ones due to all of the extras associated with it you could probably keep two activities but swap football for a cheaper option.

I don’t think swimming and football is unreasonable. Swimming is essential and tbh football is one of the cheaper activities. I wouldn’t stop either of those unless you are really struggling.

Looking back we spent far too much on dance, DD now plays football instead of dance (her choice, not financial) but the money we spent was ridiculous. Although he short stint as at cheer, was even more expensive.

Interesting. We’ve always found it cheaper. Probably depends on if you are paying one or the expensive ‘academies’ or the local grass roots team.

Swimming is expensive but its usually time limited.

Does he want to play football, and can you afford it?

I've always paid and paid for activities they want to do. To the point where I didn't buy myself any clothes or shoes for five years. I've never regretted it. It was always what they wanted. Some hobbies lasted years and years. Others a few terms. They had lots of unstructured time to play too. Now in their teens they really appreciate the opportunities they had.

We found football a cheap activity, but it was only played at grass roots level. My kids did loads of activities but over the years have whittled them down to 1 or 2- I’m glad we gave them the opportunity to try different things.

Football is the cheapest activity where I live. All the kids from poorer households do it. Don't know how the OP finds it expensive? You can get hand me downs/Vinted if clothing are too expensive. Here it's 100£ per year. In comparison with the sport my DS does: 300 £/ year. And that's just one session per week whereas football is atleast 2 plus games.

Horse riding is really expensive though so don't know how anyone without a 6 figure salary can affort it.

Two activities seems reasonable - some children will be doing a lot more, and swimming is a vital skill. My DD does swimming and an art class, but has previously done Brownies, then dance, then violin lessons at school.

The other thing to consider is that there won’t be that many other children ‘playing outside’ as there were in the 80s/ 90s, for various reasons (safety concerns, traffic, children in after school care as both parents work. This will depend on where you live, but even in the safe environment of a small village, most people wouldn’t let a seven year old out on their own. Organised activities are a way for children to get out and socialise, albeit in a more supervised manner.

My 5 year old dd does gymnastics and dancing, around £100 a month which I think is reasonable for extracurriculars. She’s love them and gets a lot out of them.

If you can afford it then its not too much, if you can't then it is.
DS is 7 as well and does a lot of activities (football, ice hockey, wrestling, circus school, multisports club, scouts, and apparently has just joined "snack club"), and it does cost a fair bit (though not as much as his big sister's one activity - volleyball) but I'm happy to pay because he enjoys them so much, though I wouldn't have been able to afford ice hockey if we couldn't borrow the gear from the club.
When he gets older he'll have to narrow it down but for now I'm glad he gets to try so many different things and gets decent exercise every day.

Mine did two activities at that age, unfortunately for my wallet one was music lessons, so expensive! I would have been able to retire by now if it weren’t for those, they start out as a 20 minute group lesson once a week and end up playing 3 instruments 45 minute private lessons per instrument, orchestra fees, choir fees, tour, petrol (lessons no longer at school) etc. At least one is a professional classical musician.

2 clubs seems reasonable to me, but depends if you can afford it. My kids have gone through cycles of things. When DD was 7 she was doing a few different things. She then wanted to stop most and have more time at home. She is now back to doing 3 clubs (although one is a music lesson within the school day).

DS has gradually started more and now does 4 things. 2 are clubs after school and then swimming and gymnastics out of school. The swimming is a new addition and very expensive but I feel necessary. (We tried to teach him ourselves but didn't get far.)

We haven't found too much outlay to the clubs they do. Football at school is just a case of bringing your trainers and shorts and t-shirt. I did buy DD a very expensive leotard and tracksuit for a competition, but she is still wearing the 3 years later, which makes them more worth it.

Swimming has been expensive for us (£80pm due to needing v small classes) but it’s one I would 100% make sure I do for my children. It’s a life skill. Other stuff is nice but if you can’t afford it then I can understand why it drops off.

If you can afford it then 2 activities isn't overdoing it imo, especially when one is a life skill for safety.

However, there are ways to do it cheaper, so second hand boots and kit, we do that

That sounds like the very basics tbh. Swimming is essential and I think doing a team sport of some sort is also really important. And having at least some football skills can really help socially - my son doesn't play for a team any more but often goes for a kick about

At 7 I think our boys did cubs, football and swimming plus sailing/tennis lessons in the holidays

DD on the other hand really does cost a fortune as she signs up for every dance class going and then shows and exams and multiple types of shoes. I might as well just get my salary sent straight to her dance teacher

Football is absolutely one of the cheaper ones. Do not recommend ice skating or horse riding. I spend about £800 a month for 2.

My

My 5 year old does swimming once a week 50 weeks a year, football term time only and squirrels (scouts) term time only. During term time it's £100 a month

The other costs I'd possibly say depends on what you are buying. We got football kit, socks and shin pads for less than £30 by shopping around. We still need to get some astro turf boots. Swimming costume swimming was £8. Scouts jumper was £4 on sale and the t shirt £15 - both in a size that will last until she goes up to beavers when she's 6

When I was a child, all the kids in the area played out all the time. There was always someone to play with, and if you went out and couldn't find anybody you just went knocking on your friends' doors till you found an available chum.

Doesn't happen now. Kids don't play out. Which is maybe why so many people pay for activities for their dc - they wouldn't see anybody otherwise.

Exactly this. And I would happily have let my children play out if cars weren't so big and so fast .
It's easy to blame parents rather than the living environment for changes in childhood