How do I stop stressing about money as a SAHM?

[DonutEnvy]

I am currently a SAHM to my 3 young kids, my DH is earning well enough to cover all of the bills and have some for spending and a couple hundred for saving in our joint acc.

I can’t help but constantly stress about money though- are we making enough/ are we spending too much (we usually don’t splurge on things unless really needed).
Sometimes I take my stress of the kids and money stress out on DH which isn’t fair.

I think I compare to others which I know I shouldn’t do.
How do you avoid stressing constantly about money (if you’re doing okay)?

The simple answer is to ensure you have full visibility of all finances.

If you know all the ins & outs, what savings exist and where they are, then you will know if you have reason to stress or not, there’s no guesswork involved then.

Sorry to hear that you feel that way about money. Lots of people stress about it though - some people suffer from a scarcity mindset in relation to money which can sufferers feel like they never have enough.

In your specific situation the following ideas might help:

• know how much you have coming in and going out
• have an emergency fund with 3-6 months of your committed expenditure in it

Knowing you have an emergency fund can provide protection against any unexpected expenses which can reduce stress. If you have to spend from it, you can then replace your buffer over time.

Does he pay into a private pension for you?

By getting a job of your own 🥲

As pp said having full visibility , breaking money into pots, and allocating money for each purpose so you know you have enough.

You should have full access to all the family money and if not allowed this, don't be a SAHM

Have you agreed a budget that accounts for all bills, essentials like food, running cars, pension contributions for you, plus annual and irregular expenses like school uniforms, holidays, insurance, Christmas etc. Then an emergency fund on top? Plus some personal money for both of you so you have some money to spend independently and you know its yours to spend or save without affecting the household budget as everything is covered.

If you set a budget and set up standing orders to different accounts or pots to cover all the above you know your money is separated out across what it needs to cover and you just need to keep an eye on things to make sure the amounts are right.

Have a look at https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/ to start with the budget

Often the things we think we’re stressing about aren’t what’s actually worrying us, I’d recommend sitting down alone (if possible) and working out what it is you’re scared of. There’s normally a root cause/ story you’re telling yourself. Once you can verbalise it, ideally share it with your DH you’ll feel better

“We are making enough”. No, he is. That’s where the stress comes from. You don’t have any control over what money is made, as you’re not making any. That puts you at a great disadvantage if you want to leave the marriage. I’d be stressed too.

You’re not stressing about money @DonutEnvy youare stressing because you have no control over it…

I would be stressed too if I was in a family of 5 that can only save a couple of hundred pounds a month and with only one income. Unless you have a lot of savings already it would make for a very precarious situation. It definitely wouldn’t be something I’m comfortable with, but I also wouldn’t be comfortable taking on all the unpaid work to support my partners career. It rately works out well for the woman.