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Original poster

inheritance - what's fair, what's right?

426 replies

ForGladOtter · 30/07/2025 12:11

Hypothetical (not really) situation and I just would like others' take on it:

Two siblings inherit their parents' property which is now for sale. Sibling A is married with two children and is comfortably off. Sibling B is married with one child and is less financially well off. Sibling A would like the proceeds of the sale to be split three ways between the grandchildren. Sibling B would prefer a 50/50 split with the sibling. Sibling A thinks Sibling B is depriving the grandchildren of an equal share. Sibling B feels they are having to give up some their entitlement in favour of Sibling A's children. (Sibling B feels they also have more need of the financial windfall than Sibling A. It is acknowledged that their own circumstance is not the responsibility of the other. But it does feed into how they feel about the request for the 3-way split).

I would love to hear others' thoughts on this.

OP posts:
Iamnotalemming · 30/07/2025 13:49

50/50 between the siblings surely? If it's owned jointly by them, that's it. It's up to each sibling what they do with the proceeds, whether their share goes straight to GC or on a cruise, but one sibling can't dictate to the other.

PaddlingSwan · 30/07/2025 13:50

If I have understood this correctly, the property has already been assigned to the siblings, jointly, but neither of them lives in it?
I would take advice on any potential capital gains tax due, but agree that the proceeds should be split 50/50.

Quirkswork · 30/07/2025 13:52

50/50 and sibling B can spend the whole lot on sweets if they want as it's their money.

Sibling A is being outrageous. Some people are absolute fruitcakes about other people's money!

Oh hang on I hadn't read the whole thread. It's not been inherited yet. 50/50 all the way between siblings. You never know who needs money in the future for things like medical expenses.

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 30/07/2025 13:53

We have just had this.

Myself and my brother have just inherited my parents property and estate, it is a 50/50 split between us as siblings.

My parents always told us about this so we always knew that this was their wishes. My parents also told me that although I will inherit half of everything they would really like me to pass some of my half down to their grandchildren, they left it for me to make the decision how much they would get, which I have done.

I have 2 children, my brother has none so his half will be all his own.

I think this is fair. My life choice to have children, so anything they get comes out of my share. My brother chose not to have children so why should his share be smaller to accommodate my life choice?

My parents were always of the mind that, although they wanted the grandchildren to have some, that one day they will inherit themselves from my DH and I. That this was MY inheritance, their time will come.

I think we all agreed with this, and that this was the fairest way round to do things for everyone.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 30/07/2025 13:53

It doesn't matter what's fair or beneficiaries opinions. A will is a legal document and without a deed of variation cannot not be changed

CoachNot · 30/07/2025 13:54

50/50

CoastalCalm · 30/07/2025 13:54

Bet A wouldn’t argue this way if they were the one with less children ! It should be 50/50 regardless of children or financial situation if that’s what the will states

VickyEadieofThigh · 30/07/2025 13:55

Hatty65 · 30/07/2025 12:13

It's been divided equally between the siblings. If Sibling A wants to divide their share between their own kids, that's their choice.

Sibling B should not get a 1/3 of the estate instead of half. That's ridiculous. A is hugely entitled.

This - the parents made their will and each sibling gets 50%. Each is then entitled to disburse it to their own child/children if they wish to but Sibling A has no right whatsoever to demand this.

CoastalCalm · 30/07/2025 13:55

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 30/07/2025 13:53

It doesn't matter what's fair or beneficiaries opinions. A will is a legal document and without a deed of variation cannot not be changed

It’s pretty easy to do a variation though , but morally contentious

Blank1234 · 30/07/2025 13:56

No thoughts needed. Legally the split is equal between A and B. What each then does with their share is their business.

NewsdeskJC · 30/07/2025 13:57

If the parents have left it equally there is no question.

Spanador · 30/07/2025 13:57

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 30/07/2025 13:53

It doesn't matter what's fair or beneficiaries opinions. A will is a legal document and without a deed of variation cannot not be changed

There is no will or beneficiaries. The parent is still alive and has signed the house over

Quirkswork · 30/07/2025 13:57

CoastalCalm · 30/07/2025 13:55

It’s pretty easy to do a variation though , but morally contentious

Show quote history

If a beneficiary is under 18 though they can't give consent to a reduction in their share.

Catsandcannedbeans · 30/07/2025 13:58

Split between the siblings. Personally I would go further and give the one who is not financially stable more money, that’s how it will be when my mum and dad die, but I know that often causes issues in other families.

CastleCrasher · 30/07/2025 13:59

No will, ok. But if property is given "to the siblings" then that's what it is. If given "to the grandchildren" that's different.

Does the sibling with two children actually intend to put the house/ money in the children's names, or just take two thirds with a vague promise of sorting out the children at a later date? My money is on the former.

Perhaps sibling two should announce a twin pregnancy, see if the suggested split changes then (I'm joking!)

(Edited for typos)

mummytrex · 30/07/2025 14:00

MorrisZapp · 30/07/2025 12:15

If there's a will, split accordingly. If intestate, it splits at the closest living class of kin, so 50 50 between the two siblings. The grandchildren are irrelevant.

Agree with this.

DiscontinuedModelHusband · 30/07/2025 14:00

Sibling A is missing the fact that it is highly unlikely that Sibling B's child will inherit all of Sibling B's 50%, and that it's more likely they'll inherit half of Sibling B's 50%.

Which works out at 25%, which coincidentally would be the same as Sibling A's children...

Original poster
ForGladOtter · 30/07/2025 14:01

To everyone getting their knickers in a twist over my choice of words, i am NOT looking what's correct in the eyes of the law. I'm looking for opinions on whether Sibling 1 is being fair in their request or not.
I could and probaly should have posted this in the AIBU thread but it gets more traffic and I didn't want to risk it being read by anyone involved and feathers being ruffled more than they already are.
Everyone saying Sibling A is being a bit grabby is what I need to hear. And there is no point asking the living parent as they will 100% say "do what you think is best" and leave it to the siblings to decide.

OP posts:
Tiswa · 30/07/2025 14:04

Sibling A is being more than a bit grabby! Having more children than a sibling does not entitle you to more of the estate

DH’s Dad died and SIL has no children ans she received 50% becuase she should receive 50% and what she does with that money is up to her! Personally I would rather she left her husband and spent the money on herself

Whistlingformysupper · 30/07/2025 14:05

ForGladOtter · 30/07/2025 12:34

"Inherit" was probably the wrong term to use. Ownership of the property was transferred to the siblings. One parent is still alive but living elsewhere and has no will. This parent does not tend to make thought-out or firm decisions as she just likes to "keep everyone happy".

Yes so ownership was transferred to the siblings - not the grandchildren.
The parents wanted their own children to benefit equally from this, not their grandchildren.

Just as you (and you are blates wife /husband of one of the siblings) want your children to have equal inheritance the parents of these siblings likely did too.

Splitting the value equally between grandchildren is effectively giving sibling A twice the inheritance purely because they chose to have an additional child. Defo not fair.

The money must be split equally between the two other siblings.

Mosaic123 · 30/07/2025 14:06

50/50 is the right thing to do.

EastGrinstead · 30/07/2025 14:06

Perhaps sibling two should announce a twin pregnancy, see if the suggested split changes then (I'm joking!)

😂

Zeborah · 30/07/2025 14:09

Split between siblings is fair

ReservationDogs · 30/07/2025 14:09

Sibling A can do what they like with their 50% and top it up if they feel its required.

Sibling B should take their 50% and burn it in front of Sibling A while dancing at midnight screaming fuck off at the top of their voice (only a little tongue in cheek)

myheadsjustmush · 30/07/2025 14:10

Sibling A is being extremely grabby.

It should be a 50/50 split between the siblings - then if A wants to share their half with their two children, that's fine.

It is totally unfair of A to demand it is split between the grandchildren; she has two and B only has one!

A is a self centred CF!

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