To convince DH that this is not a tight budget!!

[mrschicshadow]

Good morning,

Before I start, This really isn’t a stealth boast. I am trying to make my dh see that we are financially ok.

DH changed jobs recently and this has meant a take home pay cut of £600pm. His last job was terribly stressful and took over his life. I am 100% in agreement that moving jobs was the right thing to do. He is already much better both physically and mentally. The issue now is that he has this misplaced guilt things are going to be ‘tight’ financially. I don’t think that this is the case. Sure, we have had to make some changes - we have cancelled load of silly subscriptions, got rid of the sky package ( got an Amazon Firestick instead). We also made a few switches with things like insurances and utility providers which also saved us a bit of money.

BTW, we have 1 teen dd at home. DS is older and lives independently now. We are both 45.

Our new financial position is as follows….
My take-home pay - £2433
DH take -home pay - £3102
Total - 5434

Mortgage - £1276 ( 5 years left and thankfully fixed for the next 4)
Gas/elec/water/council tax/ house insurance/TV licence/Internet - £510
Mobile phones - £48 for 2 phones. This will drop and we will eventually move to sim only
Car fuel - £160
DD allowance - £50 - we are strict about not giving top ups and we expect her to save some and use it wisely
Car loan - £260
Bit of debt - £280 - all on low interest and not too long to go
Gym membership - £52 for both of us - we use this several times a week and I would be loathe to stop this
Food - £400. I am being strict about this and shopping at Aldi/Lidl. Seems to be working out ok
Union subs - £42
Emergency savings - £200 - we like to do this for anything unexpected that crops up
Christmas savings - £50
Pet costs - £54 - an absolute priority!!!!
Car insurance - £94 - 2 cars. Cheapest deals I could get
DS money - £200. We are supporting DS with living costs for a year as he has just moved into his own place.
Haircuts - £20 - sort of an average
School uniform/school stuff for DD - £40 - stupidly expensive uniform
Total - £3736
This leaves £1698 which I think it really good.

We do have some savings and we want to carry on saving as DD is talking about uni.

How do I convince DH that this is NOT a right budget and that we can still do fun stuff and enoy life

Gas and electricity £200
Water £75
Council tax £152
Home insurance we pay annually but it would be about £45
Why are you paying so much?

@MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira

There are a lot of bills that are bigger, depending on where in the country you live. Council Tax varies hugely - ours is over £100pm more than yours for example, and our water bill is about £20pm more than yours. They aren't things you can 'cut' by unplugging things or turning the heating down. They just are what they are. Home insurance will depend on quite a few factors the OP can't do anything about as well.

I wasn't replying to the OP whose utilities are similar to mine. I was replying to the poster spirallingdownwards, who was aghast that you can get those things for under £510 . I don't live in a cheap part of the country and gas, electricity and water are all metered so you can control them to some extent. I live in an old house and our thermostat is set to 21, heating on 5-6 hours a day. I could definitely reduce that but I don't need to.

OP, we bring home similar. Our mortgage is significantly lower (tiny flat) but we have 2DC, one still at nursery. Of course it's always nice to have more money but there is no way this is tight! Have you tried to have a proper conversation about how necessary it was to switch jobs, and that he does not need to feel guilty?

Anything ‘less’ than before can feel like a huge psychological difference. With just one teen, you probably have a good handle on outgoings. Give it a few months running a tight ship (Christmas notwithstanding) and see how things are in the Spring. You’re both young and your earnings will continue to go up; the end of your mortgage is in sight. I think you’re in good shape.

DH and I have £600 each as 'spends' which is for 'fun money' so if your left over is just for this then yes that's a lot. But it feels like you're missing a few things here. We have money we put into savings to cover holidays, birthdays, Christmas and any larger emergency items. Then spend more than £400 on food (closer to £600 for 2 adults and 2 DC).

Rather than looking at what you have left over, you need to look at where you are overall financially. If you have no savings or pensions then having all this spare money is not great.

Use the financial flow chart, I can't do links but easy to find if you search the web, to see where you are.

6 months expenses in an easy access account.
New car, roof, boiler money in a longer term savings account
Money for Uni expenses if you have kids
Pensions, long term stocks and shares ISAs

These things are more able to show if you are financially secure than how much is spare this month

Some of you must have MASSIVE incomes if you think this is 'tight' 😵‍💫!!

My 'starting point' is £1945 before I even begin the list of outgoings! Just a few hundred above the OPs 'slush fund' after everything has been paid!

I think you'll manage fine OP 👌🏻

£1600 left after all essentials plus modest savings isn't tight. I would save £600 for holidays, Christmas etc. allow yourselves £100 each a month for miscellaneous expenses (include hair in these for ease) then £100 a week for a meal out/takeaway/fun activities, the remaining £400 into a pot to spend on bigger occasional things like kids presents, tech replacement, car repairs etc

You have plenty. More than most. You have two debts though which perhaps wouldn’t have been needed had you previously been making the most of that extra cash so if you routinely spend more it will be easy to go over.

Get rid of the first debt - that helps. At 50 you should be mortgage free and saving the same into savings - I would say you are in a good position. If your dh was a teacher who came off SLT then there are other ways to top up if needed like tutoring and exam marking. If it’s a different profession then there are often equivalents. Your dh has just extended his life and health now he needs to enjoy this positive change.

How do you have debt?!
You are absolutely fine. All basics covered and other stuff is mostly discretionary.

It looks to me like this drop in pay has enabled you to look at your spending and make some smarter choices and cut backs. It looks fine to me, and after your commitment to your son you could add that to your savings plan.

It’s fine but you haven’t mentioned your pension status or age, I’m assuming you’re coming up to 50 as have a child living in their own place. You need to get that debt paid off asap. Plus how do you save? Is it in an ISA product at a good rate or is it languishing in some rubbish return account.

What do you all actually like to do leisure wise? Has that had to be cut? Psychologically it is a big drop. DH has just retired and though he has a decent pension it is a massive drop in income and much more than that. But that man is in his element wandering about doing extensive DIY, just taught himself some basic bricklaying and can now render masonry as well. I like doing my voluntary work, shopping isn’t for me.

I guess it's the council tax that everyone else seems to be paying less for. Ours is £275 just for that. And we aren't a particularly high band either.

At 50 you should be mortgage-free? Eh?

My mum and dad's is really high for a standard 3 bed semi because their local council went bust

Heatherbell1978 - not that anyone should be mortgage free at 50 but the OP said she had five years left and is 45 so she should be.

Our income is the same as yours. Our outgoings are more though and we are left with about £1k a month. I don’t feel that is tight. I don’t know what you’d be spending that much on each month