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Original poster

Age gap / finance

43 replies

Misstigglewinkle · 23/04/2025 12:47

Hello,
i wonder if anyone can offer any advice. My partner of 30 years is 68, he gets state pension of £205 pw, he still works as a HGV driver, I have been suffering since my Father died, and dave been diagnosed with polymyalgia rheumatica , osteoarthritis, osteoporosis and bursitis in both hips, I am really struggling to do stuff! We have three children, one has left home but the others are at home, both in full time education. My partner would like to stop work soon as he too is finding it hard , but we cannot live off his state pension, i get child benefit, and he does have a small private pension ( which he hasn’t claimed as yet ) . When I have asked if there is any financial help for us, i have been repeatedly told no! If we were both pensioners we would get pension credit but we are not!
I have worked all my life as has he, we have never claimed any benefits and it seems very unfair that we cannot get any help!
anyone know any different ?
thankyou in advance xx

OP posts:
redphonecase · 23/04/2025 12:48

Sounds like he hasn't saved adequately for his retirement. Have you? How old are enough and what will your private pension be?

MissWishaw · 23/04/2025 12:53

When will you be getting your pension? Fair enough that he is 68 and doesn't want to work as a HGV driver and how much will his private pension add to the pot?

APSSucks · 23/04/2025 12:56

Are you eligible for PIP (health-related)?
What about Universal Credit?

Look into those to see if you might be eligible. PIP is based on you as an individual; I think UC is household based.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/04/2025 12:56

How old are you and your kids OP?

WitchesofPainswick · 23/04/2025 12:57

How old are you and what is your savings/pension provision?

It's not unreasonable of him to want to stop work at 68! When did you last work and is there any sort of work that you will be able to do?

My husband is retired and I had hoped that this part of our lives would be great, with me finally working full time! But I've been disabled by M.E. and struggle to work myself. These situations are very difficult to manage but unfortunately part and parcel of getting older.

DenholmElliot11 · 23/04/2025 13:00

Surely he can retire on the state pension plus a small private pension. have you actually sat down together and down the math?

I don't blame either of you wanting to retire but it's more a case of you having to make it work. How old are you? Do you have a private pension? How much money do you need? How much is the shortfall if any? How do you propose to fund the shortfall?

Lots to plan and think about.

Start by working out how much money you need.

blueleavesgreensky · 23/04/2025 13:26

You have worked all your life so you are working right? Can your dh find a part time job that isn’t too arduous but that would top up your pay and his pension?

thepariscrimefiles · 23/04/2025 13:36

Depending how old you are, could you take early retirement on health grounds? You might then be able to access your work pension early. As other posters have said, currently PIP is not means tested so you could apply for that.

ShanghaiDiva · 23/04/2025 13:55

How old are you and what’s your retirement provision?
Can you reduce your hours to part time?
can you partner work part time in a less demanding role?

Original poster
Misstigglewinkle · 23/04/2025 14:27

DenholmElliot11 · 23/04/2025 13:00

Surely he can retire on the state pension plus a small private pension. have you actually sat down together and down the math?

I don't blame either of you wanting to retire but it's more a case of you having to make it work. How old are you? Do you have a private pension? How much money do you need? How much is the shortfall if any? How do you propose to fund the shortfall?

Lots to plan and think about.

Start by working out how much money you need.

Sadly no, his private pension will not be very much !
Yes we have done the maths, and we do not have enough if he retires to even cover the bills , by bills I mean council tax, water rates, gas/electric, state pension is £226 a week !
what I wanted to know is if we can get any help with having two children at home ?

OP posts:
Alltheusefulitems · 23/04/2025 14:32

Have you used the entitled to website to check if there are any benefits you might be able to claim?

PerkyGreenCat · 23/04/2025 14:33

How old are you? How old are the children? How much income does your husband have coming in? What is your income? Do you work? Do you claim disability benefits? PIP isn't means-tested.
Have you checked a benefit calculator such as Entitled To? www.entitledto.co.uk

ambercabs · 23/04/2025 14:34

It is UC you would need to claim as a mixed age couple, not pension credit. They do take the state pension as income and deduct accordingly.

OnArainyNight · 23/04/2025 14:37

How old are you and the children?

Original poster
Misstigglewinkle · 23/04/2025 14:38

APSSucks · 23/04/2025 12:56

Are you eligible for PIP (health-related)?
What about Universal Credit?

Look into those to see if you might be eligible. PIP is based on you as an individual; I think UC is household based.

I haven't applied for pip, I am able to look after myself without help( for now) and universal credit said we didn't qualify for any help ? They said his state pension was above the amount a family requires to live off? £226 a week!

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 23/04/2025 14:38

Do you claim PIP? That’s not a means tested benefit, so regardless of your income/household income you can claim and receive that.

Depending on how old you are & your health you may be able to claim UC, but if you’re deemed to be able to work by them then you will have to get a job and work 30 hours a week unless your children are very young (as in under 3 years old). If you refuse to work you won’t get any UC.

Ultimately though you will between you have to figure out who can work what hours to make ends meet. Maybe both working 15 hrs a week rather than either one of you trying to work full time?

GardenGaff · 23/04/2025 14:42

Are you currently working OP?

Do you own your house?

How old are your children who are at home and in education?

ambercabs · 23/04/2025 14:46

Misstigglewinkle · 23/04/2025 14:38

I haven't applied for pip, I am able to look after myself without help( for now) and universal credit said we didn't qualify for any help ? They said his state pension was above the amount a family requires to live off? £226 a week!

Show quote history

If you have already been told you won’t qualify for UC and don’t meet the criteria for PIP what is it you are asking? There are no other benefits for you

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 23/04/2025 14:47

redphonecase · 23/04/2025 12:48

Sounds like he hasn't saved adequately for his retirement. Have you? How old are enough and what will your private pension be?

Plenty of people won’t be earning enough to save in a private pension that will cover their retirement. And at 68 he would have been in to his fifties before employer pension contributions were compulsory, so won’t have had a lifetime of working with that benefit either.

kaela100 · 23/04/2025 15:06

Who did you speak to when you asked for financial help? You should be talking to a solicitor that advises on PIP / DLA claims and tell them exactly how your symptoms impact your day to day life. They can tell you if you qualify. There may or may not be a cost attached to this - just call a few solicitors to find out

ambercabs · 23/04/2025 15:08

kaela100 · 23/04/2025 15:06

Who did you speak to when you asked for financial help? You should be talking to a solicitor that advises on PIP / DLA claims and tell them exactly how your symptoms impact your day to day life. They can tell you if you qualify. There may or may not be a cost attached to this - just call a few solicitors to find out

A solicitor?

They can’t decide if you qualify for PIP it’s down to the DWP

Specialswimmingp00lforwho · 23/04/2025 15:13

Op claim PIP here
It is not means tested
You can still work if you are able & claim PIP or not work, it is up to you

https://www.gov.uk/pip

Personal Independence Payment (PIP)

Personal Independence Payment (PIP) - how and when to claim, rates, eligibility, change of circumstances, claiming due to a terminal illness.

https://www.gov.uk/pip

redphonecase · 23/04/2025 15:17

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 23/04/2025 14:47

Plenty of people won’t be earning enough to save in a private pension that will cover their retirement. And at 68 he would have been in to his fifties before employer pension contributions were compulsory, so won’t have had a lifetime of working with that benefit either.

Show quote history

Yes but it shouldn't be a surprise on the point of retirement.....

thepariscrimefiles · 23/04/2025 15:20

Misstigglewinkle · 23/04/2025 14:38

I haven't applied for pip, I am able to look after myself without help( for now) and universal credit said we didn't qualify for any help ? They said his state pension was above the amount a family requires to live off? £226 a week!

Show quote history

Do they know that you have two chlidren? I googled it and got the response:

A family with two children on £900 per month likely qualifies for Universal Credit, a monthly payment designed to help with living costs. The specific amount of Universal Credit would depend on their household circumstances, including savings, other income, and childcare costs.

Maybe because you said that your DH was in receipt of a state pension, they assumed that he wouldn't have young children at home. Use the benefits calculator provided by another poster to check again.