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Please help me make a plan

8 replies

Newlysinglemum1 · 26/10/2024 14:17

My marriage has just broken down due to stbxhs actions and as a result of these I couldn't stay in the home/ area we lived in. I've had to move in with my parents and am working towards divorce and the sale of the house (owned by stbxh but I should have a majority stake due to having sole care of our child now- again due to his actions). I have to stay in this area because family support is enabling me to stay in full time work as a single parent.

I'm staying with family at the moment and my plan is to try and buy a house using the money I get from the divorce as a deposit but I've been watching the market and I'm struggling to see anything that would be affordable and suitable for me and a toddler in the area we have support unless I can increase the deposit amount. I'm guessing I'll have roughly 35k deposit from the sale of the house but in my area houses are about 160k for something reasonable that I would still need to do a bit of work to (which I could do over time). My problem is that a DIP is suggesting I'd need a 60k deposit to be able to get a mortgage of this size. I'm not a high earner 38kpa and I just don't know how I'd increase this as I've worked hard to get a well paid and specialised role in my sector. I have a cc debt of £2k which I'm paying off and should have paid fully in the next 5 months.

My main priority is security for my son. I don't want to rent because I don't want his inheritance to be paid into someone else's pocket and I don't want to potentially have to move again, I want him to have stability growing up. Plus I'd pay more on rent than I would on a mortgage. I just feel like such a failure and this is so far from the life I wanted for my son and myself.

Can anyone offer any advice/ recommendations?

OP posts:
Holidaysarecomingocthalfterm · 26/10/2024 14:20

What does your solicitor say?
Can you stay with family for longer to allow you to save more towards the deposit?

Holidaysarecomingocthalfterm · 26/10/2024 14:22

And have you talked to a mottgage advisor to find out how much you can borrow and then checked your budget to see if it’s affordable.

Mrsttcno1 · 26/10/2024 14:25

Your only options really are to stay with family to save more for a deposit, or look for somewhere cheaper even if in the short term and then look to move on when that is more doable.

Speak to an independent mortgage adviser, they can access all deals on the market so can see if there is a lender who can make something work for you.

Newlysinglemum1 · 26/10/2024 14:25

So, I need legal aid to afford my divorce, but I can only get legal aid by having uc which means I need to have childcare costs to be entitled to that. Having childcare costs dramatically reduces the amount I can lend for a mortgage meaning I need to have a more significant deposit. Ds is 2.

My family don't really want us staying with them and I definitely don't want to be a burden to them any longer than I absolutely have to be as its been hard on my head living with them and knowing I'm not really wanted there. Plus zero privacy or boundaries.

OP posts:
Newlysinglemum1 · 26/10/2024 14:28

I haven't spoken to a mortgage advisor yet because I figured I would need to be closer to being ready to buy (maybe house sold) to do that. Once the house sells ill only have 6 months to find something otherwise I'll lose my UC and my legal aid.

My other worry is if I let the house sit someone might target it due to what stbxh has done in our community. So that might affect the value.

OP posts:
Onetwothreemisstwo123 · 26/10/2024 14:28

Can you look at other options a flat rather than a house? Shared ownership scheme ?
Dc 1 had less deposit and income than you but didn't want the uncertainty of renting so has opted for Shared Ownership (was also looking at flats).
As a single parent I understand, when I was looking I ended up looking slightly further out (but still commutable for work and family support) and buying a smaller property and dividing a double bedroom into two singles. Also making sure my finances were as good as they could be by not spending on anything but absolute necessities (short term hardship for long term gain). Maybe speak to a financial adviser for some advice to get you in the best position possible.

Mrsttcno1 · 26/10/2024 14:31

Newlysinglemum1 · 26/10/2024 14:28

I haven't spoken to a mortgage advisor yet because I figured I would need to be closer to being ready to buy (maybe house sold) to do that. Once the house sells ill only have 6 months to find something otherwise I'll lose my UC and my legal aid.

My other worry is if I let the house sit someone might target it due to what stbxh has done in our community. So that might affect the value.

This isn’t true, my husband is a mortgage adviser, you can call up and get “qualified” which is essentially going through finances, income etc, that will let you know what you are able to borrow so you know what budget you are looking at.

They can also discuss with you which lenders will factor in things like UC as income.

westisbest1982 · 26/10/2024 15:16

You can’t afford a house.

In your shoes, I would grin and bear it for another six months, save like crazy, then buy a two bedroom flat (approximately £90 - 110K?).

Shared ownership would be my last resort.

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