Unhappy that DH did this

[Cherryfall]

Hi

last month we needed £500 fairly urgently and quickly. I won’t go in to the details but it was an unexpected expense that we had to deal with quickly. At the moment we don’t have any savings although that is something that we are going to start working on soon. DH helps his mum with her finances and has access to her bank account, etc online. She has always told him that she’s happy for him to borrow from her as long as he goes back. She has quite a lot of money in savings as she downsized her property a few years ago. She has some health issues and he helps with her banking and bills and so on.

He transferred the £500 from her account into his and paid the bill. A week later when he got paid for a job, he transferred the £500 back into his mum’s account.

I am uncomfortable with this and don’t feel it right. He thinks I’m making a fuss over nothing as she has always said that she doesn’t mind lending him the money and he paid it back in a week later. He didn’t discuss it with her as she would’ve worried and would probably have offered to give us the money without it having to be paid back.

Not sure how I feel about it all

What would've happened if he hadn't been able to get the money?

I understand how you feel, but I also understand how the DH feels. My Mum would be fine with me borrowing the money but she'd worry herself sick that I needed to then would wind herself up into a stare worrying we weren't paying bills/eating & gid knows what else. You might not understand if you don't have a parent who is a dreadful worrier, but it's a kindness not to make them worry, especially over something you absolutely know they'd be fine with.

yes that is a reasonable moral position, but why has she given you the ability to take money from her account in the first place without her involvement in the withdrawal. That is where it unravels IMO

OP said her MIL was happy to lend money so long as it was paid back. She didn’t say he could help himself without asking. I wouldn’t like that at all. There is something very discourteous about it even though it was repaid quickly

It doesn't actually 'unravel' in my situation, but I don't want to post it on here. Sorry. I know it's unusual but that doesn't mean it's wrong in my case or maybe the DH's, even if it sounds 'off'' to other people. I'd probably think so too if I wasn't in this situation.

what does seem odd is the OP not knowing her DH & MIL enough to know it's ok ( or not)

I assume he has power of attorney, if he is able to access her bank accounts directly?

OP has conspicuously not answered that