How do you split the bills?

[Brummieboy2014]

The way my partner and I split the bills has caused divided opinions within my family.

So I am with my boyfriend of 10 years, no kids but in a mortgaged home.
We currently put all the income into a starling joint account, transfer the bills over to a nationwide joint account which we then let run its course through the month.
So we are left with “spare” money in the starling joint account.

This money does have to cover petrol and food etc but nevertheless are quite good when it’s comes to money management and are very lucky financially to always be okay.

Now he brings in approx 10k more a year than me and yet everything is spent equally.
The only time we ever see money in our personal accounts is when we transfer over some money for birthdays/Christmas etc so we can’t see what we are buying each other.

however - they spend more than me throughout the month.

now the way I see it, they earn more and they spend more… not because I can’t spend it (I can) but I’m naturally not a big spender. But I have everything I need and so do they.

We are happy. It works for us.

I could go and earn a lot more as I’ve just recently changed careers but it’s because I was unhappy. I’m now in a career that earns less but I am super happy.

My heart is always in the right place and I hate that he earns more because Id love to be the one that provides for them regardless of how much more I earned I’d still share everything.

We are committed, love each other very much and what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine.

how do you feel about this?

Sounds like you are doing things perfectly fine and in a suitable and sustainable way to suit each other and your relationship as a whole - and at the end of the day, that's all that matters :)

In 99% of relationships there will always be one that earns more than the other. And if you're together long enough, that may switch around every few years depending on career changes etc, so it may just even out over the lifetime of the relationship anyway.

We share our money like this since we had children. Everything comes from 1 pot and we discuss any purchases. My oh has always earnt more as I worked part time, but now I'm full time again and earn more than him. I know it doesn't work for lots of people but we are happy with it.

Sounds fine to me. He's a bigger earner and a naturally bigger spender. If you're both happy and have no financial issues, I don't understand why your family thinks there's a problem.

Do you own the property jointly? If you are transferring your earnings into a pot from which the mortgage gets deducted, but you don't own the property, that wouldn't be okay.

Do you both contribute the same amount/same % of your income to your pensions? Obviously it wouldn't be fair if one of you was saving towards a pension and the other one wasn't.