What is a fair contribution?

[2ndtimefinances]

Both financially independent - both self employed, he can earn more than me (skilled trade) however he is retirement age, I am 50's
House (mine, no mortgage) costs £1200 PCM to run (this is everything including Spotify Disney, bills etc.) 5 beds, good area
Plus food (£800) for 3 - extra adult is my SEND 20 year old who will never work. I also have another child currently living away at Uni (home in the holidays)
His children are all older & have left home
He doesn't & will never have any interest in the house we live in, he has his own which is let.
So total about £2000 PCM expenses

Would you do a % of income? Or expenses?

How does that work if there is no mortgage.
How would you equate the capital tied up in the house we live in?

This is not an issue about what is affordable more about what is reasonable & fair.

I suppose he should pay a third of costs like food, electric etc.

But half of costs like council tax.

Sorry forgot to add as my child has Arfid his food is mostly paid separately
@Wafflefudge would you not add anything for the fact that he earns an income from his house circa £2k & mine which is worth more doesn't earn anything as that's where we live?
Thanks

you would be fully responsible for any work that needs doing on the house including fixtures and fittings.

Then there are 3 adults in the house so he would be responsible for a 3rd of all the bills.

I wouldn’t charge anything for rent or expect an interest in his income/property.

1/3 of the monthly bills so about £666 per month. Although some of one son’s food is paid for separately, this will even out when then other son is home in the holidays eating food and adding to the utility bills. It will all even out.

Him living with you allows him to rent his house out so you could say 1/3 of all household running bills and food but you pay for any maintenance plus half of his rental income. If he wasn't living rent free in your house he couldn't let his house out he'd have to live in it himself.

I'd consider a tenancy agreement- ensures he has no claim in your home. Also ensure any large maintenance jobs are paid for formally with receipts.

Be cautious if marriage is on the cards.

I would probably say
1/3 food / utilities/ council tax
Plus a nominal rent. Maybe look at the price to rent a room in your area and base it on that. It seems unfair that he would be living in your home rent/mortgage free and pocketing the rent from his own home being let out.

How does he intend to fund him self in retirement? Does he have enough spare cash to fund any loss of rent / maintenance fees from his property?

Oh yes sorry a third or half of the bills as appropriate for his proportion. And you should get half the rental income maybe.

Thank you for your thoughts everyone
To answer some questions
He has other funds to support himself & as a skilled trade is actually still working when he wants to
Marriage definitely not on the cards, for either of us for other reasons
Also no issue with him having a claim as the house is in trust for children due to me being widowed very young
Thanks again

You own your house outright. He has a house he is benefitting by financially through living at yours. I would split everything. Food , utilities leisure ext equally. Half each. Yes you have a third adult living at home but he has total profit from his other house because he lives with you. Simplest, easiest, fairest solution I think 🤔

I'd say he should pay you £1,000 per month. This is half your household running costs (as he is the only other person in the household capable of contributing) but also half the income he is making from letting his house out. It feels fair to me as you both benefit a bit financially from the arrangement- you get a contribution towards costs that you would have anyway (ie your son's costs and the fixed element of household bills) and he gets to keep half the income from letting his house (which he wouldn't have if he didn't live with you and either lived there himself or had to pay rent to someone else).