Marriage in the wrong parish,is it still legal?

[time4me]

We got married 26 years ago.The vicar told me just before the wedding that the church was in the wrong side of the parish for me.
He asked me to sign a form to say that I had been a regular attender at that church for 6 months.I had been a few times but not every week.It really upset and worried me.However the vicar was not prepared to tell me that the wedding was legal (even though it was his fault as he should have checked).
I did consult a solicitor who was lovely and told me that as it was a chuch and not a legal requirement it was legal.
However it still niggles me.I wrote to the Archbishop ( yes really )and he said that it was legal provided it was not challenged in the court,and a negative outcome would be rare.What does this mean,I still worry,and would love to resolve this.Please help,I even wonder whether I should remarry my husband!

It shouldn't be a problem- you may get married in any district. IIRC we had to give longer notice than the required 3 weeks I think- but not much longer, and we had to take a document from our register office to the one we were marrying at.
If the Archbishop is happy with it, then surely it isn't a problem.
I do think your vicar behaved a little oddly!
Hopefully a family law solicitor will come along soon!

Thats kind of you Each.What does IIRC stand for?The odd Vicar,who was extremely unkind,became a Bishop!I think he was annoyed he had been found out he was fallible! When my dh and I went to discuss getting married,he was very unpleasant and nasty,and made it obvious we were a nuisance to him.When we went to see the vicar in whose church we should have got married,he was lovely.Nobody seems (even the Archbishop!)to be able to say we are legally married,because of this irregularity,as the Archbishop put it.Any advice gratefully received,the reassurance would be lovely,or even to tell me I need,26 years later,to remarry my husband!

I really don't think it's a problem. Yes, 26 years ago you couldn't get married in any old parish, and in fact you still can't although the rules are more relaxed now. (Registrar's offices have different rules).

Having said that, who on earth is likely to challenge you? No-one will know now or care if you lived in that parish or had attended church there regularly. I really don't think it will ever be a problem. And if the vicar got you to sign a form, he was in the wrong.

The only reason no-one will give you a definite 'yes' or 'no' is that they daren't second guess what any court would say. But it really is most unlikely - the only way I could see it being a problem is if your husband decided to claim you had never really been married! But even then, if you could show that you were led to believe you were legally married, and still believed so, I'm not sure any court would rule against you.

Now, my problem is worse than yours - I was married abroad and there are a couple of reasons why we think it might not be legal, but again no-one is prepared to commit to an answer either way. We've been told it's 99.9% probable we are married, but the only way to prove it legally once and for all would be to get the High Court to declare it legal!

IIRC means If I Remember/Recall Correctly!
Your vicar sounds lovely
What was the reason for you getting married in his church if he was so horrid?
We chose a different register office to our own as our own is such an ugly concrete monstrosity, and the one we married at is a beautiful Arts and Crafts building.

Each that is exactly the reason,more beautiful church.AND no idea that there was a special requirement in parishes.The horrid vicar only rang me about 2 weeks before and by then I was too far in to change things,but I wish I had the courage to as I had a feeling this would always bother me.
My dh had a big health scare about 4 years ago and is still a bit rocky now,so thats why I keep coming back to this.When his dad died an acquaintance (female)got his house,contents,the lot because she claimed under Inheritance and Dependents Act 1972.She told a pack of lies,got the lot.So the technicalites get me plus I have OCD so this is the sort of thing that becomes an obsessive thought.
Eco you have no idea how much your letter comforted me(I know I am beginning to sound a bit of a nutter now,bear with me)Do you ever think,like I think,that if everything had been honky dory and it was the right church then we might not be as happy!

I don't know about that (right church) but I certainly subscribe to 'The bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage' theory! LOL
Everyone I know who had lavish weddings is divorced now, and everyone who was frugal or low-key have had long lasting successful marriages.

as long as the banns were read correctly it should be fine .

Thank you Lizs,yes they were read correctly so that is very helpful.

Thank you Lizs,yes they were read correctly so that is very helpful.I agree with you Each re:frothy wedddings.Look at Hello magazine!

Thank you Hana,it`s horrible having this niggling worry.I suppose the fact that I signed a form that said I had been a regular Church attender could be loosely interpreted,in that regular could be anything from 1 a week to 1 every 6 months.This is the crucial part that worries me.We did hear both mine and dhs banns read.
Anymore words of comfort is being so helpful,as said before I do have ocd (obsessive thoughts) so really appreciate your kindness.

Time4me thinking of you lots as you so obviously need clarity on this one.

When we married 15yrs ago we were in a weird position as my parish had a vicar who had retired and not been replaced. We were advised to visit local churches and choose one. Chose the biggest and most beautiful (shameless I know!) and approached the vicar, who said we might need a bishops note but transpired that as i attended church there for a few months we didn;t.

You have been married for a long time which is a tribute to a strong relationship. Whilst the technicalities might appear minor to some I can understand that to you it seems much more. Answers to your questions might not be easy to achieve and you may have to go with your gut feeling and accept that- if you feel really stongly why not book a registry office ceremony and turn it into a celelbration for such a long marriage.

My feeling on your position is that as you had the banns read correctly, signed a form and had a legal ceremony the chances of anything being raised are extremeley minimal and that you ARE MARRIED!!

Thank you very much sunny,but could I legally do this?ie get married for a second time in a register office to make certain I am legally married ? I have thought about doing this and others have suggested it too.
I have thought about it for peace of mind.
How much would it cost?On a positive note,I sure my 18 year old daughter would love to be our bridesmaid!

We too thought of doing just that, simply to ensure we were legal. We booked an appointment with a registrar but it was all a bit disappointing to be honest. She said we couldn't book another ceremony unless we knew for certain that our first ceremony wasn't recognised in this country, so she more or less sent us away to find out, which of course is the bit we've been struggling with! So actually she was no help at all.

I still feel however that you are almost certainly married in every legal sense.

Hi Eco,how long have you been married?
I wonder how many other couples are in our position.I am now thinking of asking a marital legal specialist advice,but suspect it will be the same answer.I`ve never been able to get closure on this.My dh is not worried.If you suffer from OCD (obsessive thoughts) then everything has to be in straight lines with no ambiguity.I will keep you informed,your messages have comforted me as its horrible to think you are the only one with this worry.(nobody else worries,and just says I am mad!)

Absolutely legal, PLEASE don't worry about it! The solicitor is quite right - the thing about getting married in your parish church is a church rule not a legal requirement, the marriage is valid so long as you went through the correct form of marriage, as shown by the registers being filled in and your marriage certificate. There isn't a shadow of doubt that the wedding is legal. You had to fill in the thing saying you'd been worshipping in that church for 6 months just to make the church paperwork neat (!), not to make your wedding valid.

And I can't believe that all my lessons on church law and marriage minutiae (I work in the church) have been useful on mumsnet!!! My life is complete!!!

Hermionegrangerat34,I am overjoyed to read your message.You have made me so happy.
I really am married! Wow that means so much to me.Thank you SO VERY MUCH,Hermione!