I feel like I’ve hit a low point - how can I earn money?

[FinanciallyScared]

Currently a SAHM. Two very young children so can’t afford nursery costs. We were doing okay but my husband has been struggling a little since our mortgage rate massively increased, transfers me a small amount monthly. With that and the CB I’m only just paying my bills, I no longer have enough for anything else and I’m racking up debt on a credit card I can’t afford to do more than pay the minimum payment off.

I need to earn somehow money remotely during any free time or in the evenings (husband works some nights too on random shifts so I can’t be out of the house)! I have generic office based skills up to manager level and have spent hours this morning uploading my cv and details to a site where you apply for random freelance/admin work but when I got to the end you need to pay for ‘credits’ to then apply for jobs…I have nothing in my account and could honestly cry.

I’ve also spent time looking at videos on drop shipping, pdf sales, Etsy shops selling digital products and all sorts but again these all seem to need some kind of money up front which I don’t have and I’ve spent so many hours down YouTube rabbit holes that I don’t know what’s a scam or not anymore. Please if someone lets me know a way I can earn money without having to pay for it, let me know because I’m feeling so low about it all today. (NC for this).

It's really hard to return to work even with a relatively short period of being a SAHM if you haven't had a career/specific qualifications etc. My DC are all autistic and outsourcing childcare wasn't workable for us and I had a few periods of being a SAHM.

So I do sympathise with the OP, but if one income isn't enough, they have to work together.

Realistically he's in a better position to look for a more flexible job (if his current employer won't give predictable shifts/rigid holiday system) than the OP is to find one that fits with the current availability. That won't go down well with him, I'm sure. But accumulating credit card debt and only paying the minimum won't be helpful when it comes to remortgaging.

I’m a bit confused as to your set up, if one earner surely you should have a joint account? Plus you say my bills as opposed to bills? I would also think you need to go back to work and put the kids into childcare

Could you do babysitting in the evenings when dh isn’t working?

What about evening and weekend work when your dh is home so no need to worry about childcare?

Have you looked into nursery costs? Especially with the funded hours available.

As you don’t qualify for UC you may qualify for tax free childcare- this can cover any amount over the funded hours.
Even getting a part time job will make a difference to your income( and your sanity)
Also- when is the last time you checked your eligibility for UC? The thresholds change every year so it may be that you could potentially qualify for a small amount?

It doesn't need to be full-time childcare though. When my children were very young the sweet spot of maximising my income against paying commute and childcare costs was working three days a week, anything over that an I wasnt taking any extra money home.
It was a great balance between spending time with them and building my career too. Now my children are in school I have upped that to 4 days and I'm earning more we're far, far more comfortable.
My partner also worked constant back-shifts (2pm-11pm) for a few years too, then we only had childcare costs for the afternoons. You do whatever you need to, to make it work.

If your husband only transfers a small amount of money to you, how does he envisage you are paying the bills? You need to sit down and have an honest conversation about your finances. If you are misleading him, he could be misleading you.

As @TartanMammy mentions, it’s not all or nothing, you might be able to make things work if you return part-time, especially with the huge expansion in funded childcare.

You say DH sometimes works evenings but what about weekends? If you can work 16 to 20 hours every weekend that should help?

Late to this, but he can make a flexible working request to not work those occasional evenings and weekends.

Why is he only transferring a small amount to you each month? You should have complete access to his money?

You must get your own job and financial independence as it sounds like he is not being fair with money

Sent you a PM @FinanciallyScared 😊

A job in the evenings when dh is at home.15- 20 hours per week would be 700-800 per month ( nmw).

This.
With young children, money has to be joint. You should have full access.
It is not acceptable in today's world for him to be giving you an 'allowance'.

Get a joint current account and a joint savings account set up.
All income, from him, you, and benefits gets paid into the joint current account.
All expenditure related to the household and children comes out of the joint account - so there is complete transparency over how much things cost and who is spending what.
Then you both separately have personal current accounts. You both get an agreed 'pocket money' amount transferred from the joint account to your personal accounts, to be spent however you want. Do a family budget to find out what pocket money amount is affordable. It can be adjusted as needed.

Also set up a standing order from the joint current into the joint savings, for emergencies like a new washing machine or whatever, or saving for holidays or Christmas.

From the pocket money account, you buy your make up and any "special" toiletries. Standard family toiletries come out of the joint.
Negotiate whether phone contracts are joint or personal - make sure it is fair and that you have similar phones and contracts.
Negotiate whether cars are joint or family - if he has a much better car than you, then cars should be personal and he can pay for his own.
If he (or you) is buying lunch at work or coffees when out, that is personal. Packed lunch supplies can come out of the joint and be bought with the family shopping.
Buying presents for each other comes from your personal accounts, so the cost can be secret and the presents are a surprise. Children's presents are joint. Negotiate whether cards and presents for wider family members are joint or personal.

Then, when all that is set up, you can discuss together how to cut down on family spending.

Car Boot Sale for instant cash. Loyalty Points to spend? Gift cards to spend? Vinted/FB sales? Take anything back for a refund? Take in ironing? Register as a childminder? Evening job and get a babysitter if needed occasionally? Work at weekends? Just throwing some ideas out there.

Firstly, I am also puzzled by why he is only giving you a small amount of money and you are getting into debt? It should all be joint money.

Secondly, forget about selling stuff online and similar. What you need is a proper job. Get a part time office job and pay for nursery out of your joint earnings.

You need to sit down with your DH and talk about money, you can’t pay bills if you don’t have any.
Get out of the mindset that you can’t afford nursery. Look at funded hours, working part time, childminders etc and remember childcare is a joint cost.
Even if you have no intention of going back to work at the moment tell your DH you are and he will need to find X amount per month and also step up at home with Admin/cleaning etc.

First step is to sit down with your husband and tell him the full situation. You need to go through all the finances and set a proper budget and work together on Bringing in more money. Why can't you tell him the situation?. Do you overspend on rubbish?

I work a second job at weekends doing call centre work (100% remote) and they've just started advertising internally for another intake of call handlers soon. The work itself is easy enough, just taking calls and logging information. No targets/sales.

If weekends would work for you drop me a DM. I can share my linkedin etc with you.

I totally agree with this. You are married and have children so all money is joint money.

Look into tax free childcare and the funded hours available. When DDs were in nursery I worked three days a week in an office job and at one point was only bringing in an extra £20 a month on top of what nursery cost us. But crucially I was also paying into my pension and was keeping my hand in at work. It was a good balance of having time with them and time at work.

They're both in primary school now so things are definitely easier even with the cost of after school and holiday clubs.

I work from home, looking after dogs for people who hate kennels. It's VERY lucrative. There is an up front cost of a licence from your council (£120) and insurance from Cliverton (£140), but that's it really. Your local council would tell you how many dogs you were allowed (based on house/garden size). I am allowed 4 overnight @ £30 each, so I always make £120 a day. Many people in Cities charge £40 a day. You can choose tiny dogs (totally up to you). Some councils won't give a licence though if you have kids under a certain age. But it varies wildly, and I believe that in some areas there is NO licencing at all. I gained business by leafleting and putting adverts on FB and Gumtree. I do not have a day off until October. It's very, very in demand.

Agree with others that this is a household issue, not one just for you. All money is joint money. Have a look at the Dave Ramsey baby steps. It’s helped a lot for us.

OP, what bills are you paying from the small "allowance" your husband gives you plus child benefit?

Is it everything for the children? Clothes, shoes,nappies etc? And/or car running costs and/or your mobile phone costs and/or food?

Whatever it is, there is absolutely no way that you should be trying to pay any bills by yourself as a SAHM. Every penny that your husband earns belongs to you equally and all bills for the family/household should be paid from a joint account.

If your husband is expecting you to pay any of the above expenses from a tiny allowance plus a small amount of child benefit, this is financial abuse.

The only way forward is complete honesty and openness with your husband and total transparency regarding finances, and agreeing as a married couple that all household expenses are joint.

Only after this can you think about a way forward, which may involve you both working and jointly paying for childcare for your children.

All the best.

May have already been suggested but could you consider registering as a childminder yourself?

Can you apply to nurse bank as a band 2 or to an agency as a carer? That way you could pick and chose your shifts and do nightshifts / twilight shifts when your husband is home at night? It is often weekly paid. I know it’s not what your trained at doing but maybe worth a go?

Ideas for unusual part time jobs - ask around local churches, many employ someone a few hours a week to handle paperwork, PowerPoint presentations etc. and often it’s wfh or flexible. They should be paying the living wage rather than minimum.

Again assuming you have decent admin skills, email local professionals like architects, surveyors etc to see if they have any wfh admin, many will not have many if any office staff but be drowning in paperwork, a few hours a month flexibly could be what they need. Consider taking overnight care home shifts especially on weekends, they are typically short staffed and some settings eg small group homes for younger adults with sen you will actually get sleep!