Paying of debt but friends keep inviting me out to places i cant afford to go to and j keep making excuses as to why i cant go as i dont want them to know my struggles atm

[Bluejeansrose78]

I am afraid i am going to push my friends away

i am currently trying to pay off my debt on my own, i am single and am currently renting and am prioritising paying off my debt in small amounts

however this means that why my friends invite me out for drinks or dinner things last minute i cant always go as its not in my budget.

i have not told them about my money issues as we are fairly new friends, but when i keep making excuses or say i am busy they keep saying they can re arrange do another time. I do worry they will eventually get annoyed at me and will stop asking me to things as i always so i cant go.

we all work together which is why i dont want to talk about money.

should i open up this convo a bit more and explain why i cant come?

Could you tell them you've had an unexpected expense? If pushed for details, I'd say your energy supplier had messed up your payments and you're wanting to clear it asap as it's bothering you.

But tbh you may just be over-thinking it; I wouldn’t have given it a second thought (back when i had a social life) if someone declined.
If youre worried they'll stop inviting you, you could suggest nights out that work within your budget, so they know you're interested in spending time with them, not just responding to invites iyswim

I think it’s fine to say that you’re prioritising saving and suggesting a meet up that you can afford? You might be surprised how many of these friends are relieved when someone suggests somewhere cheaper!
It’s obviously up to you how much you want to disclose but if you keep saying no without saying anything you might stop getting invited.

I think you are way over thinking this. You dont need to go into all the gory details. Just a simple "oh that sounds so lovely guys but for various boring reasons I'm on a strict budget at the moment - so I'll have to give that a miss- I could do X event though as its relatively inexpensive"

I highly doubt anyone is going to pry you for further information - keep it light but vague but be honest - dont lie because that will just lead to you having to make up more lies.

Just be honest and maybe suggest a night in round at yours as a social event - no decent person would judge you !

And you could invite them to a free walk or picnic. I think you might find that some of them are in your position but don't have your strength of character.
Create a 'free trip' day - rules are, it's a no spend event. Use your free loyalty coffee drinks if necessary, or supermarket points to buy bread and dips!

I would be more open with them, there’s no reason to judge you for it. If they do - then they’re not friends worth having!

Say you are saving - nothing wrong with it!

Say you are saving - nothing wrong with it!

Say you are saving - nothing wrong with it!

Say it three times!!

How big is the debt, will you have it paid off in a few months or a few years?

@Bluejeansrose78 i would just be honest if you feel able to. You don’t need to go into great detail or let them know eg if you’re in debt, so perhaps just something innocuous like I have some urgent repairs coming up I’m saving for so have only budgeted very limited funds for socialising. Knowing this your friends may change the types of events to include perhaps more budget friendly like picnics, walks etc which may give you more of a chance to join in?

If you carry on as you are they will stop asking you because it sounds like you don’t want their company.

Definitely be more honest and also suggest free or cheaper things. It could well be that others are struggling and end up overspending so they don't miss out.

But have you built socialising into your budget and minimised the cost of your debt with 0% deals?

Even with formal repayment solutions you're allowed some non essentials so don't go too hardcore on repayments, especially if the debt isn't costing you too much.

You don't have to say it's money troubles, just that you are reorganising your finances and are on a strict budget that you need to adhere to. This could mean saving up for something, creating a rainy day fund etc. If you come up with ideas that don't cost a lot like a picnic then she will understand you're still interested in her company but just can't drop a load of cash on going out.

They are more likely to stop inviting them if you just keep saying no rather than being honest and explaining why it’s temporary!

With friends I tend to be honest and say it’s not in my budget.
They don’t need to know why and generally understand.