critical illness payout successfull but.........long sorry.........

[doodypud]

Hello all,to cut a long story short, my DH has been suffering from Testicular Cancer and recently we have been awarded a lump sum through our critical illness insurance...fantastic news, however, despite not having a job at the moment, he is selfishley i believe bearing in mind that we have a DD, wanting to spend a large sum of money on a 2 seater sports car. 1. it a a stupid amount of money to be spending on one item 2, we would never be able to use it as a family 3. we are planning on moving in the next year so we will need evey penny for this. I feel we should be on top of the world because this payout will help us enomously in the long run, as we are able to pay alot of our mortage off, but we have spent most of the weekend scowling at one another because we want different things out of this windfall. his general outlook is if you have it, spend it i am totally the other way, i have spend long periods of time, when he has been unemployed for periods over the last 10 years that we have been together, working all the hours, to pay all the bills and i am just a naturally cautious person does anyone have a different outlook??, is there anyway around this i feel we are going to really fall out overthis...

I have a different outlook

your dh is acting like a tosser

I wouldn't worry about maybe bloody falling out I would hit him round the head with a large pan

Think I agree with Cap.

On the other hands, maybe it's something to do with his feelings about having had cancer - need to feel alive / what the hell, it's all going to end soon anyway etc.

lol!! that was my immediate thought, might knock some sense into him! thanks cappuccino. he is feeling really hard done to.... you know he was the person that was ill and if it wasnt for him we would not have this "opportinity", it is just making me feel sick but i should be on top of the world............

is your dh recovered now?
perhaps he feels it is 'his' money and fels the crap he's been through makes him deserving of a treat - tell him he is right and plan to spemd a bit on a nice holiday...
But also remind him that you went through hel too and worked hard to hold things together...your reward is financial security...

I can see why he has this attitude, as he has had a bit of a 'wake up call' in the immortality stakes BUT it is a very selfish opinion that it should be spent on fripparies.

What is the worst case scenario/long term health implications?

FWIW, I would pay off my mortgage first.

(But hats off to you for having such insurance in the first place, I have struggled to make my DH understand the importance of financial planning!)

i can also see it from his side, but i am a natural worrier when it comes to money and he isnt....we need to strike a balance i think.

just off to the shop (im at work sorry if i dont post back immediately)thanks for your responses so far keep them coming

yes strike a balance by all means

pay off mortgage

leave enough cash to buy him one of these

without divulging how much it is ...is it possible to give him a percentage to 'blow' on what he wants....? perhaps he could hire out a sports car for a weekend/week?

Go for a days' racing at Brands Hatch in a ferrari or something?

He isright in saying the money would not be there if he hadn't got ill - but remind him how hard you had to work and go without luxuries yourself during the dark times.

a new car fair enough

a new car you can't put your kids in is barmy

like the chopper, Cappuccino!!! good idea

dropdead fred ... well this is where the trouble started a few years ago when i bought him a lotus driving experience.. for a birthday present from that day on he was hooked and by hook or by crook is dead set on getting one of his own (worst present i ever bought IMO)

yes he is "recovered"he has had 1 cycle of chemo and he will still have various blood tests for a few years to come, so it could have been a lot worse and we do feel very lucky in this respect...

Could you not agree that he have part of the money to put towards the lotus, or is there no way of him ever finding the rest? Would he be prepared to compromise with a few lotus days out/joining lotus club and driving other peoples? I have no idea if such things exist, but there are sports car clubs where you can take the cars out on a track for a day...

Also worth pointing out running costs - a straightforward service on a porsche boxster is around £1,000, it would probably be about that on a lotus. Also tyres are about £100 each etc etc. Has he thought of all this? Fuel efficiency also beyond rubbish, if he is planning on using it often.

thats just the thing isnt it - i want to reduce annual bills such as running costs of a car, his normal line of work is field sales ie normally having a company car, so when he finds another job he will get taxed on having this use of a company car and having another car for occasional use and an expensive one at that seems ridiculous!!

thanks for your input guys, i really dont think there is any real compromise really, unless he finds a fantastically well paid job next week!!!