Anyone want to look over my budget?

[workingoutmoney]

So my incomings are

salary - £1948 (after tax)
rental income - £611 (also after tax)

so 2559

Outgoings are

Childcare - £1100
Swimming - £132
Gym - £52
insurance (home and car) £35
Service charges £188
Savings £200
Phone £40

Total £1747

This then gives me £812

I am trying to pay back credit card debt too so have allocated £500 a month to this, leaving me £312 ‘spends.’

This is realistic, isn’t it? Out of that I have to pay for children’s food and entertainment, fuel for car, clothes and toys (but they should be set for a while after Christmas.)

I would cut my credit is rubbish.

It’s very tricky if he insists his finances are his business, and yet is spending £760 a month on cars between you both, as well as a £700 loan, and then you’ve got credit card debt too.

It would be much much fairer to work out some family finances. You’re being hugely impacted by all the child-related expenses, with seemingly no say over wider family finances.

If you really want to get rid of your debt quickly, you could stop saving in ISA for a few months and "pay" this back later once your debt is paid. At least your money doesn't get wasted into paying interest if you pay your debt quicker.

I am not sure if £312/month is enough for food, fuel and entertainment. I spend about £100/week for 3 (2 adults & a 9 years old). We eat meat/fish daily, though. But groceries is something that is easily controlled as long as you don't mind cooking. Also, while paying off debt, you could minimise the cost of entertainment and do things that are free or bring your own snack/food when out and about.

Paying debt always brings misery. Perhaps, once the debt is paid off, you could use this experience to start building your own emergency fund so that you don't get into any debt again.

It's a very unsatisfactory way of budgeting when two people live together. Is money very tight. Why are you saving money when you are in debt. Your whole approach is wrong IMHO.

Back of a fag packet calculations I make it that if you added all your income and all the expenses, including repaying the credit cards at £300 a month, and allowing £400 for family food, then if you divided the leftover £650 between the two of you you’d have over £300 to spend on the gym, clothes etc. Your husband would also have £300 to spend on himself.

I expect he’d say that’s absolutely not enough discretionary cash in his pocket.

Which is when you get to discuss the cars @£760 a month, and whether that’s ‘family’ expenses or actually his own luxury expense…

There’s absolutely no way that will ever happen @NoSquirrels .

Thanks @Marmut , it is difficult as I like to do nice things with them and it’s really easy to spend money (cake at soft play, coffee while out having a walk) but I do need to cut back, I have a national trust membership so should make more use of that really.

The thing is OP, you and your DH don't seem to have a financial plan. You are both spending reactively and then doing a drastic budget when the reality becomes clear.

There was a poster a few days ago who was in a similar position and was talking about reducing her work hours because it would help with a complicated childcare situation. I don't know if you're the same poster, but your lack of plan reminds me of that her.

Surely it's time to run your finances as a family rather than ad hoc as it currently is?

there is no answer that will appease both sides if one already feels that something is "unfair"

• pooling all income and splitting what is left after all bills paid = unfair on the person bringing in the higher income
• pooling all income and paying the bills in strict % of respective incomes with the balance split according to that income split ="fairest"?
• running income separately as a "his" 'n "hers" with bills arbitrarily split into "his" 'n "hers" = accident waiting to happen when one party gets disgruntled

The deciding factor is probably the strength of the marriage versus attitudes to money.

@Gazelda - I don’t know what you mean by lack of plan; what do you mean?

I have a plan, or I’m trying to make one anyway. I’m genuinely not sure what you mean.

@Wot23 i don’t disagree but I’m honestly not posting about DH, my marriage or his finances.

Sorry to hear you say that @workingoutmoney - if you can’t get to a place of family finances I’d honestly go back to work FT or get divorced now. Might sound drastic but you sound convinced it’s a non-negotiable for him to change the way finances are handled and therefore it’d be a non-negotiable for me that I was also captain of my own financial future. Being responsible for all the expenses and costs of having children is a long-term ticket to fewer choices in your future.

Anyway, immediate future, cut down the contribution to the children’s ISAs by 50%, pay that off the debt, reassess when it’s gone.

I haven't RTFT yet but don't want to forget to say- you might be able to get better wraparound from local childminders instead of relying just on the school wraparound if it's not that good. When DH and I were both teachers we used to drop DC at childminder at 730am and pick up at 5 some days, lovely childminder did the wraparound care and pick ups and drop offs. She had a whole crew from the same primary and the walks to school together and playing after etc were lovely times for the DC actually.

Sorry OP that will be annoying for you (what I posted just now) because I was assuming that childminder for wraparound would be an option. I am very surprised it isn't.

It took me ages and a lot of persistence to get sorted for a CM around here. Kind of had to get myself into their network and after about 3 people saying no but I'll give you so and so's number, I'll ask for you on the local childminder WhatsApp group etc we got sorted. If I'd not persisted like my life depended on it I'd have given up and ended up selling a kidney for full time nursery probably.

Otherwise- the kids dad needs to step up and do some pick ups, drop offs, flex HIS working hours too to support his family.

It does feel a DH problem as much as anything else, sorry.

I can’t see phones, tv, commuting, presents, holiday, internet, etc. Sorry if I missed it. Random house stuff, children’s clothes and shoes, birthdays and parties, meeting friends, activities, etc.

you have missed it, the division of who pays what is unequal
OP pays one lot of specific bills
DH pays another lot of specific bills

You lot must have more friends than me - I only buy a present if we’re invited to a party and then it’s under £10 and there aren’t many parties; this may change when they are primary school age I guess.