Relationship over but he refuses to leave

[Trinab75]

Further to my last thread-herewww.mumsnet.com/Talk/2230/529538

I have now got my mortgage offer through and I have offered my ex the £6000 on completion which relates to his share of the trust agreement.

He has said he will not leave for less than £10,000, which is completely unrealistic,as nothing has been done with the house since we moved in to gain any value.

I am so frustrated as this past 2 years has been unbearable.I was at rock bottom at this time last year, but I have kept up with my studies, worked really hard for a better job, regained my self esteem and now I have picked myself up enough to be able to escape this miserable situation-he simply will not leave and resorts to his usual name calling and hostility everytime I try to reason with him.Then pretends everything is fine the next day asking if I am out of my bad mood and what we are having for tea.

I know I should seek legal advice and that there is probably noone with the answers to my problem, but I needed to vent my frustration after very little sleep.

I hope you are not sharing meals with him. You need to lead completely separate lives otherwise you are giving mixed signals and, quite frankly, why should he leave a home where he has his meals cooked for him, etc.?

If he won't leave with the £6K you have offered him, you will have little choice but to apply to the courts for an order for sale, which will eat into any equity you have. He, therefore, will come out with less than the £6K. Have you had the house valued again recently? In light of falling house prices, you should have it revalued (by 3 separate agents) and then show him that the value is falling and in fact the £6K is probably more than he'd get if the house were to be sold.

When he agreed to the £6K, did he sign anything?

Hi Freckle,

Yes I can see your point regarding the meals, but it so difficult as I want to keep some normality in place for my 7 year old,I feel I am not giving mixed signals for example I am taking the children away on a planned family break alone this weekend, but still I will bear in mind your points.

I am having the house revalued tomorrow, as I too am hoping it will prove to him it is in his best interest to settle before the value decreases further.

He didnt ever agree to the 6k as such, that has come about as the result of a tenants in common/deed of trust, signed agreement before the house purchase-stating I would recieve 25k of my deposit back before the remaining equity being shared out equally after fees, I plan to review the exact amount following the revaluation tomorrow.

Then if we still can't reach an agreement-as you say I will have no choice but to go down the route of seeking a court order etc..

Thanks for your input,I will take it on board and get some more agents booked in for next week and perhaps start having meals planned around him not being here when possible.

We have just spoken again and he has said he will take no offers below 10k despite any valuations and will appeal the deed of trust due to me being unable to make payments into the mortgage account whilst I was on maternity leave with his child! to try and get more money out of the deposit I put down.
I am so scared of loosing the house and having to put the kids through any more, but I am unable to see a solicitor until next week due to my holiday with the kids.
Does anybody know if he could do this?

Then I think it is time for you to live completely separate lives - no cooking, cleaning, etc. for him. He can certainly appeal the trust deed, but his chances of success are pretty low and he would have to pay the costs. Just let him stew and see your solicitor next week.

Try to keep as relaxed as possible and enjoy your holiday.

Your ex will have to pay if he wants to appeal anything, so just let your solicitor (or whoever is dealing with everything) know what is coming, and try to get on with things. The chances are once he realises that he will not get any more money from any route other than taking your offer of £6k, he will give up.

I completely agree with leading as seperate life as possible from him, seperate food shopping, seperate everything. I know you want to be normal for the kids, but it's got to be more confusing for them not knowing whether you're together or not (family meals etc) than just to have a totally seperate life.

Oh, and based on what you say, I think any solicitor he speaks to about appealing the deed of trust will probably laugh at him and tell him to forget it. Doesn't sound like he has a chance of appealing it, as the only time you have failed to make payments into account was when you were carrying out the rather more important task of bringing up his baby - anyone judging on this would look v favourably on you probably.