Question re spousal maintenance at divorce

[raisinbran]

My ex and I are getting closer to agreeing the financial split without significantly involving lawyers.

The issue outstanding is regarding spousal maintenace.Does the court have to specify how long it is paid for ( if so how do they determine the numeber of years.) or can you agree yourselves and then present your plan to the court.

I feel I should get it for longer as my husband only has the good salary becsue I gave up my career and he had and will continue to have the freedom to do his job globally. I can't do my old job as he wont be around enough to help with children and by the time the children are older I will have been out of the industry too long.

My solicitor is still vague and everytime I ask him another question its another big cheque.

Any advice appreciated

The general expectation is that spousal maintenance should not be forever. The courts like to have clean breaks, if not at the time of divorce, then within a reasonable time frame. This is often linked to the youngest child's birthday, somewhere between 14th and 18th. After that it's assumed that the wife will have used the time she's been receiving mtce to retrain/take some steps to getting a reasonably paid job.

That's the theory, but I know what you mean about having been out of the industry too long. Whatever your former career was, I suggest that you keep your hand in by working part time if at all possible. If you can't, then when the youngest is at secondary, you would normally be expected to be doing some sort of training or education to improve your prospects.

Assuming yjou're settling everything within a consent order, the term and amount of spousal mtce will be specified. It may taper off in some circs.

Thank you very much for the response. It is really kind of you to give advice when it's your profession.

I guess I just have to work within the rules even if I think its unfair.How do the courts decide how long you'll get it for.?

We were married 13 years have 2 boys 9 and 4 and seperated 1 year in July. My ex does not want a clean break as he wants to keep more of the asests now and in return give me a percentage of his future income( which should also be in my best intrest as the children and I would have enough to live off.)

We are doing a few unconventinal things eg I will keep more money in a sole account and give it back to him as he continues to pay me over the years.His way of regaining my trust.

Final question.
If we presented everything to the court agreed such as asset split,CH and SP maintenance and length of time we were both happy with would the court just pass it on divorce. or would they alter it to fit industry guidelines.

I'd expect you to get it for between 10 and 14 years, possibly tapered off if you expect to go back to work when your four year old is say 11.

The court will sign off whatever agreement the two of you reach so long as it's not biased. As it sounds as though both of you are represented, and as long as both solicitors give it the OK and countersign the consent order, it's unlikely the district judge will look beyond it.

Remember that at any time before your spousal mtce runs out, you can apply for a variation (so can your ex) if circs. change.

Thank you once again the reponses were really useful, clear and to the point. Much appreciated.

No problemo

Raisinbran..

my Dh's ex still gets spousal maintenence now (10 years after the split) but it's at a low level now. Finishes completely when YSD is 16.

Spousal maintenence should be set at a level which allows you to look after the children and (possibly) retrain before it starts to taper off.

i can't see any problem at all with you agreeing the level and presenting it to the court (as long as there is a finish date)

Thanks YCNBS, I suppose I am falling into the bracket of whinging 1st wife.I know my situation is a lot better than others, I just don't know what to retrain in at 38yrs old.

Hi....

Depends how old your kids are, I'd say - If they are quite young, how about thinking about something that will fit around their education? A teacher or something like that?

Takes a few years, but can be quite fulfilling (thinking of being a teacher myself right now!!!!)

If the kids are older, then I suppose you can be a bit more adventurous - what do YOU fancy doing?

If you've got this far without resorting to solicitors, then you are doing something right!