Before I start I realise I’m in a privileged position and to even have these problems are a privilege in itself. But I need to just let this out because I feel close to tears.
My mum died suddenly last March. I was only 30 with a newborn and a broken hearted ten year old. I was and still am utterly heartbroken. I decided we needed to move because I can’t live in this village anymore (I live close to my mum). We decided to get our next and probably forever home. This is with me going back 30 hours. The budget kept going up and up to a point where our mortgage has gone up 2.5 times what we pay now. We worked it out. We could afford it and still afford to go on holiday and have a few luxuries and savings etc, better area for our kids and closer to other family. 3 months ago we had around 15k in savings between us (majority of my share was inheritance).
in the past 3 months my OH bought me a ring (we’re engaged). Our car, which I love, had a massive problem thst cost 3.5k to fix. A day later it made a weird noise, took it to the mechanic (a good friend and always charges as little as possible) and it’s going to be another 6k. We’ve had to buy another car. I didn’t want to but there was no choice. We’ve got a car that’s big enough for us all, known to be reliable and with everything included (services, warranty etc) to avoid this. But it’s another massive hit to our bank account every month. Whilst we can still afford this it leaves us with 500 spare a month (after bills, food, savings etc). Again I absolutely know some people have nothing and this is a first world problem. But is this normal? Is this a good amount to have left? I didn’t realise before that we were actually quite well off and had a lot of disposable income. Our savings have depleted massively and all the plans we had for our new house have gone to shit because we’ve spent nearly 13k on trying to fix our car and putting a big deposit down on the next one (to try pay as little as possible but it’s still a big amount). whilst I have a wonderful family and a dad that would never see us go without I don’t want to rely on others.
I’m worried that we will look like we live a luxury life whilst counting pennies and having no quality of life. Life would look so different if my mum was still here. I’m scared I’ve made a lot of big decisions out of grief and now I’m tied into some scary stuff. I suppose the question is is 500 disposable income enough (clothes for us and kids,days out, house stuff, hobbies) to be okay.
Again, I know that I am privileged to even be in this position. We have both worked very hard to be in a good financial position. It’s all very grown up for someone who really just needs her mum to reassure her or say I’ve done the right thing.