critical illness payout successfull but.........long sorry.........

[doodypud]

Hello all,to cut a long story short, my DH has been suffering from Testicular Cancer and recently we have been awarded a lump sum through our critical illness insurance...fantastic news, however, despite not having a job at the moment, he is selfishley i believe bearing in mind that we have a DD, wanting to spend a large sum of money on a 2 seater sports car. 1. it a a stupid amount of money to be spending on one item 2, we would never be able to use it as a family 3. we are planning on moving in the next year so we will need evey penny for this. I feel we should be on top of the world because this payout will help us enomously in the long run, as we are able to pay alot of our mortage off, but we have spent most of the weekend scowling at one another because we want different things out of this windfall. his general outlook is if you have it, spend it i am totally the other way, i have spend long periods of time, when he has been unemployed for periods over the last 10 years that we have been together, working all the hours, to pay all the bills and i am just a naturally cautious person does anyone have a different outlook??, is there anyway around this i feel we are going to really fall out overthis...

Surely the whole point of a critical illness payout is to pay off your liabilities so that if you are too ill too work then you can still have a roof over your head.

Has he thought how you would manage if he dies?

He is being completely selfish.

This completely proves the theory about sports cars and trying to prove your masculinity. The illness probably made him feel very weak and threatened and he wants something to prove what a stud he still is. But looking after his family would make him more of a man than a sports car ever can.

What about spending a bit on a special treat, like a sports car experience or hiring one for the weekend?

Has his brush with cancer taught him nothing? Doesn't he realise that disaster can strike anyone, at anytime? Sorry to be harsh but he's being an idiot. We got a critical illness payout as DH has cancer (not curable, unfortunately) and it went straight to pay off the mortgage. Yes, DH would love a sports car or to spend his last months travelling the world but he's responsible enough to put his family first and realise that a roof over our heads is more important than indulging his own desires.

However, it is worth remembering that a diagnosis of cancer is a terrible thing, even if it is treatable, and gives someone a hell of a shock. This could be a knee jerk reaction to thinking he might die. You're absolutely right to think that his attitude is wrong but bear that in mind when you talk to him about it and make a few allowances.