Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Money matters

Find financial and money-saving discussions including debt and pension chat on our Money forum. If you're looking for ways to make your money to go further, sign up to our Moneysaver emails here.

Cannot deal anymore

26 replies

Franny0696 · 16/02/2025 13:50

Urgently need some advice.

For the past 5 years me and my husband have been financially struggling to the point we have to borrow from our parents.

I always have had a solid secure job my husband on the other hand has been in and out of self employment which has totally messed everything us, he's not good with money and has caused a lot of problems for everyone.

For the past 2 years we have been really struggling so bad with the self employment I basically said you have no option but to get a full time employed job cause I cannot carrry on anymore living like this. We have been served a section 21 within the last month so now having to look for somewhere to live but he finally has a new job started beginning of this month.

Suddenly his parents want to set up a meeting with my parents to discuss options for us which I get but it's very intrusive they are wanting all our outgoings and expenses which I have provided to them and they are questioning everything down to a T. They are basically saying we cannot afford to live BLABLA which I get as currently right now we cannot as my husband don't get paid yet so had a month without money in theory.
We are in debt with some household bills but have plans for. I've worked everything out and it yes the next few months but will be tough financially but we have been in worse situation.

Fast forward to now we have found a rental that is looking promising it's £150 a month cheaper and his parents basically said move into a caravan until you sort yourselfs out. I get where they are coming from but we will be fine once we have two household income coming in, I work from home have two kids it's not practical.

My parents have helped out a lot for both us every week. My husband has borrowed a lot from his parents but half of it I have no idea where it's gone as no money that his parents have given him ever comes into the house and I only find out this when I actually speak to them. His parents are like we do this we do that like at my parents but if anything mine help more not just money but being there too.

I feel like this is going to cause a massive row and I cannot deal with it. We have 3 weeks to move and I'm sorting the house applciation tomorrow and now his mum is saying no don't do it blabla. What the hell am I supposed to do I am not living somewhere and not be happy just to pay off debts when I could set up plans and do it that way.

MY husband doesn't say anything to his mum except agree but then says otherwise when he's off the phone literally sick off it.

OP posts:
thepariscrimefiles · 17/02/2025 10:00

InfoSecInTheCity · 16/02/2025 14:38

You've invited this involvement into your finances by constantly borrowing and relying on them to financially support you. The only way to stop it is to assure them you will pay them back and borrow no more.

The money from OP's in-laws goes directly to her DH who doesn't use it for family bills/spending but keeps it for himself.

The money from OP's parents goes towards supporting the whole family. If I were OP, I'd ditch DH and his parents.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page