Turned to s*x work

[hardtimesdoodoo]

I’m a single mum and I am on benefits I have a child with extreme adhd and a child who’s not got any disability. I live kinda rural I got house her by council and I don’t drive. I turned to doing sex work think picture for money web cams) as I couldn’t afford my children end of the month. My child’s dad disappeared and has never paid a penny and I have no other support. I had to flee domestic abuse and whilst doing it I built up debts to pay for trains and so on to get my children safe I was housed in a hotel for a bit which added to my financial struggle as feeding children in. A hotel for 4 months was soo expensive. I think I just wanted to tell someone as it’s eating up at me I can’t sleep or eat properly and I am looking for work but nothing that doesn’t mean I’m paying extra in childcare fees
does anyone have any advice or been in a similar situation.
I think what hurts most is I had savings and lots before my ex who abused me and stole my money it’s one of the most hurtful parts as it feels like he’s done this but without the work and I’m not making grands a month I’m barely covering a weekly shop beleove me none of this is greed.

Sorry to hear about your difficult circumstances.

I think all you can do, realistically, is to continue to look for work, as you already are doing so.

Where's your family/mum/siblings/friends in all this? Could they assist you financially?

I think you just need to do what's best for you to survive. It's tough out there. As long as you don't feel ashamed.
You've been through a lot by the sounds of it. Things will get better.

It depends on if you want to do that type of work or not if your happy doing it go for it if you're not then check your receiving all the benefits your entitled to and keep looking for work

There's lots you can do to help your situation (been there, done that).

Go to CMS about your ex, if he is working they will garnish his wages, if he isn't, you're no worse off.

Call stepchange, they can have a look at your debt situation and can work with the companies to get your payments reduced.
While you're looking for work ask the jobcentre about any grants you could be entitled to, to help with qualifications, you can do them from home a lot of time and this will help you find work.

Check Entitled To, make sure you're claiming everything you're supposed to.

If you are a carer for your child then some areas have a scheme where they will help you with driving lessons, it's worth having a look at to see if it's available in your area.

I'm not necessarily against SW, but it's clearly not making you feel good bout yourself which is affecting everything else in your life. You can't help anyone else if you're running on empty yourself 💐

Honest to goodness my friend did it at university
And she never looked back once she left it hasn’t affected her life. She is absolutely fine mentally and physically.
Obviously, it wouldn’t have been her first choice, but sometimes you do what you’ve got to do

Bless you
There are no grants available, the CMS have powers, but they don’t use them.
Even 10 years ago, it was easier being a single parent than it is now
It’s not something I would wish my worst enemy

There are grants for driving lessons available, I know 2 people who have applied and been granted it due to their child's disability. It's probably area dependent but its worth a look.

I am currently doing an OU degree with a grant because my dd is disabled and I'm her carer.

The CMS absolutely will garnish wages if he's in employment. My children's father has his garnished. It's more difficult if he's self employed, but its still worth looking at.

Not sure why the patronising "bless you" when this has been my life, and I know others in similar situations.

Only thing I'd be concerned about is if on benefits an they look into your bank transactions

I fhought this but I spoke to my work coach and she said unless it was substantial amounts it’s not illegal and seen as gifts or tips so it goes unnoticed apparently very normal but it just feels like I’m carrying a secrete a weird feeling and hurtful due to domestic. Onlyfans and cam sites both take national insurance numbers too

I literally have a masters in my ou degree I think that’s what’s so sad

Keep looking for work each day. Dedicate one hour a day to job searching to keep it manageable. You’ll find something. Do you have previous work experience?

Are you claiming all you can get , do you have carers allowance for your small one , if you care for her 24/ 7 there is an allowance for that . Plus rent and council tax support . Child allowance etc

Afaik this is incorrect.

If you earn over £1000 a year you have to declare it to HMRC, any money you earn via those sites needs to be reported to UC as wages.

You need to do it all correctly or you'll get yourself into more debt.

Do you have your work coach saying this in writing?

im not judging you, you have to do what you need to survive.
I sold some very worn questionable items a few years back before the market got so saturated. I made good money at the time.

you really need to look into tax side of things though and report your earnings.

Why did you mention child care fees surely if you are not working you don’t have these? Assuming you have a work coach then you are claiming UC and looking for work as part of claiming benefits. You have a masters but don’t drive but accepted a council house rurally. Why exactly are you running out of money at end of the month? Can you move somewhere nearer to work options. What ages are your children?

the nursery near by only offers work 9 - 4 I did work in the local cafe but I had to spend £200 a fortnight on covering me from 8am - 9am and it wasn’t worth it. Those hours aren’t covered due to it being provided by a out of nursery team and not by the nursery itself i challenged it at the time. And Asda shops and my local shop has about a £3 mark up on most items and I had dents so I’m living on around £500 from the start of the month

i thought the same which is why I mentioned it after giving in my bank statements for my savings review (I have none but apparently they are checking all savings for people on UC and they said it’s just seen as gifts due to the amount. I’m not making grands apparently as long as it stays under the £6009 or if i was making repetative £100 payments it would be different but it’s not that at all

If where you are living is unsustainable I.e rural have you the option to move? Start with small goals have you done a full income/ outgoings review following Martin Lewis. What is your highest qualification in? Make sure you have done full benefits review turn to us calculation. There is no need to be going without food and i am concerned that you are not sleeping have you mentioned all this to your job coach they can refer you to extra support. It sounds like you need to build up support networks in real life have you any friends nearby?

Have a look at remote admin jobs, I've just filtered for remote roles so look through & see if there's anything suits you. Especially as you have a masters degree, you really don't need to resort to sex work.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs?Workplace=remote