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Worried about in-laws and finances

6 replies

kel1910 · 24/04/2025 10:25

Not really too sure where to put this, but just hoping someone can give me some advice as I am at my wits end with worry. I'm very, very nervous posting.

My in-laws have historically not been great with money. Won't do into the ins and outs but in general, not great.

They have been talking about moving and downsizing for years - they live in the middle of nowhere and there isn't anything around for either of them and we can see them both getting into a rut with their mental health (not getting out, very reclusive etc) They are now at a point where they are ready to move. However, they have significant debt on their house still, over £100k, which is more than the it was bought for. I'm not certain how it's been racked up, there's been guesses of them being on an interest only mortgage which would check out as in the past they'd complained of 'poor financial advice'. MIL also has a fear of credit checks which makes a bit of sense. They'd make a fair profit on the house even with the debt, but what is left would only just cover a new property and would probably leave them with not much else. They've both retired so pensions are coming in, but I know one was cashed in early so that has made a dent on finances too.

So essentially, they're stuck unless they rent, which they don't really want to do. They could also tweak where and what they're looking to buy but we know all of that.

Selfishly, my worry now is is that my husband and his siblings will eventually inherit the house, and then the debt. They're not the type of family to sit down together and talk through plans, they very much shoot from the hip, give up on things quickly and panic over the smallest issues. There was a plan this week to talk to an estate agent to get the ball rolling on their house, which is now not going ahead as they've been told they can't get a new mortgage so they feel there is no point in selling. My husband has just given up on talking about it to them, but then should he be pushing to get this sorted so his parents are comfortable and can enjoy their retirement rather than panic about a debt. Just seems like everyone's burying heads.

Is there anyone we/they could talk to about their situation? I know that debt is going nowhere unless they do something drastic but can citizens advice/a financial adviser help them with how to make the most of the situation they're in. I don't particularly want to get involved but this affects me and my family too, or am I just making a mountain out of a molehill?

TIA - please be kind!

OP posts:
boredwfh · 24/04/2025 10:33

Are they paying the debt on the house & is it manageable? I assume it’s a mortgage. If so How long is left on it? If it’s affordable & they are managing, they’d be be best off staying where they are. When they die the house will be sold to pay the debt & any remaining would be distributed tas per the will of they have one. Apart from location, I’m not sure why they’d sell up?

PaintDecisions · 24/04/2025 10:35

If they can buy outright with the profit, they don't need a mortgage so where is the issue?

Hadalifeonce · 24/04/2025 10:39

Assuming you are in the UK, debts do not get inherited. If your ILs are still in their current house when they die, the sale of the house will pay any debts. If there isn't enough equity of cash to do that, the debt will die with them.

CandidHedgehog · 24/04/2025 11:32

Hadalifeonce · 24/04/2025 10:39

Assuming you are in the UK, debts do not get inherited. If your ILs are still in their current house when they die, the sale of the house will pay any debts. If there isn't enough equity of cash to do that, the debt will die with them.

This. Your DH might not inherit a penny but unless he does something silly like guaranteeing a mortgage or does something else to take on responsibility for the debts, he won’t owe any money either.

Lifestooshort71 · 25/04/2025 07:52

As an extra to all the good advice above, the chances of both IL dying at the same time is remote, so I do think you're correct in wanting them settled somewhere where just one of them could be comfortable and manage financially. A house in the middle of nowhere for an elderly person with money worries will be a worse situation for you all than it is now - I'm presuming they're getting on in years?

Bjorkdidit · 25/04/2025 08:27

No-one can inherit debt, so no need to worry about that. If they die with debts that exceed their assets, it's just written off.

Unless their credit rating is trashed, which is a possibility, they could get a small mortgage, after all, it sounds like they'll have a very decent deposit and pension income is as secure as it gets, it's not like income from employment, that can be lost due to being unable to work.

And presumably with the state pension and some other pension on top, they'll have £2k+ coming in pm, so enough to support a relatively low mortgage. Many lenders will do mortgages for retired people, they could talk to a broker to see what's possible.

Alternatively, what's availability of social housing for older people like where they could live - near a town with amenities. Or could they afford private rented, using their residual equity to help with the cost - put in a decent instant access account could yield a significant income top up, but of course that relies on them not blowing it on fast cars, or other money pits like caravans.

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