My nephew is overseas and not getting educated, can my brother do anything?

[anamechanger]

My brother had shared access with his 10 YO son. Last year the mum got the opportunity to move abroad (France). She wrote a formal request to my brother, explaining how it would benefit their son. My brother spoke to his lawyer who said he could delay the move but in reality he couldn't stop it, because it set out a better standard of life than he had in UK, etc. So he agreed he could go (the son wanted to go).

8 months down the line.... well things are not as promised by the mother, and the son is having a life which is far less enjoyable and far less stimulating than the life he had in the UK (he told me when I was over there that he is not happy).

The biggest problem however is that he still doesn't speak a word of the language and has not understood a single thing in class since he arrived. None of the lessons are in English. he has scheduled language lessons within the school, but has apparantly been skipping them (he told my brother they don't care if he doesn't turn up). The mum has apparantly done nothing about this and feels the son will get round to learning the language when he wants to. The mum has always had a 'laissez-faire' attitude to her son - most diplomatic way I can think of terming it)

My brother is reluctant to even bother speaking to the lawyers again - every time he gets them involved he suffers consequences in terms of custody issues and he feels that he never gets anywhere anyway - he has never really gained anything from the courts, and it stresses his son out (I really can't go into detail with what I mean by this - public forum and all that). Ideally my DB would like to have his son back in the UK (either with him or living with his mum). Can he force them all to come back (she has a 2nd husband and another child - they all emigrated together), under these circumstances? Can he force them to do more for his son? And what happens if the mother ignores any court rulings made in this regard (she has ignored rulings before)?

Obv. there is much much more I could say but this is a public forum and it wouldn't be fair to lay things out in public, but suffice to say we are all very concerned about the situation and are looking for advice on what could be done here in legal terms (talking to the mum, BTW, doesn't work). The son obviously loves the mother to bits (as he loves his Dad) and although I think he would be much happier living with my brother (previous social worker reports have commented to this effect), I guess that if he were asked who he wanted to live with, he would probably say his mum (I don't think he would ever say otherwise and risk upsetting his mum). My brother is despondant and doesn't see a way out.

Any advice, please?

Of course he can't force them all to come back, and you need to remember that you and your brother are not getting the full picture.

It takes time to settle into a new country, and I bet your nephew has picked up some of the language and does understand it, if he hasn'r after 8 months of being there then there is something wrong with him, which I'm sure there isn't.

What your nephew needs is stability and love. I'm sure his mother loves him and cares about him and makes sure his needs are met and he is happy. He'd probably choose his mum because that's what he wants, not because he';s afraid of upsetting her.

No you are wrong in your assumptions, but the details aren't really something I can splash out in full here - it would be very disrespectful of my nephew. I can give you one example - no running water. and he isn't learning partly because his mum thinks education isn't important, and he often skips school and stays at home instead. He was a bright little thing but his confidence has dropped through the floor with all the changes.

What's wrong with having no running water? I grew up in a place that had no running water and where I couldn't speak the language. Believe me, I soon picked it up.

School isn't the only place where one can get an education either. Lots of people don't believe in school, you never seen the HE threads?

If his confidence has dropped through the floor through all the changes then the last thing he needs is more change and disruption.

Overmydeadbody, I really cannot spell out everything here. But I assure you, if he was getting a happy upbringing, then - even if it were the most unusual upbringing in the world - I would back off. But we are not talkign about some alternative hippy/home-ed lifestyle here. He is desperately unhappy, their whole family situation is desperately unhappy. Social workers have been involved with the family in the UK, the police have been involved. For years my brother has been in pieces about the traumas his son has been through, but he has always dropped out of any of the really big fights because he doesn't want his son used as a punchbag. Now though, the lack of schooling is going to destroy not just his childhood, but his adulthood too.

We know that legally the mum must abide by the terms of the court order that allowed her to take him out of the country, and that they can be compelled to bring him back if they breach any of the terms (they have breached every single one) but what we need to know is whether the courts can do anythign to enforce any changes really - ie will my brother suceed if he tries to force them to comply with the terms of the court order, or is the legal stuff just hot air in practice?