Afternoon all,
Just looking for a bit of perspective.
I’ve been with my partner for nearly 10 years, and we’ve recently started trying for a baby. He moved into my house around five years ago — it’s fully owned by me, and I’ve never asked him to pay rent. It didn’t feel right to charge rent when it’s not his property, though he does split groceries and utility bills with me.
Fast forward to now: he’s got a decent job, earns an average professional salary for someone in their mid-thirties, and has no housing costs — meaning his disposable income is easily over £2,000 a month.
Meanwhile, I earn more than him but work 60+ hours a week and am starting to feel worn down. I’m also getting increasingly irritated by how carelessly he spends money on random stuff, simply because he can.
This has started to bother me. If we stay together forever, he’s essentially lived a rent-free life, saved thousands, while I’ve done all the hard work paying for the property and overworking. It doesn’t feel fair.
I’ve floated the idea of him buying into the house — not because I need the money, but because it would feel more equal and give him some skin in the game. I’d probably work a bit less too. But every time I mention it, he either brushes it off or seems hesitant.
I’ve also considered us buying somewhere new together, but this house is perfect for us, and I’d rather not go through the hassle (and cost) of moving, especially with stamp duty.
I know if things went wrong and he owned a share, I’d need to buy him out — I’m not worried about that. It just feels like I’ve shouldered the serious financial stuff while he’s coasted a bit.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?