Struggling month to month?

[Bellfox95]

Hey,

Is anyone else struggling to make it month to month?

Me and my partner both work, I earn about £1800 a month and he gets about £1300
We have a small bit of debt, nothing too insane - our monthly outgoing are about £1500 for everything so again, not too bad. But every single month we have no money left and are struggling to make it pay check to pay check.

My partner pays £775 and I pay £725 (my partner has to pay towards child maintenance so his costs are mostly that) this leaves my partner with £525 and me with £1075.

I then get all the food shopping (got this down to £120PW by doing it online and not in store) est £480 a month, I then also buy the petrol which is probably about £80, most the tobacco as we both smoke which is probably another £100 ish, the odd takeaway, which usually costs £30 to £40 - then the odd trips to the shop between running out of main food in the house and I find I have literally nothing left.

i don’t feel like I’m “living lavishly” but maybe I am, I know I’m not in a “bad” situation and there are people who can’t afford there bills and to buy food.

I wondered how other people were getting on financially and all the threads I find are people who earn over 40k per annum, and there just aren’t jobs like that where we live is quite rural so I can’t just “go earn more money”

I’m just finding it incredibly annoying I never have anything, I can’t go shopping and buy nice things cause I can’t afford it, my partner has his £525 but he spends this on himself, I guess I feel slightly frustrated because my money is “household money” whereas my partner still has money for himself.

Quit smoking and tell him he needs to buy his own tobacco...

Seriously though we are fairly similar, earn a bit more but have a child. DP brings home 2100 and me around 1300 + 100 child benefit. We manage fine. Definitely not rich but we get by. Don't smoke, and petrol costs are minimal and probably spend your weekly food cost on 3 of us. I don't eat takeaway, partner occasionally spends a tenner in the Chinese. Childcare costs around £150 a month. You just have to prioritise where the money goes

He’s working part time and you’re buying all the household things, that’s why you have no money. Added to that, you don’t have a high income yet are buying £100 tobacco every month, takeaways smoothies, snacks and drinks. Cut those down and you’ll have more money.

This ^ 💯

You're definitely not alone—this is such a common feeling right now. Everything seems more expensive, even when you're being careful.

Your budget doesn't sound reckless at all. In fact, it’s clear you’ve put a lot of thought into it. Spending £120 a week on food for two adults (maybe more?) and shopping online to avoid impulse purchases is really responsible, not “lavish” in the slightest. Smoking does add up, but you already know that, and it’s often a way to cope when things are tough. No judgment here—everyone has their own version of that, whether it’s candles or random skincare buys.

Your frustration is completely valid. You’re taking on most of the shared household essentials, leaving yourself with almost nothing, while your partner still has some personal spending money. That imbalance can breed resentment over time because you’re focused on “responsible” expenses while they get to enjoy the “fun” stuff.

A few ideas:

Budgeting tips:

• £480 a month on food is pretty average for two adults, but could you save £20–£40 by doing a bulk shop at a cheaper supermarket for things like pasta, rice, or toilet paper?
• Smoking is expensive, but you know that. If quitting or cutting down is something you’d consider, it could save you both £100–£200 a month—but only if you’re ready (no judgment if you’re not).
• Takeaways once or twice a month for £30–£40 isn’t extravagant—you deserve small treats!
• The “bits and bobs” spending can add up quickly. Maybe track it for a couple of weeks to see where it’s going? It’s often less bad than it feels.

Relationship dynamics:
If you’re covering all the groceries, petrol, and extras while your partner sticks to a fixed contribution and keeps the rest for themselves, that’s not really an equal setup.
It might be a good idea to discuss combining more of your finances or setting up a regular “budget night” together, so you’re not solely managing the mental load of bills, groceries, and shopping. You both work hard and deserve money for yourselves, not just one of you.
Even suggesting something like, "How about we each set aside £100 for personal spending, and the rest goes into a shared fund?" could help rebalance things so you’re not always feeling like the responsible adult.

On an emotional level, this isn’t you complaining. It may not be a crisis, but it’s the accumulation of small stresses that wear you down over time. It’s tough not being able to replace a top with a hole in it or watching your money disappear as soon as it arrives.

Living in a rural area adds another layer—those who say “just earn more” don’t understand that not everyone has access to job opportunities with upward mobility. You’re doing your best with what’s available.

You come across as someone genuinely trying to do the right thing and feeling like it’s never quite enough, which is exhausting. Be kind to yourself. And for what it’s worth, yes, many people are struggling, even if they don’t admit it.

You’re not failing—you’re navigating a challenging period with a lot of common sense and resilience.

His wage is too small because he is working part time. If he cannot hack nights full time then he needs to get a full time day job. Can’t expect you to buy all his food and fags!!!! What a joke you earn well and should be able to save or spend as you wish

Get him working full time, stop subsidising his lifestyle and then your magically find all of your income!

I agree with everyone else. He needs to pay his fair share. No way could he live on his own earning that small amount of money.

There's £1200 per year literally going up in smoke.

You're paying for your partner. It's that simple. Insist on a joint account with equal contributions. If he refuses then your only realistic option is to dump him.

Sorry OP but agree with all the pp’s you are struggling because of your partner. I’ve no problem partners supporting each other, contributing more, looking after each other when sick, burnt out etc but this set up seems to put the burden on you for no good reason. Are you confident that this is what he is earning and not what he’s telling you he is earning? What work does he do? Is it not available during the day? Could he change to another full time day job? Another one to advise you to check if you are eligible for UC but you need to be sure of his earnings.

i would cut out the odd take away
look on bbc good food cheap meals

Give up takeaways and cut down on smoking?

No why should the rest of us subsidise him only working part time