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Money matters

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Savings and care fees

3 replies

crackina · 19/01/2025 21:39

My DM has been in a care home for around 8 years. My DF passed around 5 years ago. It was left to me to organise his funeral and I actually paid for it. DM had said she would repay me but didn't and I have brought it up but she ignores me. At the time she was obviously grieving and she does have some mental health issues but has capacity. It was around £4000. My DM did have enough money at the time to pay for the funeral but I'm guessing now she doesn't because of care fees bringing her savings down. I don't actually know because she has dealt with that or rather had help from her social worker.

Recently I've been made aware that my DM is due to inherit £22000! She doesn't know yet. I've got to sort it out and somehow talk to her about it. I'm the executor of a will that is leaving her the money.

I'd like to bring up the cost of the funeral at the same time. My question is...is she aloud to pay me back now? I'm guessing the money will affect her care fees from the social for a while until they get to a certain amount, what is that amount? I think I've heard the phrase deprivation of income mentioned before, would paying me back be classed as that?

I hope I'm not coming across as a money grabber. It has been the elephant in the room all this time. I'm guessing she will just say she forgot about it. It put a huge dent in my savings and my DH was obviously not to understanding at the time.

OP posts:
unsync · 19/01/2025 23:32

Who has control of her money? SS or her? Is there a PoA? You need to speak to whoever has control and give them copies of the paperwork and a letter requesting reimbursement so there is a record. Worst case scenario is it can be logged as a debt and you are eventually repaid from her estate.

WRT the inheritance, if it takes her savings over the £23,250 threshold, she'll become self funding. Personally, I would encourage her to take a funeral plan out, so that you don't get into the same situation again and it should also keep her below the threshold.

crackina · 20/01/2025 09:58

She has a funeral plan which she took out as soon as my DF died.

OP posts:
crackina · 21/01/2025 11:49

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