Making a will

[Belladog1]

I am being put under pressure to make a Will. I do need to do it, but I don't know where to begin.

I separated from my husband in March this year. We sold the house and split the equity 50/50. We are still married and still friends. But my father is getting quite insistent on me to make a Will.

I am in rented accommodation now, I have no children. My parents are fairly wealthy and they have a will leaving their wealth to my sister and I when they die. But Dad is scared that my husband will get a share of his hard earned money if I die before him. I also have assets now from the sale of my marital home.

But where do I start? Who do I use? Who do I leave my money to? Do I do a cheap online Will? What if I meet someone else, can I change it? Do I need to research charities and find their charity numbers?

I'm a bit baffled. Plus, who on earth do I choose as an executor of the Will?

Speak to a solicitor - our family solicitor made a will.

You could look into legacy donating. A company like Quilter would show your their portfolio.

are you getting divorced ?

I'm not sure about the divorce. We were married over 30yrs, but we became house mates. We still care about each other. But he cared more for the vodka bottle than me in the end.

If he's a drinker it's definitely worth making a will so anything of yours doesn't just get drunk.

If you want to change your will again later you can.

The important thing to do is complete a financial settlement and get divorced, otherwise your father is right, he may well benefit from their passing

If you died without a will then your husband would currently inherit under the intestacy rules

You need to get a divorce abd a financial order otherwise he can come back at any later date for money. Go to a solicitor and tell them what you want in your will.

Also worth considering a divorce if he's likely to end up in a bad way with the drink - you don't want to end up having to give him more of your hard earned later on based on his circumstances.

Do you have a pension ?

You definitely need a will. Just find a local solicitor, you don’t need anything fancy. Your sister could be your executor.

I do have a pension. Not worth loads, but about £70k at the moment.

It's mainly the money from the house and any inheritance that's worrying my parents.

They think he will go through his money and ask me for a hand out. He won't get any .... but they know he's rubbish with money, whereas I'm good with money (I work in finance)

I'm kinda scared to ask for a divorce yet. My husband is in a bad way. He thought we'd be together for life. I feel like I've broken him. I was waiting for the dust to settle, but I need to protect my assets.

I've invested my house money in 3 separate investments whereas he is spending his!

In your situation your parents are right to be cautious about your assets as while you remain married your husband would be in line to inherit in the absence of a will. Suggest you find a solicitor and speak to them rather than using a DIY kit or on line service. You can then amend your will in the future if you do meet someone / your circumstances change.

Don’t overthink it for now, just draw up a simple will leaving it to your sister and naming her as executor, you can change it at any time you want when things have settled and you have time to think about what you really want.

Your father is right. Without a divorce snd more importantly ,financial order, your ex still has a claim on your estate as if you were married. You will need a solicitor for this one.

Have you at least done a legal separation @Belladog1 ?

If he's spending all his money and you're investing yours it's even more important to have a legally recognised ending to your relationship.

What happens if you divorce in 3 years and you have to sort the finances. The pot to be split will be your house money and your pension because he's drank his away. He'll be viewed as a vulnerable person and he'll be needing money to be housed etc.

Because he's in a bad way it's more important that you legally protect your finances.

It’s more important than ever that you make a will now.

Even though you're separated, your husband is still your legal next of kin. If you die without a will, he will likely get everything.

If you die before your parents, any inheritance you were due could go to your husband.

We used the Co-op for our wills. Found them extremely professional and inexpensive.

I’d also bite the bullet while you’re at it and start divorce proceedings.

The other factor to consider is that if you were to die then inheriting all your money wouldn't be good for him - he's drinking all his share away. Drinking away all of yours as well could be disastrous.

It was inheriting a bundle of money that killed by alcoholic father in the end. He went from drinking the amount of alcohol that benefits allowed him to buy to drinking an absolute shit tonne of alcohol. He lasted less than 6 months after inheriting.

It was would be kinder to him if your finances are sorted (even if he doesn't see it like that)

I’d ring round 5 local solicitors and ask the cost of making a solo will.

when I recently did this for another matter the cost varied from £700 - £1450 for a straight forward legal task be aware that costs are different

They think he will go through his money and ask me for a hand out. He won't get any .... but they know he's rubbish with money, whereas I'm good with money (I work in finance)

Until you have done a legal financial order signed off by a court, either through divorce or a legal separation, he WILL be entitled to money that you have if he spends his own.

Right now a divorce with a financial order attached will give you greater protection than a Will.

Thank you for all your responses. It is appreciated.

I'd never heard of a financial order through legal separation, so I will look into it.

I believe we deal with the Co-Op Will Services through my work, so I will ask my boss when he gets in to refer me.

As above it you're still married and die intestate your husband will benefit. That's why you need a will.

Pronto.

I guess if you've been married 30 years you're at least in your fifties. Even if you're in good health now you can be struck down at any time.

There's a primer on the subject here.

You can buy DIY will kits from legal stationers or various charities will do a will free of charge in the expectation of a pecuniary legacy.

If the estate is anywhere near the IHT limit you might want tailored advice from a Solicitor.

Do you have siblings who might have your estate split between them. Do you want your Father to benefit.

I'd suggest making one now splitting assets amongst, say, father/family. Then take time to think longer term.

Wills can be revoked and replaced or amended with a codicil at any time so don't get in a pickle over the future etc.

If you re-marry

Would you be happy if your sort of-ex was to take every single thing you own…property, pension, jewellery, inheritance, handbags etc etc etc….if he were to take it all now and drink away the proceeds?
If not….get a Will made by a qualified solicitor-not a Will writing service or he may still get the lot!

I'm 51 and my husband is 65.

At the moment my assets only equate to about £150k (all cash, no property), but when my parents pass (depending on care homes etc) I could be worth well over a million.

I will definitely be dealing with making an appointment this week. It's been playing on my mind a lot, and every time I see my parents by Dad asks me if I've done anything about it.

I really need to speak with my husband about divorcing. I'm just scared it will tip him over the edge. He spent 2 months just drinking and falling over (has cut his head open twice) but in the last few weeks he appears to have turned a corner. But he has spent his money unwisely and he hasn't saved for the future. Its all just burning a hole in his current account.

Discuss divorce with the solicitor as well as the Will. He is responsible for his own drinking behaviour not you. After 30 years it is time to look after your own interests before its too late.

When you split the money on separating was that done legally as settlement or a personal arrangement? You need to discuss with the solicitor where you stand in terms of your half if he has spent his. You need both a Will and a divorce.

No, no settlement. We basically had our house, that was 2yrs away from being mortgage free. We had our own bank accounts, so we didn't have any joint savings. I took the dogs!! I told my husband that I wanted to separate as I couldn't compete with a bottle of vodka anymore, but that I would be fair to him.

I dealt with everything. I found the solicitor and sold the house. I told the solicitor to split the proceeds 50/50, although I did get £10k more than him as my Dad had paid off a small part of our mortgage the year before.

On the day of the house move, we both were together while the movers stripped the house and we sat on the front porch until the solicitor rang to say the money had arrived from our buyers ...... we had a hug and he went his way and I went mine.

Too late to Edit for words missed from my earlier post:

If you re-marry any previous will, unless specifically made in anticipation of marriage, is revoked.

If you've no family to act as Executor you could appoint a professional as executor or co-executor. If you're likely to inherit a very large amount having a professional is a very, very good idea. My Mother left the best part of half a million. The solicitor's fee was around £10k but saved us a lot more than that by knowing all the workarounds that make IHT more or less voluntary for those who know!!

PS - not sure if anybody has asked you to confirm where you are in the UK.

Advice given assumes England/Wales but it may be different in Scotland or NI.