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Original poster

Request loan of £10,000

16 replies

Twinkeeyes · 27/07/2025 21:24

Hi
six years ago I inherited £100.000 from my mother’s estate
I paid off all my debts and bills
I have never had this much money before

I spent a lot on friends and gave to charity
At the time a friend of mine with a young family asked if I could give them some money for outstanding credit card of £3,000 which I did
over the years they have had at least £10.000 from me
I am now a retired older person and financially struggling As I have no income or savings
would I be within my rights to request some of the money I have helped them with

OP posts:
Toomanywaterbottles · 27/07/2025 21:27

No. You gave them the money. It wasn’t a loan, so you have no rights. But you could ask them, just as they asked you - but they’re under no obligation.

ZoggyStirdust · 27/07/2025 21:34

This may feel a bit harsh but you’ve spent 100k in 6 years and are now struggling? That should have set you up?

how much where your debts? What did the rest go on?

Dunnocantthinkofone · 27/07/2025 21:34

Sorry but you’ve frittered away £100K and not bothered to save appropriately from it for your old age
You were very generous but no, the fact that you were financially irresponsible previously to give it when you couldn’t afford to doesn’t obligate them now I’m afraid
Unless it was a loan that they haven’t repaid?

cestlavielife · 27/07/2025 21:37

You were a bit foolish to spend and give it away to "friends".
When you knew in six years you would be retired.
But
What is done is done.

Can you rent out a room to a lodger?

BleachedJumper · 27/07/2025 21:37

When you gave this friend money, was it in writing as a loan?

mondaytosunday · 27/07/2025 21:41

No. You gave them the money - seems they needed it and I bet they don’t have any now to give back.
Basically you have managed it poorly - you should not have given so much away and invested/saved for now.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/07/2025 21:44

If you’re struggling it’s because you pissed a hundred grand up the wall when you could have planned well and had a comfortable retirement. A wonder how the person who left it to you would have felt about that.

You can ask them for money but not because you gave them yours in the past.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/07/2025 21:57

You could ask her to help you out with some cash if she has any spare. If she does have spare cash she would be a shit friend not to. However, you can't go back on a gift and ask
For it back , after she's spent it

Waterweight · 27/07/2025 21:59

Agree with others I would ask for help knowing that you would & have done it for others in the past but accept that they may not be in a position to or may view you as fine/uneeding just be default of having been the wealthy one at 1 point

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/07/2025 22:01

Kindly, OP, you’re a bloody idiot. Why on Earth would you fritter that money away that could have offered you a secure retirement? Why didn’t you at least put something into savings? I’m afraid you’ve only got yourself to blame and no you can’t ask for gifts back. I’m honestly astounded at the stupidity.

mylovedoesitgood · 27/07/2025 22:13

You willingly gave the money away so I think it’s wrong to ask for even a tiny fraction of it back, let alone the full £10k. If she’s a really good friend then maybe ask for a small amount for a bill.

As a PP said if you own your own home consider taking a lodger. And check you’re getting everything you’re entitled to. Can you get a part-time job?

What was it you wanted, if anything, when you gave all that money to her and other friends?

Pollqueen · 27/07/2025 22:15

Why on earth have you given friends the best part of 10 grand when so close to your retirement with no payment plan or agreement to get it back?

I'm sorry but there's being generous and then being absolutely bloody stupid

Steelworks · 27/07/2025 22:15

Was it a gift or loan? Did you expect them to pay it back? If you did, and they haven’t then you can ask them.

thepariscrimefiles · 28/07/2025 07:59

You have said that you have no income or savings. If you are retired, don't you have a work and/or state pension?

Unfortunately, you gave money away to friends and charities that you actually needed for your retirement. You can ask the friends that accepted £13,000 from you if they can give you any of this money back, but be prepared for them to say no.

Do you have any family that could help you?

AllotmentHappy · 28/07/2025 08:06

Why an earth did you give so much away knowing you had no money for retirement? Be prepared for them to say no.

LIZS · 28/07/2025 08:14

Steelworks · 27/07/2025 22:15

Was it a gift or loan? Did you expect them to pay it back? If you did, and they haven’t then you can ask them.

This. Ideally you had something in writing. However if you have not seen their spending habits or circumstances change any hope of repayment feels unlikely.

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