Is this legal? Elderly dad buying house

[BarbaraVineFan]

My elderly dad is widowed and currently lives about an hour and a half away from me and DD in his house, which he owns outright. Due to personal circumstances, I have never bought a house and currently rent. Recently Dad and I have been discussing the possibility of his selling his house and buying one in the town where DD and I currently live, and for us all to live there together. Is this possible , or is there anything dodgy about it financially or legally- for example, if my dad passes away soon after we all move in together?

I could be wrong, so check this, but I think there may be an exemption to the need to sell your house for care home fees if a person under the age of 18 lives there and it's their home. (your child). This may be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your point of view. Good because it preserves the asset for your family, bad because it could remove choice from your father if he isn't self funding.

Which part of she’s asking this question because she doesn’t know the implications is causing you the incomprehension?

The bit where she asks if living with family is illegal.
Which part of my question is "causing you the incomprehension" (sic)

I will also be working and not paying a mortgage. So a large proportion of my salary can be put into the savings pot for care.

This is interesting- thank you. I will look into it

Yes but there are allowances for the real property that mean homeowners can leave £1 million free of IHT.

You’re being very naive about how care needs can change drastically as people get older. I understand that everyone likes to think we all die peacefully in our sleep but you do have to plan for the worst case scenario.

Putting it bluntly, there’s no point moving in with your dad if you’re only going to have to move back out again in the future. Despite what you say, it would be devastating to have to go back to renting. What if you can’t find anything in the area you live in and your child has to change schools? You need to think practically. Put all your feelings aside and work out what is the best outcome for you, your dad and your daughter before you go ahead with this plan.

Look at it from all angles. What happens if you meet someone and want to get married? What happens if your dad gets dementia? Stop with the ‘I only want what’s best for my dad’ and start thinking about what’s best for all of you. Yes, your dad is offering you a home but this has to work financially for both of you and within the law. You need a solicitor to help you decide how best to set this up so that neither of you are left without a home or care in the future.

I think if he’s buying outright it’ll be fine. My dad and brother got a joint mortgage when my dad was late 60s and they would only lend for a short period of time because of his age (I think it was 5 or 10 years)

I think some people are being a bit pessimistic. The majority of people don't end up in a care home. And it's a sad state of society if we all end up living alone in our little boxes, rather than with people who could make us happy just in case of some need in the future that might not happen.

Check the situation regarding your child. If there is no danger of the house being sold for care while she is still in education, I wouldn't worry too much about it. If it would make you and your dad happy, do it, just ensure you can be self sufficient if necessary.

If you meet someone and want to get married, there is nothing to stop you moving out again.

I'm saying this kindly but please don't say 'packing him off to a care home '.
You won't ever know, I hope, the anguish and heartbreak involved in this decision..
I know you didn't mean it but please be careful in your words..

I agree
Elderly people who need care don't all turn into a sweet od Dear who spends most of their time in one place and just need a bit of help
They can turn into aggressive and dangerous people who are incontinent, leave the gas on and wander off if not watched 24/7 and who need an ambulance to be called daily when they fall and are too heavy to be lifted back up safely
Hopefully not in OP's dads case, but some people NEED to be in a care home for everyones safety

You really need to buy a house with an accessible shower/bedroom downstairs. Stairlifts only work for some people. If you can’t get up from a chair safely or have dementia and can’t use it safely then the only option is to bring your bed downstairs.

I apologize- that was a bad choice of words.

Oh, sarcasm to an OP genuinely asking a question you think is silly and grammar pedantry to a poster pointing it out. You could charge by the hour.

OP - it might be worth getting legal advice on how to structure this situation, just so you’re clear on the implications.

That would only leave enough for about two years worth of care fees.

Your dad can have whoever he likes live in a house he owns and he doesn't have to charge rent if he doesn't want to.

You may have heard of people charging rent to family members for inheritance tax reasons, but this is in situations where e.g. parents sign over a house to their child. To prove it's a genuine gift for inheritance tax purposes, they then have to pay market rent to the child if they want to continue living there. IDK if this dodge would also work for care home fees, as they have different criteria, but if you father retains ownership of the house it isn't relevant to you anyway.

If I were you and I were confident you'd get along well and enjoy living together, I would accept his offer and move in, but use the opportunity to save for my future, so that in the event that care home fees used up all your inheritance, you could afford to buy a small place for yourself or at least put a substantial deposit down on a rental to make you an attractive tenant in future.

Don't use your own money for care that your father or the state could fund, as you can't assume the state will look after you if you are homeless once he dies.

You need specialist advice not a load of random strangers - especially when you didn't give all the facts in your OP! There are specialist FB groups that cover such matters and they often have qualified people as admins (who may also seek business through the group, but often give free general advice on the page).

Both my mum and my aunt have/had dementia. My mum needed full time care for 6 years before her death. my aunt has been in nursing care for 4 years so far... maybe not loads of people, but it's not that uncommon.

But he has other assets and presumably pensions and would be able to fund for much more than two years. In the midst of this with elderly relative. Good advice from a financial advisor makes a big difference.

Make
sure it is joint names now as if he needs care the local authority may want it sold to pay for the care. But check all this first with a solicitor if he is leaving it to you in his will anyway try and sort things out now.

Yeah, you're probably right. Good luck with your own situation with your family member x

I totally agree.. after our family nearly emploded trying to care for our beautiful wonderful mum who was rapidly declining with Alzheimer's, a friend said 'I'd never put my Mum in a home'. That one statement can still reduce me to tears.
She had absolutely no idea..

Thank you.. I'm probably very sensitive to this as it was of the hardest decisions ever made for our family.

Seek advice from your accountant.
You need to make sure you and your Dad are securing DF assets for him long term and for you and your DD once he passes away.
It might make sense to buy the house in joint names. Would you be in a position to pay into a mortgage - a similar amount as your rent, Op?

Don’t do it. You could end up trapped if his care needs escalate unexpectedly. Always better to maintain your own establishments IMO. What if you want to cohabit with a partner? Dynamics change when you’re living with someone and have your own child.