Not divorced house dilemma

[Prettypickled]

Looking for advice, I have been separated from my husband for a long time and he has remained in our house which we own together. We have a vulnerable child who needs stability and my husband's elderly relative lives there too so I have gone along with the arrangement. I have never been keen on rocking the boat. We have no financial arrangements in place, he's clear that he doesn't want the sell the house or buy me out. I live in a rented house. As time has gone on my thoughts about this arrangement have changed.mainly because I would like to buy a property rather than paying rent but of course my equity is in the house. I'm not sure quite what to do.

Are you divorced?

It is in the thread title!

🙄

You need to pursue divorce and agree a financial settlement.

Time to file for divorce and move on with your life.

Get legal advice because it can’t go on likenrhid

If you own it jointly you need a financial settlement, he can't just move his parents in while you rent.where does your child live. Tough luck on him, it's your house and money, see a solicitor, get divorced, force a sale or he and his parents buy you out.

Of course he doesn’t want to sell up or buy you out- he’s got full benefit of your marital asset while you pay up out to accommodate yourself and your vulnerable child. He’ll happily carry on profiting from you for as long as you let him.

You don’t need his permission to divorce. Get legal advice, start divorce proceedings, force the house sale.

He is clear that he doesn't want the sell the house or buy me out.
You need to be just as clear he has to do one as his favoured option of taking the p out of you has ended.

Go see a solicitor and get the ball rolling. You can do the actual divorce online by yourself which is cheaper but you will probably need solicitor help regarding the financial split and your child. Don't finish the divorce (decree absolute) without getting the other two agreed on by the courts.

Who is looking after the vulnerable child most of the time btw? If it's him then you might get a lot less than you are thinking, but you need to draw a line under it all regardless,.

Thank you for all your comments. I need to gather my courage. Towards the end of our marriage I found myself very much on the back foot and just took the easy way out and left. But I have paid rent for five years and it would seem far more sensible to try and buy somewhere.

How old is your child and where will he live once the sale has gone through?

Just remember that a court will only expect him to be able to house your joint child so a two bed house would be reasonable expectation, however he might have to move to a different location to be able to afford it. It will not be down to you to give him enough to house his parent as well.

But yes, whatever the outcome, it seems it is time to make a legal split. You might not be able to rent when you retire/lose job and then what? Secure your future so you have a stable home. Pay for a one off consultation to find out your rights.