Financial abuse

[mugofcocoa]

HI,

I am concerned that my younger sister is financially abusing our mum. Mum is 74 but totally with it cognitively. I have become aware that sister is regularly borrowing money from mum. Her mobile phone contract is in mum's name and she also has a credit that is in mum's name. I have discussed this with mum and she thinks I am overreacting as she consented to all of it and doesn't mind. It just doesn't sit right with me - WWYD?

If she’s ‘with it’ then there’s not much you can do - she’s choosing to give money to her child! I get it may seem annoying or unfair but doesn’t sound like she’s being taken advantage of if she’s happy with the situation?

Do you think that enough money is involved to threaten your mum's financial security?

Lots of parents support their kids financially. How old is your sister?

She is 38 but lives at home with mum following a relationship breakdown. No, it's not HUGE sums in terms of the borrowing. I think that she owes mum about 3k. It's more the credit card in mums name that bothers me as I think it's about 6k owing. I just think she is taking advantage of mum. I know that she has struggled to pay the CC bill a couple of times and mum has stepped in. I am worried that she will ruin mum's credit score.

If your mum is ok with it, and no cognitive issues then I don’t see the problem.

Many parents help their children out financially.

Unless you think your sister is coercing her, there’s bot much you can do.

I certainly couldn't evience it as being 'coercion' but I do think that mum is probably too nice to say no. Mum just thinks that if she can help then why not. I accept that it's her money but where does it end?

I am an adult social worker and deal with these issues everyday. From what you’ve said, no it does not sound like financial abuse. Safeguarding and the police would not do anything with this information. Your mother has the mental capacity to make these decisions. If this changes however, then there are things that can be put in place to safeguard her. This also applies if you can evidence abuse/coercive control. Does she have power of attorney sorted, in the event she loses mental capacity to make decisions re her finances? This is something I strongly advise clients to do, well anyone really. It’s not ideal she’s putting credit cards in her name, but it’s your mother’s decision ultimately

What is your sister's financial situation? Does she work? Does she pay your mum rent and contribute to bills? If she is living with your mum and paying nothing, what is she using all this money for?

I don't think that legally it is financial abuse because your mum knows what she is doing and is happy to do it, but as she has no control over your sister's spending, she could end up in a mess with the credit card if she can't afford to make the monthly payments.