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Parental re sponsibility? advice please urgent

4 replies

taken4granted · 19/05/2008 19:00

My git of an ex p want to apply for parental responsibilty (dd is 7 yrs old and we werent married so he doesnt get it automaitically) if he applies to court will he get it automatically? what can I do to stop this as he hasnt done a thing with her in 7 yrs apart from pay the bills and now hes walked out and he has a new partner he's playing at being a nasty bugger - and threatening to take her away (dd) He sees her once a fortnight she doesnt stay overnight as she doesnt want to and when she sees him she has nightmares she is also very sensitive since the split and insecure which she never was before. He refuses to try and be amicable once I pointed out that I intend to apply for his share of equity in property to be transferred into dds name in trust so that we can afford a house nearby - he earns £150k per annum I earn £6k per annum ( a huge difference) and with my share of the equity Id be hard pushed to buy something outright and with my earnings I cannot get a mortgage to supplement my share of the equity so I will have no option to move hundreds of miles away which will mean dd wont be able to see him on a regular basis and therefore have very little if any relationship with her (despite her being his no 1 proprity - after golf himself himself and himself) All advice would be gratefully received. I cant exactl;y afford to go to court even with legal aid I still have to pay for it and I dont earn enough for costly solicitors.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 19/05/2008 19:04

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taken4granted · 19/05/2008 19:07

No she used to have night terrors last yr for about 2 yrs and then they stopped - and they have returned with a vengence - but only when she has seen him or spoke to him on the phone (3x per week) she wont sleep in her bed and will only go to sleep with me in my bed Thnks for bumping

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mumblechum · 19/05/2008 19:10

First of all, try to calm down!

PR is a bundle of rights and responsibilities, inc. the right to be consulted about educational, religious and medical issues. If granted to your ex, it doesn't mean he can take her away from you.

Most of the time the court will grant PR as it's generally best for the child if the parents can work together, eg on issues such as which school your daughter attends.

Looking now at the contact issue, if he's not happy with the current arrangements, first of all you should try mediation, and if that doesn't work out, he can make an application for a defined contact order.

From what you've told me, he doesn't have grounds for residence (custody).

On the money side, you're doing the right thing by applying for a Schedule One order to have housing during her childhood.

In a nutshell, if you don't want him to have PR you could let him make an application to the court however I would advise against refusing, as by doing so you're likely to force his hand into making an application for defined contact which as you know could be pretty expensive in terms of costs.

I'd advise going to mediation, agreeing within the mediation process to a parental responsibility agreement (simple form, no court hearing) and ask the mediators to help you reach agreement re. the contact.

You obviously need a solicitor to make the appln for your Schedule One order (re the house) as it's fairly technical.

taken4granted · 19/05/2008 19:21

Mumblechum thks I know youre the one to ask - Hes now refusing to answer my calls so I will let my sol know I want to go to mediation - I think I have to anyway for the sch 1 order anyway. The way I see it if he transfer the equity to his dd in trust then he will be able to maintain contact with her as I will have a chance of getting somewhere nearby otherwise we will have to go hundreds of miles away and I know from bitter experience he will not maintain this as his other interests (golf himself etc will be more important he refused access during the working week because he didnt want to finish work early in order to see her yet he rings her at 6pm some times from his flat so he could see her if he made the effort but he chooses not to

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