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Original poster

Children removed from drama school

37 replies

AccountantMum · 14/02/2025 14:52

I have 6 year old twins that attended a weekend drama school, they started late last year after attending a trial. They are the youngest in the small class the rest being 7/8.

I mentioned to the teacher a few weeks ago that my twins were going through an ADHD assessment which school had suggested as they struggle to concentrate and stay still, and on Saturday the teacher spoke to me after the class to say my son had pushed a boy and my daughter had not listened well.
They do struggle with concentrating at times but this would be the first instance of violence - and I spoke with my son who had a differing set of events of which he claims they were lifting each other up (still not what they were meant to be doing).

The teacher emailed me today and said they can only come back to class once they both have specialist 1-1 SEN assistants with them.. stating they are both a danger to staff and students and that during the trial one of them tried to take the radiator off the wall.. I think in essence she doesn't want them to come back which I agree with. (And she was very clear on both needing although there have been no complaints about my daughter apart from not appearing to be concentrating one week)

She has stated she will send a refund if I send bank details - this was in the original email. I think she is planning on refunding half of February payment however - they were made to buy compulsory branded uniform with their names on recently which they will not be able to use and pay an "annual fee" which they claim covers show costumes and other stuff throughout the year. Do you think I would be able to get a refund on these?

I know that she doesn't want them in the class and is not planning on them attending with specialist 1-1 SEN assistants - and they don't need 1-1 assistants they get on well at school and their other extra curricular clubs but I am aware they struggle to sit still and are the youngest there.

OP posts:
HDready · 14/02/2025 14:55

Absolutely ask for all the money back. If she had told you at the time that there had been an incident during the trial presumably you wouldn’t have signed up and paid for the annual cost and uniform? Sounds a bit shit by the drama school to me.

stichguru · 14/02/2025 15:17

Yes she should refund the lot. What was she doing letting them pass the trial despite a fairly major incident?!! Like if they had been good as gold in the trial, then started to behave badly and not be engaged, then fair enough not to refund the things she couldn't re-use like the named uniform, but if you want easy kids, you outright refuse to let the one that's tried to take the radiator off the wall, for ANYTHING after the end of the trial! To allow him on and wait to you've paid for everything is outright taking advantage of your kids.

Lyannaa · 14/02/2025 15:21

It seems really strange to me that she is only now saying they can't come. If their behaviour was that difficult then wouldn't she have raised it with you before?

1SillySossij · 14/02/2025 15:24

Did you declare they were waiting for assessments when you signed them up?

1SillySossij · 14/02/2025 15:26

When were you first aware that they were being put forward for adhd assessment

LittleRedRidingHoody · 14/02/2025 15:27

Eugh. Is it Stagecoach? I had an absolute nightmare with them demanding an extra fees payment because I told them DS was leaving at the end of term and the teacher promptly quit (so the message wasn't passed on).

I would definitely pursue money back, not sure how much of it you'll get though!

GutsyGertrude · 14/02/2025 15:29

Yes, she should refund you for all of it

Lyannaa · 14/02/2025 15:29

Tbh this amounts to disability discrimination. Is it Stage Coach?

HollyBerryz · 14/02/2025 15:30

So everything was fine until you told her they might have adhd and now she's discriminating against them. Nice.

Original poster
AccountantMum · 14/02/2025 15:37

1SillySossij · 14/02/2025 15:26

When were you first aware that they were being put forward for adhd assessment

No I told the teacher in the same week that we had a meeting with the school SENCO and were given questionnaires to fill in

OP posts:
Original poster
AccountantMum · 14/02/2025 15:39

LittleRedRidingHoody · 14/02/2025 15:27

Eugh. Is it Stagecoach? I had an absolute nightmare with them demanding an extra fees payment because I told them DS was leaving at the end of term and the teacher promptly quit (so the message wasn't passed on).

I would definitely pursue money back, not sure how much of it you'll get though!

It's not stage coach - but a similar set up with drama/dance/singing for a few hours on a Saturday

OP posts:
iwantavuvezela · 14/02/2025 15:59

I would ask to see their policy around this (I think a clause that any. child with a learning difference has to have a one to one) - it seems like a case of discrimination here around disability . They would have to be very careful here as this is a protected characteristic by law, and its seems they want your boys out on a flimsy excuse especially with their ages, so young. I would definitely ask them for some paperwork / their policies around children with SEN, you might not want to take the too much further, but they are behaving appalingly , and probably not the place where you children want to stay long term with those attitudes

Original poster
AccountantMum · 14/02/2025 16:19

iwantavuvezela · 14/02/2025 15:59

I would ask to see their policy around this (I think a clause that any. child with a learning difference has to have a one to one) - it seems like a case of discrimination here around disability . They would have to be very careful here as this is a protected characteristic by law, and its seems they want your boys out on a flimsy excuse especially with their ages, so young. I would definitely ask them for some paperwork / their policies around children with SEN, you might not want to take the too much further, but they are behaving appalingly , and probably not the place where you children want to stay long term with those attitudes

Thank you - yes you are correct it is very clear she does not want them in the class and I am also on board with them not going back (Although I do have to let them know they aren't welcome back).

I do not believe at all that she wants / thinks it's best for them to have a 1-1 assistant just that she knows that it would be enough for us to not return.

OP posts:
Original poster
AccountantMum · 14/02/2025 16:21

This is the bottom half of the message I received - I have removed the top as it's identifying for both my children and the drama school:

"Naturally, I know the situation regarding them both awaiting assessment for ADHD and this is something we come across a lot within the school. Several of our students have 121 assistance by a SEN specialist and that they pay for independently. Sadly as a school we cannot afford to offer this individually and we feel that both the children need a specialist each.

I am not at the school tomorrow afternoon and want to ensure that we speak before the children attend.
For the safety of my team, other students and each other going forward unless a 121 assistant is provided for both children then I think it is best that they do not attend until this is in place.

Love and Jazz Hands"

OP posts:
Bornnotbourne · 14/02/2025 16:30

In all honesty I think this is for the best. I’ve seen a child seriously injured from a radiator and this doesn’t sound like a good environment for them. I think drama is actually a difficult hobby for children with concentration problems, remembering directions and lines can often be quite taxing even for older children. There often is some waiting around for your “bit” and children who are not engaged can find this quite boring. It’s a long time for them to be in a hobby and away from you. Perhaps they’d enjoy doing a junior park run with you or even doing some baking with you.

Meem321 · 14/02/2025 16:37

Whether it's 'best or not', it's discrimination against the children and disability is a protected characteristic. It is against the UK law to discriminate because of special needs.

If you're happy to just cut ties, then do. But get a full refund for all money including uniform. If she refuses, tell her you will have to pursue this further and will be consulting a professional to explore the company's discrimination of your children specifically with regards to their undiagnosed special needs.

Then it she still refuses, remind her that her discriminatory comments and personal discriminatory opinions were evidenced in her written communication.

I personally wouldn't want my kids going anywhere near the company again as I'd question their safeguarding procedures if they can be so laissez faire in their email communication. Sound like a bunch of morons .

Please fight to at least get all your expenses reimbursed. And let her know that you've got her number, so to speak.

Crazybaby123 · 14/02/2025 16:59

AccountantMum · 14/02/2025 14:52

I have 6 year old twins that attended a weekend drama school, they started late last year after attending a trial. They are the youngest in the small class the rest being 7/8.

I mentioned to the teacher a few weeks ago that my twins were going through an ADHD assessment which school had suggested as they struggle to concentrate and stay still, and on Saturday the teacher spoke to me after the class to say my son had pushed a boy and my daughter had not listened well.
They do struggle with concentrating at times but this would be the first instance of violence - and I spoke with my son who had a differing set of events of which he claims they were lifting each other up (still not what they were meant to be doing).

The teacher emailed me today and said they can only come back to class once they both have specialist 1-1 SEN assistants with them.. stating they are both a danger to staff and students and that during the trial one of them tried to take the radiator off the wall.. I think in essence she doesn't want them to come back which I agree with. (And she was very clear on both needing although there have been no complaints about my daughter apart from not appearing to be concentrating one week)

She has stated she will send a refund if I send bank details - this was in the original email. I think she is planning on refunding half of February payment however - they were made to buy compulsory branded uniform with their names on recently which they will not be able to use and pay an "annual fee" which they claim covers show costumes and other stuff throughout the year. Do you think I would be able to get a refund on these?

I know that she doesn't want them in the class and is not planning on them attending with specialist 1-1 SEN assistants - and they don't need 1-1 assistants they get on well at school and their other extra curricular clubs but I am aware they struggle to sit still and are the youngest there.

Hi OP, I have an ADHD son and we have been through this with EVERY group class. Asked to leave tennis, stageschool, football, holiday club, swimming and even group ski lessons over the years. Son is now 12.
What I found was that some clubs and activities are adhd friendly, it depends on the teacher and how the class is taught.
For example we tried four different football blclubs until we found one that was more friendly and inclusive with a coach that had experience of adhd. We found a trampolining club with a brilliant coach who could work with adhd kids.
Tennis and skiing we ended up having to pay for individual lessons as was just notnworking in a group setting.
Swimming, I ended up teaching myself as group lessons were a nightmare and dangerous as my child would randomly backflip off the side while waiting for a turn.
I just came to say that you ahould ask for a refund and find another club/stageachool etc but really ask them before hand about teaching kids with adhd, if they have experience etc. Some will and some won't, but there will be some good ones out there who can support SEN needs.

Crazybaby123 · 14/02/2025 17:06

Also adding that it really is upsetting to hear when this happens, but I have come to realise that if the coach has not got the set up, experience and knowledge to work with kids that have adhd then there is no point in the child taking part. They arent getting what the other kids are getting out of it and it is not safe for the child as the coach becomes stressed, the child becomes distressed and the coach doesnt have the knowledge and experience to deal with the additional needs.
Some clubs and coaches do have this experience so you need to find the ones that do.

Bornnotbourne · 14/02/2025 18:20

@Meem321 I understand the point about disability discrimination, however, my son is the same age as these children and I look after children the same age, perhaps 1/10 would be able to engage on this level and I feel at this age it’s inappropriate for children to be away from their parents for so long after they’ve spent all week in school. My son spends 45 minutes at his hobby at weekend whereas his secondary school siblings can manage rehearsals for 2 hours. I spend time with him playing board games, exercising, reading but if he’s tired and his concentration has gone we will just sit and cuddle. They’re very little and I feel these are big expectations!!

lili8448 · 14/02/2025 18:31

I feel your frustration. I took my son for a trial for a football club. The person that ran it came over to me and said we can't take him because his asd as they don't know enough bout it and it wouldn't be fair on the other children. He then said tell him we got no space and I'll tell him he did really well. I said he is autistic not stupid! Sad thing was they literally made the decision based on his diagnosis as he said it at the start at the trial. I did complain but they tried to deny it firstly then said that they don't have to take on children with disabilities something to do with their fa membership. I think that's shocking.

MonotoneHerbivore · 14/02/2025 21:43

Love and jazz hands, seriously?

madamweb · 14/02/2025 21:52

iwantavuvezela · 14/02/2025 15:59

I would ask to see their policy around this (I think a clause that any. child with a learning difference has to have a one to one) - it seems like a case of discrimination here around disability . They would have to be very careful here as this is a protected characteristic by law, and its seems they want your boys out on a flimsy excuse especially with their ages, so young. I would definitely ask them for some paperwork / their policies around children with SEN, you might not want to take the too much further, but they are behaving appalingly , and probably not the place where you children want to stay long term with those attitudes

So the rights of the other children in the class don't matter?

I spend a lot to send my daughter to theatre school because it is her happy place (she is severely dyslexic and school is difficult).

She has got really upset if disruptive children join the class because she actually really wants to do the activities the teacher has planned.

The drama school would be out of business.fast if the tolerated misbehaviour as parents would just go somewhere else.

Lyannaa · 15/02/2025 00:32

So the rights of the other children in the class don't matter?

The law is structured so that people with a disability are not marginalised from society and that there is a level playing field. I wonder why the teacher only decided that the children needed a 1:1 after knowing they might have ADHD? The OP has also stated that her daughter hasn't even done anything of concern at all but the teacher is acting like both children are dangerous now ADHD has been mentioned.

OP, if I were you I would email this awful establishment back, asking to see their disability policy. I would ask them if it adheres to the disability discrimination act and how.

Clearly, you don't want your children attending such an ableist environment (I wouldn't either). But you need to stand up for your children imo. And I would also leave them a bad review in a place where people can see it.

madamweb · 15/02/2025 00:44

Lyannaa · 15/02/2025 00:32

So the rights of the other children in the class don't matter?

The law is structured so that people with a disability are not marginalised from society and that there is a level playing field. I wonder why the teacher only decided that the children needed a 1:1 after knowing they might have ADHD? The OP has also stated that her daughter hasn't even done anything of concern at all but the teacher is acting like both children are dangerous now ADHD has been mentioned.

OP, if I were you I would email this awful establishment back, asking to see their disability policy. I would ask them if it adheres to the disability discrimination act and how.

Clearly, you don't want your children attending such an ableist environment (I wouldn't either). But you need to stand up for your children imo. And I would also leave them a bad review in a place where people can see it.

As a disabled person I am well aware of those rights.

They don't override the rights of others to enjoy the class they have paid to do.

They are qualified rights, not absolute.

madamweb · 15/02/2025 00:45

Also in our experience the teacher tries for a few weeks to get a child to understand the expectations of the class so of course no objection was made straight away