Hi there, changed my name for this as it's a bit sensitive, but I would appreciate any thoughts...
Bit of history
- my Mum died a couple of years ago
- my Dad lives on his own, a long way from where we (DH & DS & DD) live
- I also have an older brother (single, gay, no kids)who also lives quite far away from my Dad
Although they appear on 'OK' terms and speak quite regularly, my brother & Dad didn't used to get on particularly well - long story, but stuff about him not doing well at school/ being gay/ getting into debt etc etc
Anyway Dad has recently been sorting out his finances and planning for inheritance tax issues etc and has decided that he wants to transfer ownership of one of two houses he owns to myself, my 2 kids and my brother in equal 25% shares (or a trust or whatever for the kids).
He has also give me a copy of his new will (since my Mum died) which would mean that on the event of his death his estate would be divided in the same way.
He hasn't given my brother a copy, and when I asked why he said beacause my brother didn't need to know.
I told my Dad that although it was generous of him towards our kids, I thought my brother would be rathe upset by it, and that anyway, we didn't need his inheritance as much as my brother might (although in his 40s, my brother lives in rented accommodation and has debts, whereas we have our own house and some savings).
Anyway some of my Dad's true feeligns then came out I think beacause he went on about not wanting my brother to squander his money, and how the (grand)kids education was more important, and how both my brotehr & I had 'had equal chances' and shown what we could make of them...etc etc
I know my brother will be really upset and angry about this if and when he finds out. And I also know that his anger will be directed at me, as he'll assume I have influenced my Dad to do this (which I haven't).
I spoke to a tax advisor friend who said that it was a 'highly unusual' way to split an estate, and that when the time comes, if I wanted to, I could contest the will anyway and suggest a 50/50 split between my brotehr & I.
I know this seems strange to be worrying about this now, but I don't know whether I should be trying to influence my Dad now to change it, or to simply respect his wishes?
Sorry for rambling, but it's really playing on my mind, and I feel like I'm carrying a nasty secret around...