Worried about UC Claim Review - BF helping with bills

[Jemjar56]

Hi,

So I’ve recently been asked to provide 4 months of bank statements for a claim review which I have done, but there’s a couple of things I have came to worry about after googling some information.

I am neurodivergent and massively struggle with money management. I am bad for impulse spending and have got myself into lots of debt over the years, I’m so lucky to have had family who are supportive and have helped me out of it. I have been debt free since being on UC, however unfortunately I did have a really bad patch earlier this year where I was literally blowing through my money and unable to pay my bills in full whilst unmedicated (thankfully I am now medicated again).

I was too embarrassed to tell my parents, so my boyfriend offered to help me pay towards my bills for a little while so that it took off some of the strain. He has a good job that pays well and he wanted to help, I have done the same for him in the past and gave him a substantial amount of money when I have been in a better place financially so I accepted. He hasn’t gave me any money for maybe 6 months now, besides the odd £10 transfer if we go halfs on something, I’m in a much more stable place now, and we were planning on moving in together and me paying him back by taking on a higher share of the bills after Christmas or some point next year.

I didnt really take into account that this may look bad in a claims review until googling just now. Is this allowed as we don’t live together?

All of my bills and my house are in solely my name, he still lives with his mum and all of his bills etc is registered at his own address.

On top of all of this my accounts in general are just all over the place due to my adhd and spending habits. Although I am far less reckless with money being medicated, I am constantly transferring money in and out my savings accounts to try manage it, so it looks like there’s more money coming in than there actually has been due to the back and forth.

I feel so guilty that I’ve done something I shouldn’t have, it didn’t even cross my mind that it might be an issue as we don’t live together. I don’t know whether to mention this during my phone call even though those transactions aren’t showing on the 4 months I’ve sent over.

Any advice?

I was just wondering if it was worth the hassle of claiming that’s all.

I would probably just about manage without it the way things are now but money would be very tight and we’d have to cut back massively. If my BF moved in I would be better off, if he paid half of the bills that would be more than the UC i get currently.

I am just a little hesitant to take that step as I have a 4.5 year old who’s dad walked out on us when he was a baby, but it is definitely something we are considering as my son and boyfriend get on great. I just have a fear of history repeating itself as my son is now old enough to remember and he already adores my boyfriend. Which is why I’m a little worried UC are going to make the decision for me 😅

To add I think another part of the anxiety is UC asking for more statements and seeing the transfers, and saying I need to jointly claim / end my claim right now.

I struggle with change massively, we had planned on next year at some point for him to move in and so the thought of having to suddenly rush to change our plans and do it before I was ready makes me feel unsettled and anxious and I know I’m probably stressing about things that may never happen but even the thought of my plans being disrupted is causing me distress 😔

I think the fact I don’t know how long I’m going to have to wait for my phone call and I don’t know how the call is going to go is also really stressful for my ND brain, I just want to speak to them now so I can explain it all 😅

I’m sure it will work out for the best. These things are always a worry.