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Original poster

Money anxious DH driving me mad

17 replies

Blisteredbunny · 06/10/2025 16:53

Hi, my DH is driving me insane at the moment. He has become really anxious about money and our budget. No, I wouldn’t normally have an issue with that but it is unnecessary and I feel like he has lost touch with reality. For the last 18 months we have been renovating our house. Thankfully all of the big stuff is done now and we are just in the process of finishing off the last things. Most of our money has gone into this over the last 18 months so our savings are lower than we would like them to be, however this was always the lplan and we have a home now that we love.

The issue I have is that DH is now in a constant state of panic over was running out of money. No, this isn’t a stealth boast I promise you, however if I take our current situation as a good example of why I don’t get it. We both get paid again on the 25th of October which I think is two weeks on Friday so we’ve got about 18 days to go. we currently have about £2100 left in our bank account from last months wages. All of our mortgage and bills are paid and out of this we just need to buy food for us and our two teenagers for the next couple of weeks and we also need to pay off a small balance on the weekend that we have booked. I estimate but these two things will settle us back about £600 so we will still have about £1500 left from last months wages.

I guess that I’m just not getting why DH feels if there’s any issue when it’s halfway to payday and we have over £2000 left. Am I being harsh on him?

OP posts:
Timeforabiscuit · 06/10/2025 16:56

I think you are being a bit harsh if you don't have any other financial cushion or savings to fall back on, also winter seems to come with at least one large unexpected bill!

flipent · 06/10/2025 17:00

If £2100 is the total amount of money you have to your name, then I would be pretty anxious too.
If that's just disposable and you have savings / investments / pensions then I wouldn't be.

Jellybunny56 · 06/10/2025 17:07

flipent · 06/10/2025 17:00

If £2100 is the total amount of money you have to your name, then I would be pretty anxious too.
If that's just disposable and you have savings / investments / pensions then I wouldn't be.

This.

But also it depends how much you’re used to having really. If you’re used to seeing £10,000 in savings and having £3000 in your bank account at any given time then anything less than that can make you panic because while it is still “enough” and far from being penniless, it is less than you’re used to seeing.

I felt like your DH during my maternity leave despite the fact that my husband & I did objectively have plenty of money, savings etc and weren’t struggling financially I did feel more worried about finances because what was coming in was less than I was used to.

DeedlessIndeed · 07/10/2025 12:29

Does that include your safety net? What happens if someone losses their job.

I would be a bit panicky if I didn't have enough to cover the mortgage and bills for a few months. And I'd be really tight on discretionary spending until that pot could cover 3 months wages at a minimum.

So, I sympathise with DH.

MyMilchick · 07/10/2025 12:36

Christ everyone in this thread must be loaded, I'd be delighted if I had that much money left over after bills are paid!

Nevertriedcaviar · 07/10/2025 12:37

I would worry if I had a mortgage, and £2000 in the bank as savings.

Counting on being paid in a couple of weeks does seem like living hand to mouth, so I think your DH is right to be anxious.

What do you do if you have an unexpected big bill?You need to rein in the spending for a few months (apart from necessities) and see if you can get your savings up to about £5000. Then your DH might relax a bit.

Boomer55 · 07/10/2025 17:06

I’d be a bit worried as well. You’ve got no safety net and life can change in a heartbeat.🤷‍♀️

GameOfJones · 07/10/2025 17:18

Is that all the money you have? Or do you have other money in savings accounts? DH and I like to keep an absolute minimum of £5k in easy access savings in case a sudden large bill hit or if one of us lost our jobs we could cover the mortgage and other bills for three months. I would feel pretty anxious without that safety net. When DH was made redundant and I was on maternity leave it was a massive relief to have so I can understand where your DH is coming from if you don't have any other savings.

If you happen to have tens of thousands of pounds in savings accounts or premium bonds then I agree he's worrying for nothing.

Skybluepinky · 07/10/2025 18:45

You have the issue not him!

Twodogsisbetterthanone · 07/10/2025 18:48

You must all be loaded! I have £0 in the savings account right now and we have the MOT and a vet visit looming on the horizon. I will start adding to the savings again the month after. Need to get it back up to £10k again next year ready for a house move. I’m past being anxious about it now.

AgnesX · 07/10/2025 18:50

Do you have any other savings?

Original poster
Blisteredbunny · 07/10/2025 21:03

Hi everyone,

thanks for posts. Yes, we do have other savings. We have about £7000 in savings which doesn’t include this £2000. We also have a pot for car repairs/costs and Christmas which currently has £1200 on it,

OP posts:
Pepperedpickles · 07/10/2025 21:24

MyMilchick · 07/10/2025 12:36

Christ everyone in this thread must be loaded, I'd be delighted if I had that much money left over after bills are paid!

Edited

Same!

We live in our overdraft every month. We aren’t even worried about it, we don’t have a mortgage (own outright) and everything is paid for, we just over spend really. At some point we will tackle it.

ilovepixie · 07/10/2025 21:29

I live month to month. I get paid about 1400 a month. I hardly have any left for savings after everything is paid!

Mum2Fergus · 08/10/2025 15:28

Is he aware of any impending changes that you don’t know about perhaps? Is his job safe? Big tax bill due?

dontmalbeconme · 08/10/2025 15:57

Blisteredbunny · 07/10/2025 21:03

Hi everyone,

thanks for posts. Yes, we do have other savings. We have about £7000 in savings which doesn’t include this £2000. We also have a pot for car repairs/costs and Christmas which currently has £1200 on it,

Since you have teenagers, I'm guessing you're of an age where you're well established in your careers etc, and that amount of savings is pretty low for that stage of life. The boiler going, plus the car needing repairs or even replacement could wipe you out. And you have 2 teens. What are your plans for the parental contributions for Uni (approx £6k per child per year if you're both average earners) or driving lessons etc?

Its lovely that you've got your beautiful house, but you're not in a great financial position, and I'd be wanting to focus on putting as much as I could away in your position. Id be worried tbh.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 08/10/2025 15:57

So you've got around £9k to your name, and are continuing to spend (albeit smaller amounts) on doing up the house. In itself not necessarily an issue if you have £1,500 spare at the end of the month, though it depends how long the...oh lets just get this for the house, and do this etc etc goes on. It also depends how many months living costs £9k covers...if you can live on £1,500 a month I suspect it'd be tolerable. If you spend £5k a month then I wouldn't be that comfortable - that's less than a 2 month buffer to your name!

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