Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Original poster

How would you approach our finances in retirement?

54 replies

dietmonkey · 21/06/2025 10:48

Hi all. Looking for some outside opinions on money, as we approach retirement!

DH is going to retire at 55. I totally support this, as his job is stressful. He will take his pension then, and will receive a lump sum of £60k and £900 per month. This will happen in 2 years time.

I am going to continue with my self employment, as it's done from home and is pretty easy. I earn £2500pm in quiet months, up to £4000 in busy months.

Mortgage will be finished by then, so outgoings will be low - around £600 a month for bills, and say, £500 for food. In addition, I am going to take my pension at the same time, which will pay me £83k lump sum, and £1000pm.

My question is, do I just pay for everything from my income, and let DH keep his £900pm to himself, or, should we continue to split bills down the middle? We have always kept finances separate, as we got together later in life. Also, I should add, I am a saver, whereas he loves to spend, often buying a lot of "stuff" that I would not want to be paying half for.

My fear is that he won't have much left over for holidays etc, if he is paying half of the bills.

We haven't discussed this at all. Crazy, I know! On the one hand, I feel we should both pay, but how can that be fair if my income is so much higher than his?

Maybe I should pay for everything? All being well, he should have a hefty inheritance at some point, maybe I should pay for everything until he gets that? But that could be several years away?

Feel very confused as to the best way forward, and would love some comments from unbiased folks!

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 21/06/2025 18:45

What he should do is this. Leave his stressful job. Have a few months break. Then get a less stressful job doing say 3 days a week.

Y2ker · 21/06/2025 18:46

MidlifeWondering · 21/06/2025 14:42

Even if he retires from that job, there’s nothing stopping him getting another less stressful job to supplement his income…
If he doesn’t want to work at all, I’d get him to contribute something, even if it’s not half. Or get him to put x amount into a joint account to save towards holidays maybe?

I'm always perplexed by these retirement posts where someone decides to totally give up work really early and have no money to live on. I kmow loads of people who took on less stressful jobs for a few days a week, to give them something to do if nothing else.

Doggielovecharlotte · 21/06/2025 18:49

Didn’t you post a while ago about this?

ittersbitters · 21/06/2025 19:01

Wowsers you mush have an amazing DB pension if you can take it so early & still get 83k plus 12k a year!

GOODCAT · 21/06/2025 19:05

I would keep the split of expenses exactly as you do now. With separate finances if he chooses not to work (as opposed to being unable to) he needs to be able to support his lifestyle. You might reconsider once he hits state retirement age.

He should also be doing most of the chores. My husband is close to state retirement age and has stopped work. He does virtually everything at home, save at weekends when we are both up doing together.

I get paid significantly more than he used to earn, so already paid the majority of bills, but despite his diminished income we haven't changed the split. We have never actually worked out what is fair, simply just paid different bills.

He now has time to do a lot of work around the house that has needed doing for a while so I am spending on the materials he needs and he is contributing labour.

MounjaroMounjaro · 21/06/2025 19:23

I'm really shocked that he hasn't brought this up, OP. If he's a spender I would really be annoyed if he was living off me but treating himself all the time. Could you perhaps pay for holidays?

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 22/06/2025 21:26

Please talk to a financial planner about taking your pension. Doing so because you are worried the tax free cash will reduce seems mad, especially as you will get a much much lower pension then than if you wait (and pay a load of tax on it in the meantime). And if you actually stick the tax-free cash in a bank account, it will likely decline in value with inflation

springintoaction321 · 23/06/2025 07:51

titchy · 21/06/2025 17:54

lol. How you gonna fund traveling for three months a year on those incomes.

Easy - they are flippin' loaded!!!

Redburnett · 23/06/2025 07:58

Won't there be a significant actuarial reduction to your DB pension if you take it early?

Original poster
dietmonkey · 23/06/2025 11:25

Redburnett · 23/06/2025 07:58

Won't there be a significant actuarial reduction to your DB pension if you take it early?

If I take it at 58, I get a lump sum of £83k, plus £12k p/a

If I take it at 65, I get lump sum of £118k, plus £17k p/a

Now, obviously the package at 65 is larger, BUT, if I invest £83k into an NS&I plan paying 4% and add my £800 to it every month (£1k minus tax), for 7 years, then by the time I'm 65 the balance would be £187k.

OP posts:
pjani · 23/06/2025 11:42

What about the £17k pa vs £12K pa?

My grandmother is 98 and having been very comfortable for a long time, is finally running out of money. She needs daily private physio so her children are funding it. She could yet live to 100, 105, who knows?

How will you feel at 98 funding your own, likely very expensive healthcare needs? And your DH's? These rise far above the rate of inflation.

I think neither of you are thinking quite seriously enough about the risks of living a very long life and the quality of that life when you are frail aged.

I definitely think for many reasons your DH shouldn't retire with that tiny income - it's beneficial for so many reasons to work (part-time, lower stress) roles.

Ariela · 23/06/2025 15:04

NS&I isn't guaranteed to remain at 4%. What if it drops to 1.5%?
I honestly think you'll be worse off due to the amount extra you'll be paying in income tax

Ponderingwindow · 23/06/2025 15:07

How can he be planning to retire if he hasn’t sat down and worked out how his money is going to last?

notapizzaeater · 23/06/2025 15:07

When you posted before he was going to work helping you out ? Can you not pay him for this ?

Myotherusernamesafunnyone · 23/06/2025 16:09

Please go an see a proper IFA

AvidJadeShaker · 23/06/2025 17:08

Could you use some of the advice you received from your last thread about this?

StevieCandlewick · 23/06/2025 17:14

How will you feel at 98?

Oh come on! The majority of us won't live til that age so don't need to plan for that extreme.

PermanentTemporary · 23/06/2025 17:41

Living til 85 is quite likely though and £5k less per year for 20 years is a hundred grand. That seems a lot to give up.

Chewbecca · 23/06/2025 17:56

£5k py that is very likely index linked too...
I think OP is thinking more with her heart than head unfortunately.

Harassedevictee · 23/06/2025 19:36

dietmonkey · 21/06/2025 12:42

Thanks for replying! He's retiring at 55 because his job is horrendous. Well paid, but very stressful and after 20 years of it, he's had enough. The shifts are awful times too. He often has to get up at 5am, or work until midnight.

Re my pension, I am eager to get the lump sum into my bank, tbh. That way at least if anything happens to me, my DH or kids can have it. It's a DB pension, so it will never run out.

Check your DB pension I am fairly sure if you don’t take it your family will still get the lump sum.

As a pp said it’s not sensible to take a DB pension so early when you are earning a decent salary. You need to stop and really think about the figures.

yakkity · 24/06/2025 15:05

OP if you cover all expenses so he can share the cost of holidays etc you’ll find yourself paying for the holidays anyway as you’ve said, he’s a spender. He’ll just spend his money and you’ll end up having to finance the holidays and replacement cars etc yourself.

Separate finances worked. You don’t change it just because one person now doesn’t like it.

split costs as you have been. He can’t retire at this young age and live off you. He can leave his job and find another job and cut his cloth to fit his new income. You then may choose to subsidise his holidays a little but at least you’ll have control of your finances this way and not just find yourself paying for everything whilst he just kicks back and spends all his money on crap

Yellowsubmarineunderthesea · 24/06/2025 15:15

OP, you say you both qualify for the full state pension and maybe it's different where I/you live. In Ireland, while I have officially got the required number of contributions this year (I'm 61 years) I still need to keep my pension record current and need to engage with Dept of Social Welfare to ensure I fully satisfy conditions for the full pension at 66. In Ireland, fully retiring at 55 wouldn't give you this.

greencartbluecart · 24/06/2025 15:24

Why would you take your pension early? You shouldn’t need it and you will want to retire at sone point yourself ? If you don’t need it leave it where it is

900 a month is pretty slim for a private pension - is there any less stressful work he could do for a few years ? Is there any way he can avoid drawing it straight away ? You have more than us on your minimum salary alone and we feel very comfortable ( probably because we have emergency savings and a new car pot so don’t need to save any income - edit to add and neither of us are big spenders )

joint pot for everything and the same amount of “free” money each every month

rwalker · 24/06/2025 15:39

Going 50/50 DH will have £350 a month to live on and you’ll have £2950
I think I’d just pay the lot you’d £2400 spare and he’d have £900

yakkity · 24/06/2025 16:25

rwalker · 24/06/2025 15:39

Going 50/50 DH will have £350 a month to live on and you’ll have £2950
I think I’d just pay the lot you’d £2400 spare and he’d have £900

He’ll fiend all his abd then the OP will end up having to finance all holidays , replacements, house maintenance etc. basically he’s just retiring early and living off her. How is this a partnership.

he’s quite capable of getting non stressful job even if it pays less than his last job. But bunking off from work and expecting to be financed by your partner is really not appropriate. Especially when you are late life partners who have not spent lifetimes of huge and take. It will be just him taking

Swipe left for the next trending thread