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Gift money to daughter's support workers

14 replies

ByCalmBrickPanda · 16/06/2025 00:21

I have recently won some money on my premium bonds (a five figure sum), and would like to gift some of it to my daughter's support workers, who have been sharing her care with me since the death of my wife 2 years ago. DD (22) has learning difficulties, and I'm not sure how I would cope if she was not in supported living, as it gives me a chance to focus on my other children and to try and rebuild my own life too. I'd prefer to give it anonymously. In the house she is living in there is a team of 4 regular support workers, who are all amazingly caring, and I am thinking of giving them £500 each. I was thinking of doing this through the company who operate and manage the house. Grateful for any thoughts - could it be problematic?

OP posts:
OneTealMentor · 16/06/2025 00:22

I don't believe people working in the health and care sector are allowed to accept gifts

POTC · 16/06/2025 00:26

I doubt the care company will let you. I was allowed to keep an amazon voucher for £100 but had to declare it to my company, and it was from a family whose relative had gone into a home so was technically no longer a client. Any higher value, or a current client, and they'd have said no.

POTC · 16/06/2025 00:27

You could offer to pay for a nice meal (takeaway probably most practical) or day out for the entire household instead, that would be likely to get approved

ByCalmBrickPanda · 16/06/2025 00:29

Ah thank you - glad I posted!

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Redshoeblueshoe · 16/06/2025 00:30

When I worked in care we were not allowed to accept gifts.

doglover4ever · 16/06/2025 00:38

Approach the care manager and be very clear that the gift is from you and that you request that the gift is to be given directly to the carers. Put it in writing that you have full Mental Capacity and it is your decision. Carers are allowed to accept a gift as long as it is accepted through the right channels.

ByCalmBrickPanda · 16/06/2025 00:38

That's very helpful. I think I'll offer to pay for a day out/takeaway meal for the house as I think they'd all enjoy that. Thank you for all replies.

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ByCalmBrickPanda · 16/06/2025 07:47

doglover4ever · 16/06/2025 00:38

Approach the care manager and be very clear that the gift is from you and that you request that the gift is to be given directly to the carers. Put it in writing that you have full Mental Capacity and it is your decision. Carers are allowed to accept a gift as long as it is accepted through the right channels.

Thank you for this. I will approach the care company manager in first instance. I appreciate you replying.

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healthybychristmas · 16/06/2025 10:42

I think if I were a carer I would much prefer the money to a meal out. Is there anyone you would be missing out as I think that could be a problem? It's such a lovely idea. I was wondering as well whether you could maybe give them a nice supermarket voucher at Christmas time? My mom is in a care home and we are allowed to hand in gifts but not to anyone specific. We hand them into the manager and they all go into a pot are shared equally. It doesn't sound like the same situation regarding staff as in the care home they want people who work in the kitchens and so on to benefit as well.

Vera87 · 16/06/2025 10:53

I work in care and we are not allowed to accept gifts. However I’d go through the Managers and perhaps then you can give something.
personally I love a handwritten card :) or a Costa voucher for caffeine hehe

Blushingm · 16/06/2025 10:54

Sadly enough they wouldn’t be allowed to accept it

cherrycola66 · 16/06/2025 11:30

Our policy is not allowed to accept any gift with value of over £5 unfortunatley

Beetham · 16/06/2025 12:30

@ByCalmBrickPanda What a lovely thought. My daughter is profoundly disabled and has carers through direct payments, she's only young so she has care at home with me. I am also the registered manager of a care agency, I worked my way up from being a care worker at 19, so live in this world all the time!

I think a cash gift is lovely, even with the best agencies care staff are horrendously underpaid for the work they do. As others have said your daughter's care staff likely have it in their code of conduct or similar that they are not allowed to accept gifts, my staff cannot accept any cash and can only accept small gifts up to a value of £10.

When my daughter left nursery a couple of years ago I wanted to get her 2 amazing workers (they accompianed her to nursery because of her complex health needs) some money, I knew both had very little money and they both had young children themselves and I felt that money would be much more meaningful for them. They work for the NHS so absolutely can't accept gifts. I'm not necessarily recommending this but I casually asked both of them where they lived, tracked down their individual houses and anonymously posted £250 through each of their doors with a little note. They both must have known it was me but no-one said anything.

You could speak to the manager about how you can go about this, although to be honest in my organisation I don't think I'd accept, intead I'd ask for a donation as we're a charity, which it not really what you're seeking to do. Although you could do a big purchase for the household with that money, e.g. a hot tub which while mainly for the tenants rather than the staff, if it improves people's quality of live it also makes staff's jobs a lot more enjoyable and often run smoother.

If it was me I would be cautious about saying you'd come into money, just in terms of making yourself vulnerable. The other things I'd just take some time to think through:

-Is there any staff you may miss out? Does this have the risk of causing friction?
-Are you okay with the possibility of one of the staff members leaving soon, or even worse if an incident happens with them and your daughter is harmed? Not saying it will happen but I've learnt to expect all sorts of shenanigans with even my best staff.
-There may be a possibility that this becomes expected of you, or of other staff wanting to transfer to your daughter's house.
-If there is ever issues over money in the future then there may be an expectation that you can foot the bill for extra needed things are you have money.

Upon reading what I've written I feel it sounds a bit negative which I didn't mean it to be. They're just things to consider.

I am so happy that it's such a wonderful placement with great staff, it gives me hope for my DD's future.

ByCalmBrickPanda · 16/06/2025 18:02

Beetham · 16/06/2025 12:30

@ByCalmBrickPanda What a lovely thought. My daughter is profoundly disabled and has carers through direct payments, she's only young so she has care at home with me. I am also the registered manager of a care agency, I worked my way up from being a care worker at 19, so live in this world all the time!

I think a cash gift is lovely, even with the best agencies care staff are horrendously underpaid for the work they do. As others have said your daughter's care staff likely have it in their code of conduct or similar that they are not allowed to accept gifts, my staff cannot accept any cash and can only accept small gifts up to a value of £10.

When my daughter left nursery a couple of years ago I wanted to get her 2 amazing workers (they accompianed her to nursery because of her complex health needs) some money, I knew both had very little money and they both had young children themselves and I felt that money would be much more meaningful for them. They work for the NHS so absolutely can't accept gifts. I'm not necessarily recommending this but I casually asked both of them where they lived, tracked down their individual houses and anonymously posted £250 through each of their doors with a little note. They both must have known it was me but no-one said anything.

You could speak to the manager about how you can go about this, although to be honest in my organisation I don't think I'd accept, intead I'd ask for a donation as we're a charity, which it not really what you're seeking to do. Although you could do a big purchase for the household with that money, e.g. a hot tub which while mainly for the tenants rather than the staff, if it improves people's quality of live it also makes staff's jobs a lot more enjoyable and often run smoother.

If it was me I would be cautious about saying you'd come into money, just in terms of making yourself vulnerable. The other things I'd just take some time to think through:

-Is there any staff you may miss out? Does this have the risk of causing friction?
-Are you okay with the possibility of one of the staff members leaving soon, or even worse if an incident happens with them and your daughter is harmed? Not saying it will happen but I've learnt to expect all sorts of shenanigans with even my best staff.
-There may be a possibility that this becomes expected of you, or of other staff wanting to transfer to your daughter's house.
-If there is ever issues over money in the future then there may be an expectation that you can foot the bill for extra needed things are you have money.

Upon reading what I've written I feel it sounds a bit negative which I didn't mean it to be. They're just things to consider.

I am so happy that it's such a wonderful placement with great staff, it gives me hope for my DD's future.

Thank you so much for your very thoughtful and detailed response - it’s so helpful to read. I’m reflecting on how best to do things. Wishing you all good luck with your daughter’s care in future.

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