Do I keep brothers debt a secret?

[tinselbella]

Hi,

mum passed away fairly recently and my brother and I have been dealing with her financial affairs.

I recently found out that she had lent my brother £22k a couple of years ago as he was in a financial mess. She updated her will to reflect this, reducing his share of any inheritance by the amount that he borrowed from her. No issue at all with that - I don't think it's my business and I am pleased that mum was able to help him.

My issue is that he really doesn't want anyone else to know about this loan. He's embarrassed and really doesn't want my dh to know that he had to borrow from mum. The problem is that I am going to receive 22K more than him due to the loan. Is it reasonable of him to ask me to keep this from my dh and other family members?

Why does anyone need to know the figures? I doubt it will come up in natural conversation.

It's not. I just would personally struggle to keep a secret from my DP!! Id probably tell my brother I wasnt go to say anything but I think I would. Keeping it quiet from the rest of the family much easier. I agree while heartily in principle!

Some of the posters on this thread are making me think I should never tell my married friends anything. You guys do realise you don't actually become one person with your spouse, right? It's not "unhealthy" to keep someone's confidence from your husband when it has fuck all impact on him.

There is absolutely no need for the OP to tell her husband except for mindless gossip. All she needs to tell him is the amount she receives and that she got equal shares with her brother. The dh has no need to know about the brother's previous financial trouble .

You can say as little possible about the will, but if DH finds out you'll be inheriting more (and why would he?), you can simply say that DB had an advance on the inheritance a few years ago, and it's all above board. DB needn't come out of this looking bad.

When my DP has inherited money she has just said "[relative name]'s will has all been sorted out, and she left me £ X".

I have never gone on to ask "oh - and what did she leave to everyone else?"

The only thing that matters is our household now has an extra £X.

Similarly, if I was in your shoes I wouldn't promise to keep it as a secret from my DP, but I would also not mention it unless asked directly. I would be happy to promise to keep it a secret from other family members - it's none of their business.

This is a good idea. You can mention he had an advance - no need to say more detail.

In the nicest possible way, what’s it got to do with your husband, OP? You get what you get, and tell him that amount. He‘s got no need to know what your brother received.