I’ve recently split with my partner (not married) of 15 years. We have 3 DCs together and still live together at the moment. In the new year I am going to get him off the mortgage and deeds. He has agreed to this because he put nothing into the house (I used my inheritance) he has also not paid half the mortgage throughout the years. He’s happy to walk away with no money from the house, as I will be living here with the kids. I don’t see why I should give him anything because over the years I have practically paid for everything - holidays, most of Christmas and birthday presents every year, uniform, kids activities etc etc.
It’s not the only reason we split (he cheated) but it’s probably up there with one of the main reasons. I didn’t want to try and work things out as I have been unhappy for many years. Basically he works full-time from home and earns about £1100 a month. I have a job in the public sector which I have been in for 21 years, and come away with approx £2400 a month. I pay a lot into a pension. My ex has no pension for the future, no savings and lives hand to mouth each month. To be fair to him, he buys the food shopping and gives me an amount each month but this doesn’t cover even a 1/4 of the bills. His elderly parents recently had to get a loan out to buy him a used car. He doesn’t see any of this as an issue. He’s not frivolous with money, he doesn’t buy a lot or go out much. He’s just a very low earner and at 48, it’s not going to get any better.
Because of his financial situation, the future looks bleak for him. I’m worrying not about him and his future rather than my own. The only option he has when he moves out of the family home in the new year is to move in with his elderly parents. They have a small 3 bedroom home nearby. He hasn’t told them about the split yet but I doubt they will want 3 children (7,7,10) regularly staying over - plus there isn’t the room. I feel trapped in this situation and that I am never going to be able to move on because of his shit financial situation.
Has anyone been through anything similar or have any advice?