Feel like the worst daughter ever

[Colegs]

Hi,

I’ve gotten into an awful financial situation and have dragged my mum into it. I had to leave mu marriage in 2021 and left with nothing, plus a load of debt. I had to move back in with mum to get back on my feet.

I needed to sort out my debts and in hindsight I should’ve looked for professional help. Instead, mum allowed me to take out some credit cards in her name and transfer the balances from my higher interest card to her 0% offers. This worked for a while and with mums consent, I moved the balances around to keep interest low. my own credit score was nowhere good enough to secure my own 0% deals.

The 0% deals gave dried up now and I’m really struggling to make the payments. The credit card companies have offered reduced payment plans. This would freeze interest and allow me to repay it at a more manageable rate. The downside is that it will ruin mum’s credit score. Mum said she doesn’t care as she has no need to apply for any borrowing and therefore her credit score is not relevant.

for clarity, mum is 76, in decent health and no cognitive impairment.

Would you go with the reduced payment offer?

Yes, but I'd also clamp down as hard as possible on my spending. You cannot carry on as you are.

Take lunch to work, no holiday this year, cancel any subscriptions, no takeaways or meals out. You'll feel much better when this isn't hanging over your head.

Can you get an evening job to up your income?

I think so. Does your mum have a secure home, ie she owns it or is in housing association property or similar?

What's your plan now for managing this in the future?

Can you take on any of the debt now at 0% if its been some time since your previous issues? Look on Moneysavingexpert.com for links to cards you might qualify for and for debt advice in general.

Does your DM have any savings she could use to pay off the debt and you repay her? Has she tried to move the debt to new offers?

How much is owed and how much can you pay each month? The problem with the debt being in your DMs name is that ability to pay will be based on her income and outgoings not yours.

Have you posted about this before?

Sounds like you don’t have a choice. If you don’t pay then they may send bailiffs and you have her consent.

Have you sought professional help (StepChange is free, for example) now?

If not, why not? This sounds exactly the moment where you should get proper advice, not only about the repayment plan, but how you will go about clearing the debt long term. If you were unable to do that on 0% cards, have circumstances changed that mean you now think you can do it with a repayment plan in place?

I haven’t but I have also read posts from people in similar circumstances

Yes as the interest is crippling me- the repayment plan will make it more manageable

I’ve lay awake for most of the night feeling wretched. I love mum very much and hate feeling that I’ve taken advantage