Divorce and custody

[Toriajane]

Some years ago my sister said she had been abused by my stepfather, she didn't want to report it and she didn't want my mother to know.

My ex husband is now threatening to report it in order to gain custody of our two children.

Where do I stand?

And how exactly does he think that will help his case? Is he worried that you let your children spend time unsupervised with your stepfather?

as long as since you have known you have not allowed unsupervised contact then there is no problem, it is her choice about what to do about it. She and you could always deny it if she didn't want to say.

He can say whatever he likes, maybe you can make up some stories too

not actually suggesting you do though.

Good luck, sorry he's such a twat.

I'm concerned about the impact this would have on the whole family, on my sisters, on my mother and on my own two. I just don't understand what he thinks he will gain from it. He has told my daughter he wants to take them to live with his family in Australia and he will pull out all the stops to get custody. I left him because of his temper and his drugs habit - we were married for 14 years before I gave up trying to fix things. He has since given up the drugs but I moved out of our council house because he threatened to report this and I have ended up living with my parents and struggling to find a house of my own, I feel as if I can't move on because he has this hold over me.

So do you let your stepfather have access to your child? Unsupervised access? Because if you do, then I kind of see his point. why did you move out of your council house? I don't understand.

No I never let him have access on his own to the children, I moved out because my Ex said if I didn't he would report my stepfather

So your ex forces you to move out by threatening to report your step-father for child abuse - knowing that the only place you could go is to your parents' home. Bizarre behaviour for someone who wants to protect his children.

I don't think anyone will take any notice of him if the alleged victim isn't prepared to report it.

Thankyou all for the support and advice, its such a difficult time and I thought by separating rom him I could make the bad things go away.