What’s your best tips for saving up (being frugal) and managing money?

[leftorrightnow]

Just that. I’m so fed up feeling my finances aren’t in control. I work full time and earn okay, DH is a freelancer currently without work (have posted about this situation in detail several times and am for now accepting this situation for various specific reasons, so please don’t comment on that).
We’re currently looking to get a mortgage (renting) but it’s hard with DH unstable work situation which is showing no promise of changing.
We’re now looking at getting a mortgage w much solely based on my income, it won’t be a lot and we will likely have to move from where we are. But for now, I’m focused on saving up as much as possible without living a miserable life and foregoing all holidays and fun completely.

What’a tor best tips for saving up, as well as in general managing money? I have a few shares (very few) but through the years I had them haven’t made anything on them.

I have a good pension plan.

We have an old car and bike as much as we can (have a cargo bike too and kids have bikes).

We don’t have expensive habits, except that we travel to DH’s home country once a year, and I spend a bit more than usual likely on my clothes as I have a job which involves a lot of representation.

Any tips?

As a student in the 80s whilst we got grants they were small and my parents didn’t have any money to supplement me so we had limited finances and little chance of making any. ( I secured work in boots in the holidays though )

We didn’t have washing machines and dishwashers anyway so my post on that doesn’t relate to student years but certainly i never had money for clothes and takeaways and yes we lived like that.

As far as my suggestions OP asked re being frugal. That’s my version of being frugal and some of those suggestions we do still do.

What we did do and still do certainly doesn’t feel like we don’t have a life 🤣🤣🤣.

Best tips for me have been to really plan birthday, half terms and Christmas. Me spending £5 on rubbish isn't as tempting when I think that £5 could go to £5 at Feb half term. I found having those goals meant I saved for them and was less likely to go off track.

We basically do but with some luxuries
We occasionally go to the theatre
We do have far away holidays but do uk camping aswel
We use a hot wash only for stained white stuff
We occasionally get take away coffees but usually Greggs in which case can’t resist a vegan sausage roll
We paid for three at private school

If OP wants frugality though, she can pick and chose from my selection if she likes 😀

Ahhh that makes sense then 🙂 I couldn't go through life without a couple of luxuries even if it was just a takeaway coffee and a cinema date lol 😊👍

It's easier if you choose to not have the treat as opposed to feeling you're depriving yourself.
You can do swaps like cheaper seats at the cinema/going less frequently/not buying the drinks and snacks etc.

Have a SO of what you can bottom line afford every month into a separate savings account, it all adds up! All the other usual advice which has been given. Even £10 a month, add bit more when you can, emergency fund. I've done this since I was 16 and started earning money, knowing you have a bit extra. Xx

As well as all the usual budgeting stuff, I also aim to make a little money each week, tiny amounts, but I put it away.

You could sign up for Topcashback, which can be useful for when you renew insurances or need to buy something. I also use survey sites such as AttaPoll (I made £50 in December on this). Prolific is also good for some money. If you would like referrals for any of these please DM me (I will get a little money for this and so will you). Also Vinted for making some money.

Thanks for all the great tips! I think I’ll definitely check out one of those budgeting apps.

I love the idea of focusing on saving up for a home and holidays too.

for those commenting on my DH’s situation, it’s all explained here:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5232859-to-be-loosing-patience-with-dh-unemployment-more-than-a-year
and my conclusion the last couple
of months has been to accept the situation as it is and support him. He’s not a lavish spender, he only spends on the takeaways, cigarettes (which I hate but he hasn’t managed to quit yet, likely due to feeling down) and that’s it. No gadgets, clothes or a fancy car, and he pretty much never goes out. So I don’t want to make him more miserable than he already is by saying we can’t ever have takeaways.

Cut out takeaways and all takeout coffees. Buy a decent thermos mug (or ask for it for your next birthday as a gift) that you can use for hot drinks whilst out and about. Take packed lunches when out and about.

For birthday/Christmas gifts, ask for things that you can enjoy throughout the year instead of having to spend your money on days out e.g. activity pass or membership. Also look out for free National Trust day passes, which tend to be offered a few times a year. Makes for a nice day out and you can take a picnic. Similarly work out what free activities you can do with the kids locally (appreciate it's harder when they are a bit older).

Be really careful with subscriptions; even if you can turn some off for one month whilst you watch stuff on another channel you'll be saving some money.

Use Vinted and sell larger things locally.

For online purchases use Topcashback to earn. Do that religiously, it really adds up. Then convert the earnings to a voucher with a % uplift (e.g. you can often convert the earnings to an M&S voucher for 3% more).

For birthday presents and cards (assuming kids go to them regularly), see what you can buy on Vinted or in online sales. January is a great time for this so you can stock up and buy things more cheaply than you otherwise would. Also get multi packs of birthday cards for kids' friends birthdays so that you aren't buying £2+ individual cards.

Put a fixed budget on Christmas and birthday gifts and really stick to it; try to look for things throughout the year when they are on offer / sale.

Check you have the cheapest mobile phone deal - could you get a SIM only deal for example?

Get a life time isa if you haven't already. The government give a top up percentage (I think 25 percent) of whatever you put in. You can withdraw it for a first time house purchase, or you withdraw it at 60. My stocks and shares isa with money box performs well, and I try to top it up little and often.

How does he have to pay his student loan back if he isn’t working?

Op it must be frustrating as realistically it seems like he needs to find another job that he might enjoy - he can’t just wait around if there’s no requirement for his skills in that country

Yes I think exactly the same. But at the end of the day, I cannot force him. I’ve been trying to tell him this for years now. But I don’t know if you bothered to read the whole long other thread, but the things is he doesn’t speak the local language so picking up another job isn’t easy. In reality, all that’s open to him is basic manual labour, aside from his specialized industry, unless he retrains, which a) is complicated by language and b) would take years, didn’t which he’d have 0 income unless he picked up manual labour side gigs, which would leave him very busy and most of the housework/kids stuff falling to me.
His unemployment support runs out this summer (it’s limited to two years in this country, it’s a private insurance and comes to around £1,400 after tax per month, so that’s about the same you’d get for most manual labour jobs.) so that will force him to face reality, unless something more stable has come up by then. He knows this and that’s what really brining him down. It may be that the final choice will be that it’s best for him to bite the bullet and retrain, but he’s also 47, so if he’s retrained as something by, say, 50, then that’s also a really tough age to secure an entry level job, especially w the ageism in the labour market in this country, getting my new jobs after 45 unless you’re quite senior in your field is very hard. But yes, he will have to work it out, but it has to be his decision. If I push him to hard, he will become resentful and it will destroy our marriage, which I don’t want. As long as he’s pulling his weight in the house and with the kids, and not acting like a dick and overspending, and trying all he can to get employment (part of receiving the support is you must apply for minimum 2 local jobs a weeek and he does that, in addition to remote jobs he applies for in his industry), then there isn’t much more I can do for now, safe for deciding to leave him, which I don’t want to emotionally and which would ultimately leave me worse off, as I’d have to manage without what he brings in in unemployment support, and more importantly, would have to pick up everything child and household related, as he couldn’t even stay in this country if we split up, so realistically it would actually mean depriving the children of their dad, on top of everything else.
It’s so tricky.
at the moment I’m focusing on what I can control which is our management of finances (hence this thread) and my own career, so I’m looking for an even better paid job, to at least make the most of the fact that I have a SAHD at the moment, I could potentially work even more, it’s not what I want, but sometimes we can’t choose. If I was to get a more demanding and better paid job, it would take some of the pressure of him, and if he did then get work, I’d just have to rearrange things job wise.

On the student loan, I have been thinking too he shouldn’t pay it and will look into this. I know this sounds impossible complicated but sadly it’s all true, his student loan is from yet another country where he lived as a teenager (not home country as he had to flee due to war and then studied in another country - not UK or my country) and he didn’t live there long and I don’t know their system so I think we’re both a bit oblivious. Guess we’ve also been thinking that as long as we can afford to pay it off, it’s always good to continue to do so. But will look into it now.

Could he enrol on a language course while he’s still receiving benefits? It will help his job prospects and will be easier while he still has some income.

Ebay now has no selling fees for UK listing's and sales, so go through your cupboards and get listing. Make sure you charge enough for carriage

Gosh it’s not looking good op - makes me wonder why you all thought this was a fair move when it’s not benefited him at all

I don’t think it’s good for a man’s confidence to be in this situation- he definitely needs a plan - otherwise you are all going to be facing the misery of a broken man!

And yyy to seeing if he still needs to continue the loan repayments

In the U.K. you get your repayments refunded if you didn’t earn above the threshold for that tax year

I’d echo the You need a Budget recommendations. You assign all of your money as it comes in, including any savings and can work towards annual expenses. So if you know you need flights to see family that will cost £1200 you put aside the £100 per month instead of trying to find it each month, same with car tax etc. What I like (some of my money comes in sporadically) is that I can easily see what expenses are covered in the month and which pots I need to top up and by which date to keep on track.

It meant than when I had a very unexpected expense the week before Christmas I could see where I had wiggle room and was able to pay it without reaching for my credit card, as I normally would. I can also see where my money is going because all my expenditure tracks from my account. I can then make adjustments (eg managing my food budget, cutting down on treats) from there. It’s helped me cut down on incidentals because I need to have money allocated to them, if I don’t I don’t buy it.

Setting up takes a wee bit of time bit I’ve easily saved more than the subscription fee many times over in the past year just by being more aware of what I’m doing.

For the flights home, get creative. Many flights to Europe are cheap as chips, many not. Can you fly half way and get a train the rest of distance?
Extend the tenor on your mortgage, which will increase the amount you have to play with. Buy second hand and sell on when not needed.
Declutter. Go through your cupboards so you know where EVERYTHING is. So next time the kids need a sleeping bag or a new pen or a tennis racket or a wig or whatever nonsense they need... you may have it lying round.
Plan. Meals monthly - batch cook, use things like lentils to stretch out meat, get two meals out of a roast chicken etc. you know you'll have birthdays etc coming up. Buy what you can in advance and preferably in charity shops.

For me its reduced food items that can be used eg freeze them / yellow label items

It sounds like a complex picture of both people being from outside the UK and the husband having studied in yet another and having had to escape from one country for safety. The biggest financial issue is the husband id refusing to get a full time job like the rest of us have to do which is a bit entitled of him. He probably just needs a metaphorical kick to get on with it. Even he does full time jobs like my son has done - post man full time the minimum wage is doing up to £23,500 full time approx. and those jobs can be above minimum wage.

If that is not feasilble then he should give up the pretence of his freelance work and doing 100% of home stuff like a traditional housewife whilst supporting your career (I earned 10x my husband for example and plenty of women do support families these days)

On savings, that will vary per person. i don't smoke and never have take aways (and am fairly well off) but that sounds like the husband's only pleasures o I am not going to sit here on myj high horse saying give those up. What I do do once a year and have done for decades is every early January summarise expenses in various categories, income, net income, assets and their value and how much money was saved in the year before (or taken off the mortgage which I repaid in 2023 after almost 40 years of paying one). This year I found the online banking very easy as you can search a name eg Amazon or names of supermarkets - some of my bigger spending or your power company and download an excel sheet and then that will automatically total the spending on that category if you press Autosum on the excel sheet so you can see in seconds what you have spent in all kinds of categories that year - council tax etc etc

I also choose to pay my power bills monthly under a system they must allow people to have (you have to call to set it up) where you only pay for what you use and you submit a reading (if no smart meter) once a month - it means tiny bills in the summer and big ones in winter but I understand it a lot more and never have confusing credit balances so I like it.

i checked out the YNAB app and it looks great but I think it’s a bit expensive. I googled free budgeting apps and came across these - Goodbudget and EveryDollar - anyone tried them?

Yes it’s tough but he insists he doesn’t want to move from here as the country is a good place to be and the kids are thriving. Finding a good and free school is like gold dust, as is having family around. wouldn’t be able to have family around anywhere else, and the school situation could be very tricky too. Yet, if he said he wanted to move and told me where I’d be up for it. But as long as he himself doesn’t want to, it isn’t going ti happen.

re him refusing to get a full time job…well, he’s had a full time job for years until the crisis in his industry. He’d jump at the chance of a full time job again in his industry any time. What he’s so far been unwilling to do is to get a manual labour job in a country where he doesn’t speak the language, and feeling like yet another immigrant while his wife has a white collar well avoids job and a nice life. And I get that. He may eventually come to change his mind, but I’m not sure. What will be interesting to see is what he will do if he still hasn’t found anything by the summer when his unemployment support runs out. At that point he will have to make some decisions. Right now he’s using the time to learn new programmes and apply for jobs as much as he can within his field. I think it would be very unkind of me to force him to go out and drive a taxi and similar at this point just so we can get a mortgage, when it’s not like we can’t pay the bills or anything. Well, I could do it, but I think it’s be the end of our marriage