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Would you fight this? Child maintenance related

17 replies

LemonLime9 · 21/10/2024 10:50

Would you fight for what your children are entitled to or just let this go? My ex hasn’t worked a day since he left, he has been on benefits the entire 8 years we have been split. Due to this he does not have to pay any maintenance (he should be paying £7 a week but he always has debts so they say he doesn’t have to pay) he hasn’t paid anything in a year now. I’m sure he does this deliberately to avoid paying, it’s as simple as taking out an advance on UC then he doesn’t have to pay.

With the cost of living increasing so much my food shopping alone is just ridiculously expensive (3 teens who are always hungry) not to mention all other things that come with raising children as you can imagine. Anyway ex lives in a 3 bed HA flat and rents out the rooms (it’s in central London so the rooms can be rented out for a lot of money) this keeps him going without having to work, he told me he earns enough to not have to work and 8 years ago he told me it was 2k a month so who knows what it is now. I know for a fact he is doing this but don’t have any physical evidence. He doesn’t declare any of it so it’s not counted for child maintenance when it should be.

I’m so sick of scraping by each month whilst he doesn’t have to pay a penny and probably laughing about it (he chooses not to see the children I would probably feel less bitter about it if he was a great father but he has no contact with them) he refused to have them at his as he was “renting his rooms out” I asked him to instead take them out for the day then but he couldn’t even stick to that and would constantly cancel and make excuses not to come even stuff like it’s raining so he isn’t coming, truth is he only wanted to see them in my house and if I didn’t allow it he wouldn’t see them so I never ever get a day off or any time to myself he hasn’t seen them since march last year 2023. Anyway would you fight this to try to get this unearned income looked into? Or just accept he has got away with it

OP posts:
notatinydancer · 21/10/2024 12:27

I'd inform HMRC at least it's disgusting what these men get away with. Probably worth telling CMS but they won't do anything they are useless.

notatinydancer · 21/10/2024 12:27

I hope Labour will drastically change CMS.

LemonLime9 · 21/10/2024 21:01

no plan changes unfortunately that would benefit me as it seems any plans protect those on benefits, they are proposing to get rid of the fees for those on benefits so he will have to pay even less. I don’t want to get him into trouble or him lose his property I just want what the children are entitled to would reporting him mean he would lose his home?

OP posts:
RhaenysRocks · 25/10/2024 10:28

Why don't you want to get him into trouble? He is defrauding your kids, not you, them, of thousands of pounds. If someone hacked into their savings accounts and stole money, you'd want them to be caught yes? This is the same. CMS won't help but absolutely report him to HMRC. We need this flagrant abuse and neglect of children to stop.

LemonLime9 · 25/10/2024 11:57

Because I don’t want to make him homeless

OP posts:
RhaenysRocks · 25/10/2024 13:19

You wouldn't be. He is by behaving illegally and ripping off his kids. How about he gets a job and pays rent like everyone else has to?

Hoppinggreen · 25/10/2024 13:21

LemonLime9 · 25/10/2024 11:57

Because I don’t want to make him homeless

Why?

Sassybooklover · 25/10/2024 13:31

If your ex is living in a housing association property, I doubt he is allowed to sublet. If you know who the housing association is, then report him as potentially subletting. I'm sure a quick Google search of his address, would tell you which housing association he belongs too. He probably tells them he needs a 3 bedroomed as his children stay over! I know in my area, if you have even different sexed children, the housing policy states they have to share! There used to be a maximum age, but this was scrapped years ago. So, why does a single man, need a 3 bedroomed property?! Yes, he'd get into trouble, but I doubt a HA would make him homeless. He may be required to move into a smaller property. As he's single and doesn't see his children, then a 1 bedroomed flat is perfect acceptable. Perhaps then, he may have to work!

MadeForThis · 25/10/2024 13:33

Don't be so soft. He doesn't care if your kids have money to eat.

LemonLime9 · 25/10/2024 13:34

No he has never said he has the children there he has the property because his mum died so he was able to take on the tenancy maybe I’m too soft but that is why I would not like him to lose his property. I want what the children are owed but do not want him being thrown out.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 25/10/2024 13:36

Have you got any proof he’s doing this, a text maybe?

I’d let CMS/HMRC know.

LemonLime9 · 25/10/2024 17:50

No unfortunately not be refuses to acknowledge it in messages and just ignores any conversation about it. We don't have any contact anymore

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 25/10/2024 17:53

It's wrong he was allowed the 3 bed after his mum died

Ans even worse he sublets out and packets the money

So he's a landlord tech

And not declaring it to hmrc or uc

I would shop him !!

RhaenysRocks · 25/10/2024 17:55

Look, this is very simple. You owe this "man" nothing. He owes his children financial support. It's your job to get it for them, or at least try. There is zero reason to be "soft" on him. He is a lazy, scamming cheat, a pathetic excuse of a man, let alone a father. Where is your anger? Come on woman, all you need to do is make a few phone calls. It may or may not result in some maintenance but at least you can look your kids in the eye and say you tried.

Seymour5 · 25/10/2024 18:00

He can’t be getting all his rent paid by benefits as a single occupant. He’ll be classed as under occupying and subject to the reduction in housing allowance, known as Bedroom Tax. If he’s paying rent to the HA then that’s proof he’s subletting. I’d be having a word.

LemonLime9 · 25/10/2024 22:18

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/10/2024 17:53

It's wrong he was allowed the 3 bed after his mum died

Ans even worse he sublets out and packets the money

So he's a landlord tech

And not declaring it to hmrc or uc

I would shop him !!

He was not subletting it when I met him. He did that after we split because he would "need to give me money for the kids" but I've never seen any of it. He was allowed to keep the property as he was living there at the time I did think it was odd but this was almost 20 years ago so things were different

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 25/10/2024 22:32

RhaenysRocks · 25/10/2024 17:55

Look, this is very simple. You owe this "man" nothing. He owes his children financial support. It's your job to get it for them, or at least try. There is zero reason to be "soft" on him. He is a lazy, scamming cheat, a pathetic excuse of a man, let alone a father. Where is your anger? Come on woman, all you need to do is make a few phone calls. It may or may not result in some maintenance but at least you can look your kids in the eye and say you tried.

This.
You are still prioritizing this loser over the needs of your offspring. Why?

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