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Original poster

Buying colleagues presents.

20 replies

Littlemissmuffet99 · 17/12/2024 20:07

Please help, i bought 3 for 2 Ted Baker gifts set for 3 of my colleagues. Each gift set came to around £6-7.

I am worried I have not spent enough on them.

I also bought my boss and his wife gifts- total came to £40.
Also the secret santa was a £10 gift.

I am a single mum and not made of money. Please advice x

OP posts:
iamnotalemon · 17/12/2024 20:11

This sounds generous to me.
I don't buy my colleagues anything, just my boss.
That's very nice of you x

Optimist1 · 17/12/2024 20:27

Are you 100% sure that colleagues buy for each other? And that your colleagues buy for the boss? And his wife? Normally a Secret Santa precludes any other gift giving, IME.

You sound a kind and generous person, but I'd hate you to be spending on gifts that aren't expected.

Divebar2021 · 17/12/2024 20:30

Who buys presents for colleagues ? Is that a thing? I have only ever bought a present for colleagues who I have ended up as friends and this is rare. As for bosses? No never.

Original poster
Littlemissmuffet99 · 17/12/2024 20:32

Optimist1 · 17/12/2024 20:27

Are you 100% sure that colleagues buy for each other? And that your colleagues buy for the boss? And his wife? Normally a Secret Santa precludes any other gift giving, IME.

You sound a kind and generous person, but I'd hate you to be spending on gifts that aren't expected.

Hi thank you for the reply. I felt that if you buy the boss something you need to get the wife something as well?

I was mortified that my colleagues returned the favour and bought gifts back for me. Don't know what they bought but hopfully they havent spent more than £10!

OP posts:
Original poster
Littlemissmuffet99 · 17/12/2024 20:34

Divebar2021 · 17/12/2024 20:30

Who buys presents for colleagues ? Is that a thing? I have only ever bought a present for colleagues who I have ended up as friends and this is rare. As for bosses? No never.

It depends on the work culture. My boss sees colleagues as his extended family.

OP posts:
Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 17/12/2024 20:40

I’d suggest in future you speak to colleagues early and agree to “chip in” for a gift for the boss. That way the boss gets something really nice from you all, you don’t necessarily have to put in as much, and you aren’t worried about spending too much.
It depends on your relationship with your colleagues, but if you are on good enough terms you can just say “I’ve really not got much money this year, please can we agree no presents between us?”

user2848502016 · 17/12/2024 20:43

I wouldn't expect anything from my colleagues, what you have sounds lovely

TempuraCustard · 17/12/2024 20:45

If it's secret santa you buy ONE present for the person you have. Why are you buying your boss and his wife a gift??? Gifts flow down.

Original poster
Littlemissmuffet99 · 17/12/2024 20:46

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 17/12/2024 20:40

I’d suggest in future you speak to colleagues early and agree to “chip in” for a gift for the boss. That way the boss gets something really nice from you all, you don’t necessarily have to put in as much, and you aren’t worried about spending too much.
It depends on your relationship with your colleagues, but if you are on good enough terms you can just say “I’ve really not got much money this year, please can we agree no presents between us?”

Edited

Thank you so much for your advise, communication is a problem at my work as I am in my own office and i am out often as i work in business development/sales so dont see my colleagues as much as i would like.

OP posts:
Bjorkdidit · 18/12/2024 05:16

I've never known people buy gifts for colleagues, or bosses and especially when they're not close.

The secret santa is more than enough and designed to make sure people have a token gift without exchanging a lot of things that people aren't particularly interested in.

Can you return what you've bought and just stick to the secret santa?

Nourishinghandcream · 19/12/2024 10:34

Gifts to colleagues has never been a thing in my experience.
I have had managers who give a bottle of wine, box of chocolates etc to staff but it has never gone beyond that. Gifts to the manager (and their wife) seems a little odd and I have never come across that either.
Of course, it all depends on your workplace culture but it seems a bit OTT if you don't have the money to do it.

LadyKenya · 19/12/2024 10:51

Buying gifts for colleagues is something that I would never get into, especially if I was short of money! I would not want colleagues to spend money on me either. It is enough to just exchange cards, if appropriate, but I would just wish them a merry Christmas, and that is enough. The boss should be the one buying presents, if anybody should imo. My advice to you OP, is don't spend money you do not have on people that you work with.

KneesUnder · 19/12/2024 10:54

I’ve only ever bought a gift for my secretary. Definitely don’t buy for the boss or his wife! And surely the point of secret Santa is that you don’t have to buy anything else?

TeenLifeMum · 19/12/2024 10:54

I bought my team some chocolates each but less than a fiver each. It was a token gift. We all have families to buy for and I didn’t expect anything back. I’m their manager. My own director bought me a bottle of Prosecco and a Christmas card with a lovely note. I was happy.

user23124 · 19/12/2024 10:56

I am a boss of 74 people and I BUY THEM PRESENTS I am very clear that they must NOT buy me presents - it is madness.

Caterina99 · 19/12/2024 17:04

Our boss gets us a gift - a nice box of chocolates each. We don’t buy him anything.

I don’t get gifts for my colleagues. We do secretly Santa and that’s enough

AgreeableDragon · 19/12/2024 23:09

Gifts at work should NEVER go upwards. If I was your boss I’d be horrified that you bought me something,and even more so if I was their wife!!!!
I love my colleagues, but I wouldn’t buy for them either!
Keep your hard earned money for your children OP.

TwinkleLights24 · 19/12/2024 23:12

You didn’t need to buy any of it. Nobody will probably give gifts in the workplace.

SatsumaCat · 19/12/2024 23:15

No gifts are exchanged in my workplace unless a secret santa is arranged (rarely but a few times in 20 years, Ive been in lots of different teams). I have in the past occasionally had a manager who has bought us a bottle of wine, or paid for a drink at the Xmas meal, weve never boight for the boss. I gave my team christmas/thank you cards this year.

NewName24 · 19/12/2024 23:41

None of us can know the culture in your workplace, but I agree with everyone else that it is quite unusual for people to buy presents for colleagues.

Some places chip in to get the Manager something between them.
In some places, the boss gets something for those they manage.

I think it is incredibly odd to get something for the spouse of your boss.

Some places do a 'Secret Santa'.

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