Asking ex to be guarantor on mortgage - issues?

[Sofabodatgym]

Anyone with any experience or advice on getting a guarantor for mortgage would be really appreciated, thanks. Then paying interest only. My ds state school is in an expensive area. And ex has moved further out so I feel pressure (from ds not school I add) to buy in the catchment area so he doesn't have a long commute. I could afford somewhere small and a bit grim near school, (ex has been really unsupportive of this when I put an offer in on a rundown flat) or afford somewhere much nicer but a commute for ds(ex has also been unsupportive of this, when I found somewhere).
One solution is for ex to lend me money for a few years, for somewhere I like but in this expensive area, then I sell. (when ds leaves home) - sadly, his new partner doesn't want this - even though she owns a big house and they are stable financially together. Another solution is for him to be a guarantor, as my wage is quite low last few years (I focused on parenting and myself) but I'm self-employed so I could earn more to pay a mortgage for somewhere nicer, but sadly can't prove this to an advisor. Ex is ok with this but only up to a small amount which doesn't make that much difference. But it still may be what I do.

But do they base mortgage on his (substantial) wage or (substantial) savings? OR my small one? I have no savings, but will have money on sale of current property, just not enough for somewhere nice in this area. We were not married.

Sorry OP but overcommitting yourself financially to solve this problem sounds like a very stupid idea.
Financially meshing yourself with your ex sounds utterly foolish imo.
If he’s that well off, will he consider upping the child support he will give so that you can provide suitable accommodation for his child?

Is he actually happy to do this? Because there is not a chance in hell I would do this for someone, except possibly my own child.

Do you have a shared property with your ex? Where are you now? Could you stay where you are and sell the property when ds leavs school/ reaches 18. Were you married?

Guarantor mortgages now are very very very rare

and has to be a relative not an ex or friend

sadly, his new partner doesn't want this -

too right

Don’t waste a minute thinking about the plan op

very unlikely youd find a guarantor backed mortgage these days and if you do…. They won’t permit an ex to be the guarantor

so move on from that idea

Exactly. What do you mean my wage is quite low last few years (I focused on parenting and myself)
How old is ds, can you earn more just not in your dream job? Are you working full time?

I'd say buy what you can afford. The commute for DS sounds like the best idea so far, plenty DC do this. DS cannot dictate where you live if your finances don't allow. Could you get a lump sum from your ex then stop CM, with a caveat it matches the amount he'd pay if his income changes?

You need to untangle yourself from your ex, not enmesh further by asking him to do this. How does he even know what housing choices you are considering? None of his business and you don't need his input. If you say it's because of your DS - doesn't sound like your ex cared about that when he moved out of the area. Do what works for you, what you can afford, and what you believe suits your DS.

Given he’s 15/16 OP…. He might not even be at this school for long if he leaves after GCSE. And even if he stays for sixth form.,, that’s only another couple of years

Interestingly the op started another thread about wanting to move to get away from her neighbours and thinking her DS should be amenable to moving further away.

no mention of ex

Your ex would be a fool to do this. Are you certain he knows what you have in mind and has agreed to it?

What would you do if ex changed his mind months after you buy?

If he’s 15/16 then could it be cheaper to rent out your current home and rent another property in catchment? Buying homes is expensive (stamp duty etc) so is it worth buying just for the sake of 2 or 3 years ?

Also why are you sharing your house purchases with your ex? You’re separated so it should be a case of “This is my new address” rather than discussing the possibility of buying with him. He has a wealthy partner so has the luxury of being picky.

I think it’s quite something for your DS and your ex to have a man opinion about what you can or can’t buy given neither of them will be paying for it.

In your shoes I’d work out what I can raise (funds from your former home, current home and income from work), see what settlement your ex will agree (possibly a lump sum in lieu of ongoing maintenance) and see what that will buy. Then make steps to find a new property without consulting your ex, your DS gets an opinion but only so far as you can afford to accommodate his wants, and you’re ok with what he wants. Children don’t get to make adult decisions.

Entering in to an arrangement that ties you to your ex is a very bad idea - he may be amicable now but that will change as both your lives move on and you need to be able to move on unencumbered by financial ties to an old relationship.

It’s time to say you’ve focussed on parenting and on yourself, but now you need a new focus that provides you with a roof over your head. You need to maximise the income you can bring in which means full time work of some kind, possibly with a side hustle. Yes it’s a change but you’ll be ok.

There are a few banks offering guarantor mortgages now. NatWest are launching one called a family mortgage. You need something called a joint borrower, sole proprietor mortgage and you’d be better going with a family member if any can help.

the thing is the guarantor is liable for the whole mortgage if you fail to pay and you’ll need their affordability plus yours to work out the borrowing.