Savings on maternity leave - help me get some perspective pls

[Illprobsregretthis]

Not sure if this is something anyone has experienced before but I’m on maternity leave - in the final unpaid month before I start working again - and I’m really struggling with the idea of using my savings for this time.

It’s going to be an incredibly expensive month - I’ll be commuting to London twice via flight, we have 3 weddings, 2 baby showers, friends coming up to stay, some big social events and we just bought a house so have lots of costs from boiler inspections etc. I will need to get my nails and hair done etc as I’ll be attending some really high profile work events so I do need to look my best professionally. Obviously will need to get some outfits for the social events too because I had 2 babies in 2 years so have been living exclusively in activewear and casual clothes!

Logically I know this is what savings are for, but I feel really uncomfortable with the idea of using my money for this reason. I didn’t grow up with money so it’s probably a reaction to this but it just feels irresponsible to be taking a decent chunk out for a month.

I just struggle psychologically with seeing the balance reduce when I don’t have a “meaningful” reason to spend… like a house or a car or some other investment.

Does anyone else struggle with this? Can you all just collectively tell me to get a grip? I’m not grippy with spending money on other people so I don’t begrudge the gifts etc, it’s exclusively the spending on myself I struggle with.

Obv aware I am lucky to even have savings to spend, that cost of living is really high etc so not really looking for a bashing in that regard if possible.

Whose ,money would you rather use? If you need stuff then you have to buy it

What are you saving for if not to make future life easier?

Unless you can avoid attending those events or can spend a lot less on them, your choices are back to work earlier or spend your savings. You therefore have to view spending your savings as the best option for you right now.

I totally get this. Grew up with no money and struggle with reducing my safety net especially with non-essentials. I think we do have to remind ourselves that it's important to live a bit too. It also helped me to think about the savings I used while on unpaid mat leave as buying time, not things. I was buying time that I didn't have to return to work and could spend with my babies which of course was priceless.

I don’t understand your problem. If you don’t want to spend your savings, cut down on some of these events, or your hair and nail treatments. You don’t need new outfits, check on vinted or in your wardrobe.

Why do you have to commute to London via flight?

also without knowing the size of your savings it’s a bit hard to comment really.

Are we talking using £3000 out of £50,000 savings, or £3000 out of £7000 savings? It really all depends...

Because it would be a long walk

Thanks for understanding, that’s exactly it! It’s absolutely important to live a little too, but I can’t get over the deprivation mentality. It’s definitely the way I grew up. Love the idea of buying time with your babies.

Yeah it’s a small % in the grand scheme of things. 3.75% is what my calculator is telling me!

Thank you! This is a great way to think about it

Okay so 3.75% isn't too scary when stated like that. Maybe it would help to work out how quickly you can replace that money in your savings when you're back to work?

When you say you don’t have a ‘meaningful’ reason to do it - does it help to see things as spending that month mainly with your children while they’re young. And that being a meaningful, and financially valuable thing to do.

Because I’m going to guess if you were earning these costs would be covered by salary and you wouldn’t be second guessing them. So, your alternative is go back to earning sooner. At which point, the time with family may seem a very valid reason to use savings. Because if savings aren’t for protecting family life and welfare, what are they for?

I felt a bit like this too but remind myself that we saved more than usual when I was pregnant, so actually we’ve probably come out level. If I hadn’t been pregnant / had the baby we wouldn’t have poured as much as we did into savings when we could.

This is exactly it, thank you! The perspective I needed to read

Yeah we did too! Another lovely way to see it

3.75% is fine and well worth putting your mind at rest about an expensive month, in my opinion it’s exactly what savings are for, and if you’re going back to work I’m sure you’ll be able to replenish it. Just use what you need to and enjoy the month of so many lovely things going on without any financial concerns. Imagine how much worse it would be if you didn't have a pot to take out of!

Smashing - go enjoy the last chunk of your block of leave with your kids.

Enjoy the trips. Enjoy treating yourself. Remind yourself your family is well worth it and this is what the savings are for.

And it’s a final hurrah celebration, so don’t scrimp - get the treats and extras (for you and them).

If you can afford to move house, then you can afford to spend 3.74% of your savings!

Ooh yes I second this, this is the perfect way to put it!

If you can pay for two return flights, 3 weddings, 2 baby showers, hair and nails, new clothes, multiple big social events, boiler servicing and hosting visitors out of a mere 3.75% of your savings, I think you'll be fine. The interest earned over the next year will pay for it for a start.